Wednesday, August 31, 2011

~ OR ~

You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left you.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the moments that you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want; open your eyes, move on & love again.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

My Journal 170

I was watching the news about Hurricane Irene landing on the East Coast. I thought that those folks probably don’t know what to do to prepare for a Hurricane.

Almost every geographical location has a propensity for some sort of a natural disaster. The West Coast has to deal with earthquakes. The Midwest has to deal with tornados. The North has to deal with blizzards. We simply have to deal with hurricanes.

Everyone around here has a list of emergency items to have readily available in the event of a hurricane. But having been through a few personally, I prepared an additional list.

A manual can opener – Having canned goods available is great, but the new electric can opener won’t cut it.

Bottles of Liquor – Sure, water is important. But you’re probably going to be stuck somewhere for a few days so why not make the best of alcohol that doesn’t need refrigeration?

Condoms – It’s gonna be dark, steamy and people will be bored. What better way to pass the hours?

Batteries – You already have the ones for the flashlights. But if you are stuck alone you may need another device with which to vibrate.

Bags of Cool Ranch Corn Nuts – Ok, canned goods are supposedly necessary for survival. But I can personally attest that you can live for weeks on Corn Nuts. And the noise will definitely amuse you friends amidst all the silence. Plus, it’s a personal favorite of mine.

Shoes – Believe it or not, even when the phones are down you can literally walk up to someone and talk to them. If you physically forgot how to have a conversation, grab a pen and paper and you can do your text signs by hand and show them to people.

Clean clothes – Remember, washing machines don’t work well without electricity. Make sure you have a stash of clean undies. You will sweat through them quickly.

A really cool hat – Why not, no one else would have thought of that!

Feel free to make further suggestions!

Monday, August 29, 2011

My Journal 169

This past weekend someone told me I over-analyze things. If I do I promise it is not intentional. It’s just that my mind absorbs data and processes it constantly. So I thought I would explain what happens.

When someone makes a comment, my brain immediately begins to analyze. Imagine a Rubik’s cube, only with about 100 tiles on each side. The comment appears on one side. The other sides of the cube have ideas, thoughts, meanings, inferences and much more. Also imagine that this giant Rubik’s cube is 4 dimensional, meaning not only do you flip the outside of the cube, but all through the center too.

Immediately this cube starts flipping sides around looking for the most logical combination of analysis. It spins and spins at hundreds of miles an hour and reporting thousands of possible meanings a second. While this is going on, there are a thousand other cubes of similar sizes whirling data and reporting analysis at the same time about other things I am pondering.

While all this is going on, in my brain I can see ever single solution on every single cube at the same time. All this data is flying at me constantly while I think about this one comment. Additionally, while all this data is whirling around in my head, I have to deal with life. I am having conversations with people, working, playing and enjoying beauty at the same time.

None of this is intentional. All this data analysis is happening without me wanting or trying. It’s just happening 24 hours a day and seven days a week.

So when I am talking to any of you, this is what is going on in the background. Eventually, the perfect solution to a particular comment or question on one of the cubes is found. But as soon as it is found, another cube replaces it and the data flow continues.

At the same time, everything from my past is spinning on separate Rubik’s cubes. There are hundreds of thousands of these spinning at the same time. Each one is reporting to me what should have happened, what did happen, what didn’t happen, and so on. It literally makes me mad at times.

These run non-stop. Well, there are times when they vanish. When I am involved in intense physical activity my thoughts vanish. Instead of thinking I am reacting. This is why I love to run and push myself to the limit. When I run my brain goes quiet and all I think about is calmness.

Another time the thoughts vanish is during sex. When I am with someone that I deeply care about the brain shuts down. I can have sex with a stranger while all this data continues to spin. But when it is with someone I really care about it all goes away and all I think about is how to please this person.

For most of my life that had been it. Nothing else shut down the noise. But a year or so ago I found someone. This person already had a mystical connection to me and my past, but they were not aware. When I think of this person, talk to this person or simply hear their voice; all the noise stops. It is truly the most peaceful time of my life.

But I have no control over keeping this person in my life, so I don’t want to get to used to this form of silence.

Anyway, if you think I over analyze then maybe you are right. But I promise it’s not intentional. It’s just the way my brain functions.

Weird, huh?

Friday, August 26, 2011

My Journal 168

Ok, it’s time for my Friday shout outs!

Martel – First, you’ve made it to the top of the list so congrats. Second, do you realize our relationship is like Mother Theresa (a hot version) hanging out with Clyde Barrow?

Banana-Rama – Get some sleep this weekend. I promise not to bug you about my Coco pictures for a while.

Lovelygirl – Thanks for always having the best advice, and I promise to tell you everything going on in my current life once I figure it out myself.

HMPOA – Go Texans! I can’t wait for Saturday night; I even ironed my best jersey!

Niki-Cole – I know, I know! I will take my next road trip heading north. We will go dancing, “Pinky” promises!

Sunshine – You still impress me.

I may have mentioned before that I have a dog. It’s a female mix breed, but she is black with one white paw. And she is definitely my girl!

When I get to the house she meets me at the door. She gets so excited that she starts barking, and she can’t stop. She jumps up so I can pet her even before I put my stuff down. Then I will walk upstairs to my room and she stays right behind me, still barking this crying type of a bark. When I get to my room, before I can change she jumps into my bed so I can pet her some more. Then, after I change clothes we spend about 5 minutes hugging on each other.

I know, it sounds gay. But she’s the boss and I have to comply.

She eats when I eat, she sleeps when I sleep, she runs around the room when I work out, and she never leaves my side until the next morning when I leave for work. And then she sits in my window and watches me drive away.

Well, her nose is in a twitch these days. My kid got another dog. It just sort of appeared one day. I let him keep the new dog because he became so attached to it, and he’s had a rough year. But this new dog is a female as well, and my little girl doesn’t do well with other female dogs. So she’s a bit upset, especially when the new dog runs up to my room and interrupts OUR time.

[Not sure why I told this story, other than it’s on my mind]

Have a great weekend. Party a little, laugh a lot, and get laid at least once. Oh and think about me once . . . . maybe twice.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

My Journal 167

Sex!

Yup, that’s today’s topic. I gather there is some taboo about discussing sex. But honestly isn’t it the one thing with which we all probably are very familiar?

I have one friend that views sex as something special, and you should save it for that special person.

I can see that logic. But my reasoning is probably very different than hers. I think I would enjoy being in a long term relationship with a lady that had ONLY been with me. Agreed, the odds of that happening are negligible. But I think I would like it. Shoot, I could mold her from scratch into exactly what I want sexually. Now that would be magnificent.

I’ve said this before, but in tune with this friend’s logic I will repeat my position. If I am on a first date, and it’s progressing nicely, I will make a move. I do not get sex on every first date, but I will say that every time I decide to make my move I do succeed. But here is the wrinkle about me. If I succeed, I usually have problems maintaining a long term relationship with that person.

I guess my logic is that is I can get into your panties on the first date, then I assume someone else could also. So to have a long term relationship I assume that this girl would be banging other guys on a regular basis. Faithfulness would be a lost cause. So, I then believe that I can go get some as well. In effect, these actions could ruin a relationship.

If a girl makes me wait, well to be honest her chances for a second date may go down. But if we do get together again, I have a belief that if she had drinks after work with another guy while we were dating, that she wouldn’t be banging that guy as easily. It actually gives me a greater degree of trust and adds to the potential success of a long term relationship.

Now, if you assume that I am a typical guy; then this friend’s logic has some credence. It may sound “old fashion”, but it may work. I guess it depends on your personal goals. Are you looking for a “piece of ass” or something more?

I have another friend that views sex simply as pleasure, like watching a good movie.

I can see that logic as well. Sex is fun! Sex can be simply about pleasure, or “getting off”. Thus the success of this new arrangement titled Friends with Benefits. Her logic is that sex is just a physical event with no emotions at all.

But at the same time, what if I just screw you for fun and at some point I find out that you have several qualities that I cherish. I may find myself moving from a physical action to an emotional action unintentionally. If this happens then I begin to wonder how many physical sexual relationships you currently have, and this begins to create challenges. Also, if it has in fact become emotional to me I would then want it to be emotional for you. How do you broach that discussion?

Additionally, if you are doing it just for fun then it becomes a contest over who gets pleasured first or at all. In this type of a relationship I would be thinking that if it’s for fun then I want it my way. My partner may have the same logic. Eventually the relationship dissolves due to lack of satisfaction. And there is a good chance that both people could become angry at some point.

I don’t have an answer. How you view sex is completely up to you. I’m just here to bring the shit to the surface so it can be openly discussed. But to me the perfect relationship would be to meet someone special, get the sex out of the way on the first date, and then build the trust and live happily ever-after.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My Journal 166

I was having a discussion with a friend recently about some friendship issues I am having. I am trying to be a normal person and have friends and / or relationships. I am new at this so when things don’t go as I plan I become frustrated. I’ve always gotten what I want either by becoming smarter, stronger, faster, or simply working harder than everyone else. But when it comes to relationships I can’t figure out how to get what I want. I’ve been trying for one for over a year now, and I keep feeling like I am failing.

So my friend tells me this . .

TRUE FRIENDS STAB YOU IN THE FRONT

I know that sounds a bit juvenile. But as I thought about it maybe this is the key to relationships. I’ve got a few friends of many years. Any one of them I can count on to tell me exactly what is going on. I always know where they are and what they are doing because we stay in touch. And if something bad is about to happen, they tell me up front. Like the phrase, if they have to stab me they do it in the front.

I have some new friends which may or may not hang around for the long haul. But as I thought about them I could see which ones would stab me in the front, and which one’s wouldn’t. Since I believe everyone will stab someone sometime, then it means that these other new friends would probably stab me in the back eventually. Knowing this makes it easier for me to decide with whom to spend my time.

And I use the word “stab” metaphorically. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a “stab”; it could just be that someone purposefully maneuvers behind your back. They may not actually stab me, but they are there just in case they have to. So when someone appears to have these secrets or hidden agendas, then I have to assume I am on that agenda.

As I am wrapping my brain around this concept, I am interrupted with another pearl of wisdom. .

LIFE IS ONLY PARTLY WHAT WE MAKE IT, AND MOSTLY WHAT IS MADE BY THE FRIENDS WE CHOOSE

This phrase took me back to my original point. I’ve always been able to make people want what I want. But I never did that in an attempt to develop something long term. A relationship; whether friendly, business, or romantic; can’t be determined by one person. If someone wants a relationship with me, I can refuse it. So I guess if I want a relationship with someone then they could refuse it too.

Ok, that part makes sense.

But what if the other person isn’t sure? What if they sort of might want a relationship, but for a different reason? That wouldn’t necessarily make them a ”user”. Maybe they want to keep someone around just in case.

This is where the concept of life is reflected in the above phrase. If I am trying for a relationship (friendly) then I have accepted this person as a friend. If I have accepted this person as a friend, even if the thought isn’t reciprocated, then they are affecting my life. I chose them.

And I can choose to give up.

So maybe what I need to do is stop trying for a relationship. (Argh! Me having to give up???) I can’t make someone be what I want or need. Either they are that person or they aren’t. A person may be someone that makes me notice them, and they may have MANY qualities I cherish. But if the biggest quality isn’t there, like allowing me into their life, then I may have to look for someone else.

I am learning folks. I’m just a relationship virgin I guess. But I am a winner so I will eventually find what I want . . . . and get it.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Journal 165

Has anyone else been paying attention to the weather / disasters? In case you haven’t noticed, other than locust, we are experiencing an awful lot of problems. Is it the end of the world? Personally I don’t buy into the end of the world crap. But at the same time I am fully aware that everything dies, and everything is dying every day.

The event usually referred to by the phrase “end of the world” is described in 2 Peter 3:10: “The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare.” This is the culmination of the events referred to in the beginning of that verse as “the day of the Lord,” the time when God will intervene in human history for the purpose of judgment. At that time, all that God has created, “the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1), He will destroy.

The amazing symbolism runs throughout the rest of the book of Revelations and of course it is highly debatable as to what is to be taken literally or symbolically.  Further judgments are released upon the earth in the form of seven trumpets, two witnesses, a dragon (the devil), the beast (the antichrist) and the false prophet, and seven golden bowls.  The judgments passed on to the Earth and its inhabitants include:
  • Plague
  • Earthquakes
  • Hailstorms
  • Fire
  • Famine
  • Meteor storm
  • Lack of drinking water
  • And more
Geez, this sounds really depressing. So to lighten your day I will share what I will be doing from the moment I know that the official “end of the world” has begun. These are in no particular order.

·         I will drink heavily. And it won’t be the cheap stuff either. Heck, I may just walk in to a liquor store and take a bottle of Gentleman Jack. What are they going to do? Arrest me?

·         I will be high! Nuff said.

·         I will walk into a crowded theater and scream FIRE! I don’t know why, I just always wanted to do it.

·         I will grab a pair of scissors and run with them. Take that mom! Heck, I may even run on the deck next to a pool.

·         I will wear my Cowboy boots with my favorite shorts. Personally I think it’s making a fashion statement, just never had the guts to do it before.

·         I will find David Grenier and beat the shit out of him one more time. I just want to see a grown man crying and begging for mercy one more time. And I just don’t like that idiot.

·         I will make everyone call me Raylen. It was one of my aliases in the old days and I really liked that name.

·         I will track down Sunshine and have wild ass, freaky, intense sex with her. Well, that’s assuming that she agrees . . . . otherwise it could be called rape. Again, what are the cops going to do? Arrest me? (I believe that she has a gun so she may shoot me. Oh well, I probably would have burned in hell anyway)

·         I will steal me a rope. Heck, if it’s really the Rapture then souls will be raised up to heaven. I’ll just rope one of the tall ones and hang on.

·         I will steal a Buda City Limit sign. I was busted doing just that in college and it always bugged me that I failed.

·         I will watch the movie “Rocky” one last time. I will probably eat about 10 bags of popcorn too. (Remember, I would be high)

·         I will listen to “Fall in the Light” by Lori Carson and Graham Revell from the soundtrack to movie “Strange Days”. It’s the most romantic song I’ve ever heard.

·         I will walk back onto a football field somewhere. I haven’t done that once since I lost my ability to play. Too depressing I guess.

And finally . . . .

·         I will pray that all of you make it to whatever you think heaven is.

My Journal 164

In the movie “The Great Lil Whore House in Texas” there is a scene where the local politician sings a song about “Doing the side step”. It basically shows how you can sidestep the truth and still claim you are not lying or withholding information.

I simply don’t understand that concept. Why would someone not just say, “Here it is”? Why are people so afraid of telling the truth?

So I ask questions. Not very often, but when it’s important I ask. I believe a real friend will answer. Since I don’t ask often, I figure my real friends realize that when I do ask something it’s big. So they answer. But some simply won’t, don’t or can’t. Does that mean they are not friends or does it mean I put too much faith in them?

Now if I were a “goody two-shoes” or something then I could understand why someone might feel the need to not share something. Maybe they would worry about my reaction or something. But people . .

I AM WORSE THAN ANY OF YOU.

Whatever it is you did, I’ve done worse. I completely understand mistakes, fuck ups, or general devious behavior. I understand weakness, complexities and frustrations. And the screwiest part is that I have the personality and the very unique skill sets that would make me favorable to offer advice or even assist with whatever it is. So I don’t know why I ever get excluded.

It happened this weekend again.

So, I have decided that to understand it I have to live it. So I will follow the song from that goofy movie. I will begin doing the “sidestep” and see what benefits I gain.

Hey, if it’s good for the goose then it’s good for the gander!

Friday, August 19, 2011

My Journal 163

I actually got some feedback to my blog about College Sports. I was asked, “What are my views about how college athletes should be handled?” I thought I had addressed this before, but I couldn’t find it. So I’ll lay out my logic for you now.

My thought is that any college student that receives a scholarship should be treated like any other college student that receives a scholarship. Allow me to illustrate because I would bet you that you are wrong about what I mean. As usual, I’ll use examples to make my two points.

I had an athletic scholarship when I went off to college. I was awarded this scholarship for my abilities and skills in the area of ATHLETICS. I have a friend (BTW – A SMOKIN’ HOT FRIEND) that has an academic scholarship to the same university I attended. She was awarded that scholarship for her abilities and skills in the area of BUSINESS, which is what her degree is in. Both of us have / had free tuition, room and board. My books were also covered, but I am not sure if hers are. The point is basically I am presenting two students on scholarship that basically get the exact same thing.

But this is where the difference begins. The NCAA has stepped into my world and declared that they are additional rules that apply to me.

My super sexy friend can actually go out and perform business services for anyone, and get paid, and keep the money. No one cares that she can do this. She is cute, so she can let someone pay her to put her face on flyers perhaps to recruit people to her sorority. She can hire an attorney to protect her future. She can hire a CPA to watch over her money. She can hire an investment company to protect her assets. And if one day she has no money, and she “flirts” her way into a haircut, she has broken no rules.

On the contrary, I was precluded from using my abilities and skills to generate money. I can’t play ball somewhere and get paid, I can’t even coach for money as it would be a violation of NCAA rules. If the school puts my face on a program to induce people to buy tickets, or if they sell jerseys with my number on it, I can’t get a penny. I can’t hire an attorney, an accountant or an agent as all of these would cause me to be banned from playing ball. Oh, and if I took a free haircut I would have violated the NCAA rules.

Seriously!

Basically, the difference is that one student can make money using the skills that got her a scholarship where the other student CAN NOT use those skills to make money. This is where there are inequities and the athlete should be allowed to make a buck off of his skills or face; JUST LIKE ANY OTHER STUDENT.

Actually, the athlete should be allowed to make more money because he actually generates more money. I’ll use another example from my past to explain.

My senior year in High School we were facing our biggest rival. They had a guy who was All State, fast, and strong. I was All State as well. So the build up to this game was that me and this guy were going to war. The entire city got in on the action and got excited. The game was moved to the largest stadium in my home town, and over 35,000 tickets were sold. They were even selling tickets to sit in the parking lot and watch the game on TV.

Yup, a local TV station decided to televise this game because it had become such a HUGE deal to the public. It would be televised all over the area. T-shirts were printed and sold. Radio talk shows discussed the game all week. Everyone was on the bandwagon to watch me and this other kid play against each other.

I love hype. But this is what is seriously wrong with school athletics. At the end of the night, I stood alone in a locker room, peeling off my blood soaked pants and sweat covered jersey, looking at my bruised body, and limped over to a water jet machine to try to be able to bend my knee again as all the pain shots I had to take before the game just to play had worn off. I was exhausted, beaten up; sore and I had probably taken time off of my athletic life by playing in that game.

Yet I had NO money in my wallet.

The owner of the stadium made a fortune. Both schools made a fortune. The TV station made a fortune. The radio stations made a fortune. Crap, even the guy selling the t-shirts made a fortune. Everyone got rich but me and that guy.

BUT WE WERE THE ENTERTAINMENT! We each took a beating, risked our career and lives, and got NOTHING in return. The two of us generated a ton of money for everyone. We should be entitled to our cut.

Everyone that ever played football dreamed of going to the NFL. Some are good enough and some aren’t. The problem is that even though you are good enough, you play a brutal sport. You may not stay healthy enough to survive long enough to make it to the NFL. And folks, in this system that is the only time you can make money.

College football is the minor leagues of the NFL, yet no one gets paid.

The guy I played against in that HUGE game was lucky. He stayed healthy and made it to the NFL where he made his money. I was injured. So even though we were equally talented, I never got the chance to make any money. I had to risk everything every week just for the chance to make money years from now, and that’s not right.

So here is my solution. The schools don’t need to do anything additional.

First, allow the athlete to make as much money as he can off of his skill, name or face. If he wants to hire someone to print out his jersey with his name and his autograph then he should be allowed to sell it and keep any profits.

Second, allow the athlete to hire lawyers, accountants and specifically agents. If the agent wants a college athlete to sign with him, he would freely provide the recruit with an income while he plays college ball. When the athlete graduates, and gets drafted in the NFL, the agent then begins to make his money with the player. But the risk and burden remain with the agent. He could pay the athlete for three years and then the athlete gets injured. The agent is out that money. Or the athlete could just no turn out to be good enough to be in the NFL; again the agent is out of luck.

But the point is that the athlete is rewarded immediately for putting his body on the line. The agent pays him a salary to sign with the agent. And the agent assumes the risk of caring for the athlete until he can create a revenue stream for the agent.

It’s a win / win / win.

Oh well, it’s not a perfect system and no one will ever listen to me. But trust me . . . . . this would work.

Have a SUPER weekend . . . . and think about me once cuz I'm thinking about you!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

My Journal 162

In case you’re paying attention to sport news, The University of Miami is now in trouble for having booster supply cash, boats, cars, prostitutes and even arranging for abortions for women seduced by athletes. Apparently this has been going on for over 10 years.

Hello?

I have told you that this has been going on since the beginning of time. College football generates HUGE revenues. Those schools that get the top athletes get the most fans, and therefore generate the most money. And again, IT’S A LOT OF FREAKIN’ MONEY. So the schools do what they have to do to “seduce” the athletes to choose their school.

I know we discussed college athletics before, and my views on how the college athlete should be handled. But since this is a topic in the news again I will share with you all the perks I got when I had my football scholarship.

But before we discuss this, let me briefly share how a High School athlete was handled in my day. Basically we were gods and had carte blanche to do whatever we wanted. We had practice every morning of the school year, so I had to be present at . I had some form of football or track practice after school, so I had to be present at the end of the day. My lunch period, which was two hours since they included a “study hall” led by the coaches, was really an excuse to get away from the regular population so the Home Economics class could prepare us food. Yup, we were fed what we wanted every day . . . . . FOR FREE.

Other than these times of the day, no one cared where I was. I took six classes each year. Three of these classes were athletics or a basic class for athletes taught by a coach. So I was guaranteed three A grades each year. The coached would talk to my other teachers and I was guaranteed a C grade in each of the other classes, even if I never showed up. For the record, most of the regular teachers preferred I was not in class. So I didn’t show up. If I did I took a seat in the back and took my nap.

So, I graduated with a really good GPA yet never took a test.

In order to be accepted into a college, you had to take the SAT and ACT tests. This was a problem for me . . . . or so I thought. I was told just to show up, fill out the form, turn it into a specific person and then I could leave. I made the minimum requirements on each test just by showing up for the test.

Amazing, huh?

Before I arrived on my college campus I was “wooed” by two UNBELIEVABLY SEXY coeds. And yes, sex and booze was involved. I’m not sure if they were told to provide sex, or if I was just so darn charming that they threw it in as a bonus, but it helped me make my decision.

Once I was on campus I declared myself a Business Major, because it was the only degree plan that required only two semesters of science. I hated science. The athletic program then provided me with three tutors. These tutors were not there to educate me though, they were there to actually show up and take my classes and tests. SWEET!

I was given an envelope with about $1,000 in it too. That was to help with moving my “stuff” to college. Folks, I showed up with a duffle bag of clothes and a six-pack of beer. That was all I had to move. But I was able to throw a few killer parties with the remaining cash.

I was given a job at the stadium. My job was to turn on the sprinklers twice a day and then turn them off 30 minutes later. Now that sounds a bit difficult, but the sprinklers were automatic and on timers. But I was paid $100 a week for my job. And no, I was not expected to punch a time card.

I was assigned a booster too. I was told that after every game I was to visit with my booster and give him the “inside scoop” about the most recent game, or to discuss the next game if asked. After this meeting I was given another envelope of cash.

Oh, the good old days.

It’s too bad my leg gave out, I lost my scholarship, and I had to become a real student, take real classes, go get three REAL jobs, and make my way through it.

Damn the bad luck!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My Journal 161

I recall many years ago asking my young son to roll up his window. He looked at my 1973 Chevy Pickup door, paused for a moment, and then asked, “Where’s the button”? I replied to turn the crank. He stared at me completely blank. He had never heard of a window crank.

So today I will list some things from my childhood that you probably never heard about. Enjoy.

·          Air vents under the dash on cars and trucks. You would reach under the dash, near the floorboard, and open a vent to let the air created by your vehicle moving blow into the vehicle to cool you.

·          Manual steering and manual brakes for vehicles. You literally had to have the vehicle moving to steer it. You could not turn the steering wheel when the car was stopped. And to stop the vehicle you had to REALLY push the brake.

·          Spare tires that actually were tires. When you rotated there was actually a process to rotate your spare to the ground and rotate one ground tire to a spare. Hmmm, tires lasted longer back then too.

·          No seatbelts. Yup, I remember two cars that my folks owned which had no seatbelts at all.

·          Houses with no central air conditioning. Houses were built to allow air flow. There were louvers above the doors which you could open in the summer while the door remained closed. This would allow the natural breeze to flow through the house. Actually, homes were very comfortable.

·          Home furnaces under the house. You had grates in a few rooms to allow hot air to blow up. The logic was golden, heat rises. So put the vents on the floor.

·          No locks on front doors. There was no need to lock your house. No one was stupid enough to go inside your house un-invited. But there were locks on the garage. Hmmm?

·          Phones with spiral cords. You had to actually be in the vicinity of the phone and could only move away as far as the cord allowed. You could order the long cord and be about 8 foot away. Oh, and the only colors for phones were black, mustard of avocado.

·          Party lines. You want to talk about privacy? We had party lines. You pick up a phone to call a friend or neighbor and anyone on your grid could then pick up their phone and listen in.

·          Bicycling, skateboarding and roller skating WITHOUT helmet or pads. Damn, we did all that, in shorts and no shirt for years . . . . and we lived????

And finally . . . .

·          Actual FACE TO FACE conversations with people. No spell check, no erase button, no faking or lying. We actually talked to people, said what was on our mind, and moved on.

Awwww, the good old days!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My Journal 160

First and foremost, some simple advice for all women . . . .

JUST SAY WHAT’S ON YOU MIND!

Perhaps it’s just that you’re not sure what is on your mind. Well crap, figure it out and tell someone. I know I’ve tried to explain this before, and I hate to be redundant, but try to listen for once.

As a guy we are tasked with trying to find out what you want. If we are too aggressive because we think you like us we could become a creep or a stalker. If we are too passive because we think you’re not into us then we are weak or gay. Yes, I know you’re role in this dating thing sucks too. You have to sit and hope that the right guy asks you. But why? Come talk to us.

And remember that we have to put ourselves out there EVERY SINGLE TIME. We have been slapped, ridiculed, mocked and threatened simply for asking you out. We never know how you will respond so we have to suck it up and make the first move. Again, I prefer this to waiting around. But try to keep in mind that we may have PTDS (Post Traumatic Date Syndrome)

Look, we try our best to figure you gals out. But you never let us know for sure.

So let me give you two recent examples of how good or bad it could work.

So I go out last week. I am sitting at a bar downtown next to a young and tiny girl. She is in a bar so I assume that she must be 21, but I would bet not much more. I’m just minding my own business when she begins to speak to me.

Sign number one, she spoke to me. So we begin chatting. We sort of hit it off as best as I can tell. She is with a girlfriend and they decide to go to another bar right down the street. This chick asks me to go. Please note, she didn’t ask me if I wanted to go, she asked me to go. There is a huge difference. If she had asked if I wanted to go I really wouldn’t know if she was just being nice or if she wanted me to go with her. By asking me to go she implies that she wants me to go, so I do.

She grabs my hand, which is sign number two. She holds my hand dragging me as walk to the next bar. And she talks to me, not only to her friend. The evening progresses and as we are talking the band is playing. So we have to lean into each other to hear. On one of my “lean in” motions I put the side of my face next to her mouth so I can hear. She kisses me.

Sign number three. So now I am fully aware that I can be myself with this chick. I don’t know how far she wants to go, but I am comfortable that we can have fun. And we do. We drink, we laugh, and we have fun. There was a limo available (long story) and we end up going there for some champagne. She is still holding my hand at this time and in the middle of the conversation she places my hand on her breast.

Sign number four. Now I am confident that we are on the same page. We begin kissing heavier and our hands wander a bit more. Now I hit a snag at this point which is totally unrelated to her. I started thinking about this other girl. It was someone that I was recently smitten with, and “poof” she pops into my head. It was sort of a distraction. But I guess the girl I was with noticed. So the next thing I know she has removed her panties from under her very short skirt and hands them to me.

Sign number five, and I never thought about the other girl again that night.

After about an hour of intense passion, this girl writes her phone number on my hand and tells me to call her. Now get this, she said, “I’m not looking for a boyfriend, I’m just looking for a good guy to hang out with, but who knows.”

So I caught every sign and even know where we are when we finally said goodbye many hours later.

Example number two. I have a friend that I wanted to be closer to. We had been friends for a while so I told her my intentions. She actually gave me a limited yet possibly positive response. So I began my quest.

The problem was that nothing else changed. More than half of the times I tried to arrange a date she was too busy or just didn’t reply. When we did find time to be together she would limit my access to her. So, I got one signal that said go ahead and try and another signal that said back off.

I asked her to let me know her schedule because she was very busy. I figured if I knew when her down time was I could ask her for that time. She wouldn’t do it. So I would tell her my schedule, hoping that she would clue me in on when she would be available. She didn’t.

WTF?

There were more events, but it was constantly back and forth. She would say or do something that would make me go “Awwww”; and in an instant she would then do something that would make me go, “Huh?” It is maddening.

So being the direct sort of person that I am, I told her to figure out what she wants and then to call me. With this girl I wanted a bit more that sex in a limo (well, awesome, hot, passionate sex . . . ummm, sorry . . I’m back)

The first girl, the one I didn’t know and didn’t know me, was up front and honest and we both had a great time. The second girl, the one I like, is secretive, misleading, confusing, and distant (typical female role). So if she wants to have fun I don’t know it. She may be thinking, “Whew, he finally is backing off!”; or she may be thinking, “What’s wrong with this guy?”

I don’t know. But I have my reasons to be cautious.

So, once again ladies . . . . JUST SAY WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND!!!

Trust me, you will ALWAYS get what you want that way.

Friday, August 12, 2011

My Journal 159

I need to possibly clear up a little confusion about the new timing of my journals. In the ultimate wisdom of the person in charge of the computer network here, I was blocked from going to that particular web site. So what I do now, since I usually write very early in the morning if I have nothing else pending, is to write my thoughts down one day, and post them then next morning. I have to actually go to another company in the same building and use their computer to post my journals.

Argh!

So what you may see as being posted on a Thursday is really my thoughts from Wednesday morning. And when I mention that I did something “last night”, keep in mind that by the time it posts it is probably two days ago when I did that particular deed. Comprende?

This particular blog is even more dated. I knew I will be off on Friday. As I mentioned, due to recent events in my personal life I decided I needed to go get blasted one night, raise some hell, chase some tail, and maybe even pick another of my infamous fights. By knowing that I wouldn’t be here Friday morning (perhaps in jail somewhere again) I actually am writing this Wednesday evening, yet you won’t read it until Friday at the earliest.

I’m just trying to keep you up to speed on my unusual life.

OK, today’s topic is Fantasy Football . . . .

Hey, wait a minute! Come back! I realize that all of my readers are female, but I can even make this topic interesting so sit down and keep reading.

For those of you who are not familiar, the NFL season is starting very soon. In my youth my first goal in life was to play in the NFL. Football was my love. I still say today that if ANYONE ever walks out of that tunnel prior to a game, with 20,000 fans all pumped up, hoping to see their team beat the arch rival, reliving their childhood fantasies, and as you walk out and all these fans see you they stand an scream your name; then that rush would make you love the game as well. Or better yet, if you were in a tough game with a hated opponent and in a blink you step in front of a pass and take it 80 yards the other direction while listening to your side of the stadium go crazy with joy and the opponents side simply letting out one loud gasp of horror; you too would LOVE the game.

Moving on . . . .

On any given Sunday you will have about 14 NFL football games going on. Everyone has their favorite team that they have to watch. And there are usually one or two games where the matchups are so strong that you want to watch those games as well. But that leaves about 11 games that are of no immediate interest to you.

The solution to making the other games interesting is called Fantasy Football. And here is how it works.

You join a league with some friends. Basically you just all sign up to an internet program and claim you are a group. Prior to the start of the season you have a draft. What happens here is you attempt to pick the specific players that you believe will gain the most yards or score the most touchdowns for the entire season. Once the draft is complete you have your team.

Your team is a mixture of players from every team in the NFL. So you could be starting the quarterback from team A and the receiver from team B. Now the odds show that every week you will have players involved in one of those 11 uninteresting games. Yet because your guy is out there, and because you have money riding on his performance, you watch the game and it becomes extremely interesting.

Let me try to put this in terms you may appreciate.

I understand that most women enjoy watching the show Desperate Housewives. I also have heard that in this show several women tend to argue or fight among themselves, which is why women tune in once a week.

But suppose that instead of one show a week, the network puts on four shows a week. And in each show one woman has an argument with another specific woman. So woman A argues with woman B on channel 1, while woman C is arguing with woman D on channel 2. Now you may not care for woman E and F, so you would have no interest in watching them argue.

Still with me out there?

But what if you and your girlfriends bet that woman E would use the word “bitch” four times in one argument? You would have your hard earned money riding on her using that word. Suddenly, that episode, which was uninteresting originally, becomes very interesting to you. And you watch it for your own benefit and / or entertainment.

That is the concept I am trying to share.

Now throw into the mix that in Fantasy Football you are actually competing against friends, then suddenly “trash talking” and side bets become the norm. Each week you play against one of your friends. The players you pick play the real game, as does the players your friend picks. At the end of the week’s games, the computer tallies up the points your players scored and the points your friend’s players scored. Whoever scores the most wins for that week.

You repeat this process each week for 13 weeks. Each week you can trade players, drop players and pick up new players. But by the time the game starts your team is locked. After 13 weeks, the four friends with the best win and loss record have a playoff. The ultimate winner claims all the money.

Anyway, it’s a great way to keep me entertained.

The reason I am bringing this up is that this year I am allowing any of you that want to feel the rush to participate. A few years ago HMPOA worked with me, and last year Sunshine helped a bit. But this year anyone that has an interest can contact me and we will go through the season together. Heck, I’ll even let you make a few of the close choices that need to be made.

So let me know. Have a great weekend and hopefully I’ve gotten “someone” out of my mind by the time you read this . . . . and hopefully I am not in jail!!!!

Luv you gals!