BEST OF - THE SAVIOR

“Why am I here”, she thought. Tom asked me to come with him, and it didn’t make sense then. It makes less sense now.

Before, when I was married to Tom, or at least in the beginning, there was love and passion. But Tom chose gambling and drugs over me. We grew apart and I finally left him to protect myself from his downfall.

But now he is trouble again. He called me to go with him to this meeting for support. He didn’t tell me what the meeting was about or anything, just that he needed me to go. And, like a fool, I agreed. So her I sit here in a dump of a Mexican Restaurant at a table with Tom, and this guy who looks like the Mexican version of the Godfather and his friend who is huge and scarred up.

Tom brought two of his friends, who are standing behind us. This Godfather guy has three guys in the room; another at the kitchen door and another standing out front letting people know the restaurant is closed tonight. We are the only ones in the restaurant. There is a lot of tension in the air, a lot of nervousness and I am the worse. So, why am I here?

The guy with the scars looks up from his plate and asks Tom if he brought the money he owes. He stares straight at Tom and then states that not having it would be VERY bad. Tom begins to fidget; he does that when he is very nervous. He shakes his head “No” and begins to explain.

“I know it is due today, but I need another week. I have a certain opportunity which will clear all this up, but it will take a few days to pull everything together.”

Everything got REAL quiet then. Tom was staring at the Godfather and I was staring at Tom, just screaming in my mind ‘how could you have brought me into this situation!’.

The scarred guy looks over his shoulder at one of his guys, and the guy begins to approach the table. Tom is sweating profusely. At that moment, I hear a noise behind me. I am afraid to turn my attention from the table, but I find myself looking back over my shoulder.

In walks this tall, menacing figure slowly making his way over to the bar area, which is only about 20 feet from our table, but behind everyone. He is wearing a black Stetson and dark black sunglasses. He is in black jeans, a black shirt and a floor length black leather coat which just shows his black boots. He appears oblivious to the surroundings and the group in the area. But he is now the most frightening figure in the place.

As I turn my attention back to my present situation, the Godfather looks up at this man and tells the scarred guy to take care of this. The scarred guy stands up and waves his hand at the three guys behind him, signaling them to move forward.

“Hey”, he shouts at the intruder, “This place is closed for a private meeting!”

The intruder just ignores his statement as he reaches the bar, leans over and grabs a bottle and a glass. He calmly pours himself a drink and proceeds to sit on the bar stool and stare straight at the scarred guy without saying a word. There is no fear in his face, just a rugged, cold stare.

“I said we are closed!” he repeats, “Now get the fuck out of here!”

His three goons are still moving towards this intruder, and now I see that they have guns. One has what looks to be an automatic rifle at his side.

“I said get the hell out of here NOW!” he quickly repeats as he points toward the door.

The intruder finally speaks, “I was invited.” His voice is country, and deep. His words exude the same confidence his figure gives. The place goes dead silent again.

The scarred man turns to one of his guys and tells him to find out what happened to Roberto, the guy at the front door and why he let this guy in. He then tells the other two to get this guy out of here.

“Hang on!” the intruder interrupts, “The guy at the door DID tell me not to come in, and he was insistent. Unfortunately, I had to change his attitude ….. so he won’t be joining us ….. for ever!”

His words echoed through out the room, and sent a chill down my spine. This was becoming too real. This was becoming a deadly situation. This intruder had brought more tension to the room. I again began to wonder why Tom would bring the mother of his children to such a place and such a situation.

The Godfathers face was growing increasingly disturbed. He appeared very mean and was growing impatient with the intruder. Everyone else, including the scarred guy was frozen at the intruder’s statement. So, the Godfather raises up from his plate and throws his napkin on the table. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” he sternly inquires.

The intruder calmly takes a sip of his drink and places it back on the counter.

“Who I am isn’t important, I’m nobody. What I am doing here is what I have been sent to do; and that is to protect the little lady from you. I am her bodyguard, and I am very capable of keeping her safe. I’m not here to interrupt your meeting, just to watch over things. But, I do want that asshole sitting next to her to explain to her the real reason that she was brought here tonight.”

My face went flush as he spoke. Everyone in the place turned to look at me, as if I knew anything about this at all.

Tom glared at me and spoke “You hired a bodyguard? For what?”

I quickly began explaining how I had never met this intruder before, how I didn’t hire him nor did I know how to hire a bodyguard, and that I am as much confused as everyone else when the intruder interrupted me.

“Hey Asshole!” He points at Tom and Tom spun around in his chair to face him. “Quit asking questions and tell her why you brought her or I will!”

I looked at Tom and he was looking at me nervously. “Honest, I have no idea what he is talking about.”

The intruder stands up and takes a step towards Tom. “You are such a prick” he exclaims as he points at Tom. He then turns his attention to me and continues. “Sweetheart, you are here today simply as ‘chattel’. You ex over there can not pay his bills, so he has made a deal with ‘big and ugly’ across from you that he will leave you with all of them for the week as a down payment for him getting another week to pay them off. Yup, he was going to let you suck every guy in this room, or whatever he wanted for an entire week without your consent, just so he could get another week to pay his debt. Lady, your family found out and hired me to get you out of here. I am a professional, but I didn’t come here to kill anyone, just to protect you. Now I will say this, if anyone else needs to die, it is your fuckin’ ex. And, I’ll do him for free.”

His words were so direct that I hated to move my eyes from him, but I had to look into Tom’s eyes for the truth. His eyes were scared, which let me know it was all true. I was a whore for all these guys just so Tom could walk out of here.

“How could you?” I asked Tom as I felt myself tearing up.

Tom didn’t answer; he just looked at the Godfather with those pleading, lying eyes of his.

The Godfather looked angrily at the scarred man and reminded him that he was told to take care of the intruder. The scarred man pulled a revolver from his belt and pointed it at the intruder. In an instant, the intruder whipped out a short shotgun from under his coat and an automatic weapon from the other side. Then everyone pulled out weapons. Everyone was pointing weapons at someone else, moving from one person to another. There was a lot of shouting between everyone until the intruder calmly spoke again.

“Ok, everyone clam down. If we get too silly now a lot of people are going to die needlessly.”

The room became deathly quiet. The intruder calmly pointed his automatic at the Godfather and his shotgun at the back of Tom’s head. Tom was sitting facing away with his eyes closed and his hands nervously on the table. The intruder looked directly at the Godfather and continued.

“You have only two choices right now big guy. You can let me walk her out of here and you continue you meeting with the asshole, and I could care less what you do with him. The other choice is you refuse and your entire world ends right here, right now. Sir, I am good at what I do, and she WILL leave here safely. All you’re deciding is your condition when she leaves!”

Oh my god, all I wanted to do was hide. Eight men pointing guns at each other and I am right in the middle of it all. How could Tom have done this? Why? I sensed my death was near and my only hope was a stranger in a cowboy hat. A stranger whose voice sounded surprisingly familiar.

“The deal is done for the girl already.” The Godfather snapped. “I am going to finish my meal and then this bitch is going to do me. When I am finished, then these guys can take her and do what ever they want. I will get my moneys worth out of her ass!” he slammed his fist down on the table.

In a blink, the kitchen door swung open and a man fired a single shot. I dove on the floor as shots began to ring out all around me. The noise was deafening. I covered my head, closed my eyes and began to pray.

I heard dishes breaking, people screaming, and the sound of bodies dropping to the floor. The shots seemed to get louder as I began to shake. I felt myself losing consciousness and began to wonder if I was hit and didn’t know it. All I felt was fear. I have two kids at home and they may never see me again. How could this have happened? Lord, please spare my life.

It wouldn’t stop. Bang, bang, bang. Boom, pow. I have never been so scared in my life.

Then, in an instant it all stopped. No noise, no yelling, nothing. I was now more frightened than before. My ears were ringing from the noise but I could make out footsteps. The fight was over, and there was a survivor.

“Get up asshole!”

I recognized that voice, it was the intruder. I opened my eyes and pushed my way out from under the table. My first sight was of horror. Bodies were lying all over the place. Blood was splattered all over also. I noticed that I had blood on me also. I wasn’t hit; I think it was the Godfather’s. The room smelt of gun smoke. It was like a smoke filled morgue.

I saw the intruder. He was standing over Tom pointing a gun at him. Tom stood up with his hands in the air begging not to be killed. The intruder spoke.

“You are the only guy who needed to be killed today. Because of you ALL the others died. The only reason you are alive is because she once loved you enough to marry you. So because of her I spared you life. But, don’t ever go around her again. I will not give you a second chance. Now, you sit here and wait for me to leave. And don’t speak a word to anyone or I will find you.”

With that said, he turned to me and extended his hand to me. As I reached for his hand I noticed a small trickle of blood on his hand.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

He said nothing; he just took my hand and helped me around and over all the bloody and dead bodies. We walked outside together. I noticed it had started to rain and the temperature had dropped. I was shaking all over. I thought I was going to pass out. I began to cry, but this intruder, my intruder; my suddenly familiar intruder remained silent.

He opened the door to his car to let me in. He walked to his side and got in also, but very slowly as if in some sort of pain. I again asked if he was all right. He again remained silent. As he drove I noticed he was grimacing. I could see lines of pain in his face, but I still couldn’t see his eyes. His silhouette looked familiar though.

We drove to a bus depot where he stopped the car. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, which he lit with a match he struck on the dashboard. He then took a deep drag and laid his head back relaxing while he exhaled. He suddenly seemed peaceful. I was afraid to do anything, and I was trying to understand him.

He reached out to me and handed me a $20 bill.

“This should get you where ever you need to be. You are safe now, just like I promised.”

We sat silently for a moment while he took another drag on his cigarette, completely ignoring me. I opened the car door and stepped out into the rain. I looked back at him and asked.

“Who are you? How did my friends find you?”

“You already know me. That is how I found you, your mom called me.” The intruder responded.

“But who are you?” I asked again straining to get a glimpse of his face. The car was dark and he was in the shadows, still wearing a hat covering his eyes and his sunglasses.

He slowly removed his dark sunglasses and turned towards me. His face appeared from the streetlight above. His features were strong, yet kind.

I realized that I did know him. I actually knew him well. He was my best friend. The man who held my head when I would cry about Tom. The man who showed up at Christmas the first year I was alone bringing gifts for my children. The man who used to call me daily, but quit. My heart leapt as I looked into his eyes. I should have known.

But my warmth quickly turned to horror as I saw blood pooling on the seat next to him. He was hurt, he was bleeding to death.

“Oh my god, you are hurt. Let me help you!”

He stopped me from entering the car by gently pushing me back. “I’m already dead.” He gave me a quick but fake smile and a wink. “I loved you sweetie. I tried everything to make you see that. You just ignored me. You avoided my calls, you avoided my questions, and I was trying to warn you. But in spite of all that, I could never let you be hurt. Anyway, if I can’t have your love, what is the point of staying here?” His face tightened as he grabbed his stomach and gently moaned. His hand was covered in blood now.

Then he reached across the seat and slammed the door closed. I yelled back at him. “What calls did I miss? How did I ignore you? How could I have known you cared?” I banged on the window as I watched him slowly and painfully put the car into gear. He fell forward on the steering wheel as he drove away. I ran beside the car screaming for him to stop, I wanted my chance to tell him how I felt.

But it was too late.

He finally picked up speed and his car disappeared into the fog.

I sat down and cried.

I never saw my friend again. I never saw anything about my ordeal on the news or in the paper. I never saw Tom again either. I realized that I was so focused on my problems that I missed perhaps the greatest thing that could have come into my life. I went home that night and hugged my kids.

My mother said that she never heard of my intruder and that she had no idea this was going on.

My intruder, my friend, my bodyguard, my lover that got away ………. died that night. He was cold, bleeding, and hurting. What hurt me the most is he died alone, and that I could have changed.

But, he did what he said he would do and he got me home safe. I will never ignore anyone again.

BEST OF #111, MARCH 2011

Since this Friday is my day, I made a list of all the things I would want, in no particular order, if I could have EVERYTHING.

Our government would be FIRED and we would set up a Charitable Organization to build our roads and supply our military. They would have to solicit donations from us as there would be no more taxes. If they don’t do a good job then no one would donate and they would fire their President and hire a new one to get it done, or go broke.

You wouldn’t have to pay, or be harassed into donating money, just to attend church.

My friend Kat would find a GREAT job and live happily ever after.

Everyone would “just say no” whenever they were being robbed, and hundreds of law abiding citizens would run to their aid.

Convicted rapists would be executed immediately.

Teachers would be paid more than lawyers.

There would be no unemployment benefits. If you lost your job you would have to find another quickly. If you need help you would have to ask your friends and family (meaning you would have to be nice ALL the time).

Women would not use “codes”. They would just tell you what they honestly need, want and feel.

My friend Sunshine would trust me.

It would be summer all year long.

Coffee would stay hot and never cool no matter how long it takes you to finish a cup.

The internet would not exist.

If two countries were irritated with each other, instead of waging a war where thousands of innocent people would be killed, each country would select 12 people and they would have a giant cage fight. Winner takes all!

Texas would be its own country. And of course it would be one BAD ASS country!

Mexican Restaurants would have to serve flour tortillas with every meal for FREE (Just like in San Antonio)

My kids would never have to experience war.

Disco would come back and stay forever.

Everyone would get to watch the sun set on a secluded beach at least one time in their life.

Pizza, Tortilla chips, beer, and Apple Fritters would have zero calories.

Prostitution would be legal.

Phones would ring if someone calls, and you can call someone. But that would be all; there would be no email, texting, surfing, ring tones or any of that other new wave crap.

People would read books instead of watching movies. Trust me; the imagination is far more amazing than any movie could ever create on screen.

Law schools would shut down for 30 years and graduate no more lawyers. Maybe then the ratio of people to lawyers would get back in check and everyone would stop suing everyone.

Everyone would live exactly 70 years. You would know the exact date and time of your death so you could be prepared. Everyone would retire at 60 so everyone would have 10 years to do whatever they want.

Clothing would be optional.

You would need a minimum IQ to be able to vote for anything.

There would be no property tax or homeowners associations. You would ACTUALLY be able to OWN land outright.

Smoking a good brisket wouldn’t take 14 hours. Maybe only 4?

All prisons would have a limit of inmates. When full, the next time someone is sent to prison the one that has been in that prison the longest is executed. Sorry, shouldn’t have committed a crime buddy.

Minimum speed limits on the freeways would be reinstated.

Everyone would get a paid day off on their birthday.

Abusing a pet would be punishable in a similar fashion as abusing a person.

Roses would not “magically” become more expensive on Valentine’s Day.

Marijuana would be legalized.

Schools would teach the things kids need to learn to succeed in life and not just what they need to know to pass some random test.

Spanking kids would be legal again.

There would be only ONE international language.

Everyone would get to be totally, madly and deeply in love at some point in their life.

EVERY disease would be curable.

Everyone would get two “rewinds” during their life. You could back up 10 minutes for a “do over” and no one would ever know what happened.

It would only rain from 9:00 am to 10:00 am and from 2:00 pm and 3:00 pm. It would never rain on weekends.

Christmas decorations would stay up year round.

Everyone would have to carry an update priority list with them at all times so that anyone could see where they are on the list at any time.

Just as there are drinks that make you drunk when you want to be, there would be drinks to make you sober when you need to be.

S*E*X wouldn’t be a four letter word . . . oh wait . . . it isn’t. Well then people would realize it.

Everyone would look just the same to other people as they look to themselves.

Halloween costumes would always be acceptable year round.

Telling someone that you love them wouldn’t be frightening.

Everyone would need to have a plant, and keep it alive for a year before being allowed to have a child.

Wins and losses would be acceptable again in children’s sports.

Brothers and sisters would always be your best friends.

Just like we can buy beer by the keg, we could buy liquor by the barrel.

Staplers would never run out of staples.

I would get to see one more New Years Eve.

My Journal 184

Just a couple of things . . . . .

I mentioned I was a part of the bussing project our government once installed. The best part of it all wasn’t that only about 6 Anglo kids actually were too poor to move away and were actually bussed. Nope, it was that in the ultimate wisdom of the governing bodies they opened the predominantly white schools one-day before the predominantly black schools. So the six of us actually got to see how poorly the black kids that had been bussed to the white school were treated.

And so did all the kids at the school I was now going to attend.

BRILLIANT!

So on my first day we were living targets. And of course it wasn’t too long before I was in a situation. One of the larger kids squared off with me in the hallway. I had to defend myself, so we fought. Most school fights only last a matter of seconds before one of the two, or both tire out; or a teacher steps in and breaks it up. But not in this school. When a fight broke out the teachers locked themselves in their rooms and just hoped someone called the cops. But this was way before cell phones, so the cops seldom came.

I wasn’t about to quit fighting due to being tired, and I wouldn’t lose. In my opinion, once I went down every other kid that was in the area would jump me. So I kept fighting. The fight lasted about 30 minutes, which is comparable to a professional heavy weight fight. It ended as we both stood there facing each other, too tired to throw one more punch and hoping the other guy felt the same way.

Two interesting things came of this fight. One was that the guy became my best friend. It’s odd how that happens, but it wasn’t the only time. He even told me once that he too was scared to death. Not of me, but of losing. He said if he lost a fight to the new "white" kid his friends would kill him.

So I had kept fighting to keep his friends from killing me now while he kept fighting to keep his friends from killing him later. Irony at it’s best.

The second interesting thing that happened, and of course what has led me to take a break from my vacation to write this down, was a comment he made to me months later. It was after school and he allowed me to play some basketball with him. We actually were having fun. In the middle of the game he stopped, looked my way, and said:

"I sure wish you weren’t white!"

I got his point and I am sure that you did too. It was simple. But as I remember it today it seems prolific.

You see, people can change a lot if they want to in an effort to build or keep a relationship. But just as I couldn’t change my skin color, there are some things that some people can’t or won’t change for anyone.

I only have a few friends. I only pick the best of the best with which to associate. I will do absolutely anything in my power for my friends. And I truly still believe that I don’t ask for much in return. You know . . . my three rules . . . blah, blah!

When I pick a friend with which to share, I guess I just expect that they don’t have to try to follow my rules. If they are a friend it just sort of happens. So when someone doesn’t play along I just figured that they wouldn’t change, so obviously they didn’t want a relationship as much as I do. So I would simply disappear from their life.

But now I tend to believe that there are times that people CAN’T change. Maybe they want to change and maybe they don’t. But regardless, they can’t change. It’s like me changing my skin color, it can’t happen.

My dilemma now is what to do. If I like someone and I want him or her in my life, I stay in touch, I do the typical things that one does when they like someone. I always felt that at some point my charm and friendship would change the "won’t" into a "will". But if they "can’t" change then it’s a whole new scenario. I get frustrated.

I will never get what I want out of the relationship because they can’t change their color, metaphorically speaking. Should I give up the moment I realize that it’s a case of can’t and not won’t? I have a right to need or want something from a relationship too, right?

This quandary has been at the root of my soul for about a week now. Yet tonight I finally realized that if someone genuinely wants a relationship, and there is something that they can’t change; then they could play basketball.

Again, metaphorically speaking.

If someone cares enough, yet can’t be one thing I need, then they could do something else to offset it . . . . if they WANT to. That is what a friend would do. And if they don’t try . . . .

Well, that makes it REAL simple. If you can’t change your color, and you won’t play basketball . . . then I need to find someone that will.

Ok, I started this by saying "Just a couple of things". This was just the first.

A story popped into my head again. It’s one of those that hopefully will make you think. Oh, and zero sex. (Sorry Lovelygirl and HMPOA) I will finish it tonight so email, text or call if you want to read it.

BEST OF #090, FEBRUARY 2011

Aries Males

An Aries man is full of surprises and excitement and hates monotony and dullness in life. Romance with him will be like a roller coaster ride, where you don't get even a single moment to think and brood. However, it's better not to expect him to understand that you need some security every now and then. Consistency is something that does not gel well with his characteristics profile. The love of an Aries male will warm you with passion one minute and the very next minute, you may feel as if you are sitting in the North Pole.

Don't ever be rude to him. He will be very hurt, mentally vanish from your life, and will turn into the coldest person on this earth. You will have to start from the scratch again, to get back the comfort level you once shared. He is highly energetic and always full of creative ideas. You will have to keep up with his energy levels and are bound to get tired in the process, at least mentally. An Aries guy will always remain young at heart, even when he gets 90 years old. Slow moves make him impatient. He is one of those who always move ahead of others, boldly and confidently.

He is generous in the matters of time and money, is full of compassion and always tries to cheer the people around him. However, just like a baby, he can get very irritated, inconsiderate and difficult when his needs are not met or get delayed for too long. Negativity annoys him and ignoring him drives him away. When an Aries male falls in love, he becomes extremely dedicated towards it. If the commitment fails to develop into a successful relationship, he will try his best to salvage it and make it work again. Still, if it breaks up, he will brood over it for some time.

Then, the sun will again shine for him and he will fall in love again, with the same fierce devotion and loyalty. An Aries man believes in true love and will constantly be in search of it, though it may require mending his heart numerous times in the process. He will be very passionate in love and you will never get the chance to complain about the lack of romance, passion and sex. Right from poetry to candlelight dinners, to making spontaneous love you will be treated to anything and everything. He is not the one to hold back anything, especially in love.

It is advisable that you don't hold back your emotions. An Aries guy is very expressive and will expect the same from you. Remember to show that you love him and care for him. You must also learn to behave like the heroine in novels and storybooks. When in love, he is faithful to a fault and way too honest and idealistic to fool you. He was not born to indulge in things like promiscuity or even harmless flirtations. However, if you are not able to cope up with his constant need for enthusiasm and romance, he may try to look somewhere else.

An Aries man will never start another affair behind your back. He is one of those who first end old relationships and then move on to the next one. Even before something like this happens, he will let you know that things are not going as smooth as they were. He will try to make things work. Still, if situation doesn't improve or you do not do anything to improve it, he will decide to move on. The key to lasting love is always in your hands. Keep the romance alive and he will never even look at the hottest babe in the block.

If you are trying to get an Aries male interested in you, play hard to get. He loves challenges and will soon be running after you. Don't make the first move or you will lose him forever. He likes to lead in case of love also. However, do not try the jealousy invoking tricks shown in the movies. Forget actual flirting, even a teasing look at another man will make him go thousand miles away from you. He is extremely possessive and exceedingly jealous. An Aries man will want to be your first priority and cannot tolerate being sidelined for anyone else. He wants you to trust him blindly, but he won't do the same for you.

He wants his freedom and doesn't like being tied down. That's the way he is, take it or leave it. However, you know it's impossible to leave him. He is so loyal, caring, loving, charming, kind and affectionate. There are some Aries men who appear very quiet, but inside, they are as lively and full of life as any other male of this zodiac. Just give them some time and they will soon be their usual Aries self. Aries man is rebellious at heart and loves to go against the conventions. He needs to learn virtues like humility and modesty.

The learning process may hurt him and then, he will rush to you to be reassured. Remember to build his bruised ego once again or he will be very hurt. If you want to be with him forever, learn to manage his damaged confidence and show total belief in him. Never ever take the side of someone who is against him, even when he is wrong. You have to love what he loves and hate what he hates. For an Aries man, this is what true love and devotion means. He will give all this to you and expect the same in return.

If he is angry with you, there is no reason to worry for any damage to your relationship. It is his passivity you need to be afraid of. When he is quiet of not communicating is when you are in serious trouble. His anger may result in some very harsh and rude words, but it won't last long. He will usually be the first one to say sorry after a fight and will expect you to forgive and forget. You should know that he never meant what he said in anger. An Aries man will always be there for you, to take care of you. However, he will never curb your freedom. He always dominates the house and won't tolerate constant nagging. But then, he is that guy who will romance with you for eternity!

Interesting Things About the Aries Man in Love

Aries men are the best lovers and the most exciting people to have a relationship with. The Aries men are known to keep their word in relationships and are passionate about it. A relationship with an Aries man would be full of happiness and excitement as they are full of energy and enthusiasm. Though the Aries men are very romantic and caring by nature, they prefer to have a relationship with a woman who is confident, independent and smart. An Aries man in love can be described as a package full of surprises and entertainment. You will definitely feel that an Aries man always has something new to offer you every time you meet him. These men are very firm and they fully believe in the power of love and relationships. Aries men in love can also be unpredictable and VERY confusing at times. You will not understand what is in their mind and what they expect from you on some occasions. Such is the impossibility of the characteristics of Aries male.

Another thing to be noted about an Aries man in love is that he does not like it when someone breaks his trust. He strictly dislikes dishonest women and it would be almost impossible for you to get back the comfort level, you once shared with him, if you break his trust in any way. The Aries man in love is believed to be outgoing, courageous and confident to voice his opinions. He may give you some of the best gifts which you did not actually expect. He is not the one who will keep his thoughts and feeling to himself, but will voice his opinions when needed. The Aries man also loves to enjoy his own space and does not approve of it when someone interferes in his matters constantly.

There is a possibility that an Aries man would end the relationship if he discovers that his partner does not care for him and give him the attention he deserves. Again, NEVER ignore the Aries male, he has to be the priority. Another thing about most of the Aries men is that they do not get heartbroken even if they fail in one relationship. Unlike other people, they do not lose their faith over love and have a firm belief that they will definitely get the kind of person they are looking for. Thus, the approach of the Aries men in relationship and love can be called as an optimistic or a positive one.

An Aries man in love will make all the decisions in favor of his woman and also any other family members. He will support his woman in each and every thing ranging from household chores to her career. An Aries man in love will never come in as an obstacle in the progress of his woman; they are actually a great mentor and will help drive your career. However, such men can be moody and may not interact with you if you are rude or impolite to them. An Aries man in love is very loyal and you can trust him in all aspects of life.

A relationship with an Aries man can be financially, romantically and sexually successful if you can learn to understand him well and give him the deserved attention. Best of luck!

BEST OF #038, 10/22/10

I am part Cherokee Indian. I have enough Cherokee in me that I was able to register as a Cherokee, but I am the last of the generation that will be able to do this. My Great-Grandmother was Cherokee, which is who I get it from. Last night was a special night in Cherokee lore and I would like to share it with you. But first, the story of my family.

All of this has been told to me. I will share the authors at the end. But as everything I have told you before I know to be true, I want to prefaces this by letting you know that this is all hear-say. But it was shared by several people, and the story was the same each time.

My great-grandmother was named White Swan. I am sure in your history class you have heard of the “trail of tears”. This was where they moved the Cherokee tribe from up north to points all over the south, while hoping that they all died along the way. White Swan’s clan ended up settling north of Seguin and south of San Marcos. Her name was chosen by her mother, who had visited the San Marcos River. Swans dot this river to this day, but it was the first swans her mother had ever seen. It was so beautiful that she chose this name for her first daughter.

During this same time, my great-grandfather was a Texas Ranger and the Sheriff of Seguin. I was told he had several “claims of fame”, but he was known for two important facts. One, he wouldn’t hang men. If you broke the law, and were convicted, he would make you spend your time helping the family you hurt. So if a man were convicted of murder, my great grandfather would take him to the family of the man he killed and he would have to perform the deceased work for the rest of his life.

Also, he was known as a fairly fast draw, but more than that; very accurate with a handgun. Supposedly he never missed. I recall my father teaching me and my brother weapons and constantly saying, “We never miss”. I guess that it is genetic. Actually he became sort of a folk hero for his actions as Sheriff. I have seen his picture in the Seguin city hall as recent as a year ago. I understand he is also in the Texas Ranger Hall of fame (No, not the baseball team).

One day, my GGF was paid a visit. A man rode into town to inform him that the “Hole in the Wall” gang was heading through Texas, and would be passing right through Seguin. I am sure you’ve seen the movie, “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”. Well they were the leaders of this “Hole in the Wall Gang”. Of course in the movie Robert Redford and Paul Newman made these two characters seem cute, funny, and great guys to hang out with. But in reality they were thieves, rapists and murders.

My GGF was not going to allow this to happen. So he organized a group of men and planned an ambush just north of Seguin. He figured he would just kill them somewhere on the trail, and not worry about them stealing, raping and killing in Seguin. But his plan began to unravel soon after this. He had met a Cherokee hunter several years ago. Now the Cherokee and the settlers didn’t coexist well. So having a Cherokee friend was back then like being labeled a pervert today. So their friendship was kept private.

But they had met hunting deer several years earlier. They didn’t hit it off well at first, but when they ran into each other at the same place a year later they began to admire each other, and became good friends. He had taken a big risk coming into Seguin to speak to my GGF. He warned him that the Cherokee warriors were planning an attack on the same gang, as they didn’t want their women raped by the devils.

This news concerned my GGF. He didn’t want simultaneous attacks because the Cherokee may mistake his men for the gang’s men. It would create confusion. And he knew that the Cherokee wouldn’t be deterred. So he decided to move his attack farther north, beyond the Cherokee camp. He thought that by doing this he could mount his own ambush before the gang reached the Cherokee land.

But then another problem arose. The men he had organized found out that he was moving the ambush to help the Cherokee. No one liked the Cherokee and much less would help them. Many arguments ensued, but in the end it was determined that the men helping my GGF would not set up north of the Cherokee land.

So my GGF decided to face Butch Cassidy, the Sundance Kid, and the remaining 10 members of the hole in the wall gang alone. He figured an ambush of one man on twelve was ridiculous. So he put on his best church suit (In case he died) his white hat, and rode north of the Cherokee land where he stood alone on the road awaiting the dreaded bad guys.

I am told that when the gang came upon my GGF, he was standing in the middle of the trail with his jacked pulled behind his revolver. He also had a double barrel shotgun in his other hand, but lying on the top of his shoulder. Oh, and a big wad of tobacco in his mouth. When the gang got within ear shot of him he informed them that they would not be allowed to pass. He gave them directions to an alternate trail running about 50 miles west of Seguin.

Apparently Butch hadn’t heard of my GGF’s reputation. He just laughed. Also, Butch and Sundance were the leaders, but I was told that they were not the fastest guns or the deadliest. One of their gang, William Matthew Carver, was their shooter and he was fast. Sundance told Carver to dismount and draw against my GGF. My GGF did warn him one more time I am told, but Carver drew and fired faster than my GGF, but he missed. My GGF fired a split second later, and never misses. He hit Carver in the leg and dropped him.

At this point I am told that my GGF repeated the directions. Apparently Carver went for his pistol again, and my GGF shot him through the wrist. Then another member of the gang went for their pistol also. My GGF lowered his shotgun and made a comment about blowing his horses head through the man’s stomach.

Sundance stepped off his horse, helped Carver onto his horse, and they took the direction my GGF had given them. I understand that this gang was heading to Mexico, but they dropped Carver off in San Antonio for medical help. He never regained complete use of his hand, but he was able to walk again. He ended up enjoying San Antonio so much that he decided to stay there. He never rejoined the gang. He married a Mexican woman and started a family (Careful, foreshadowing)

While all this was going on, three Cherokee warriors were watching from a field nearby. After the gang left they approached my GGF to thank him for making the gang leave. The Cherokee were so thankful that they invited him to a celebration. Apparently my GGF is just like me, after a good fight you need a good party. So my GGF went to the celebration.

This is where he met White Swan, my GGM. Apparently he was attracted to her immediately. Men in our family tend to ignore most relationships, but when we finally see THE ONE, well we just sort of go crazy until we get what we want. My GGM had no interest in my GGF. She told him this many times, as did the tribal council. No one wanted my GGF around White Swan. But he wouldn’t give up. For months he rode out to the land twice a week just to try to see her. For months the tribe stopped him.

MY GGM began to become impressed with his persistence. She told her mother that any man brave enough to stand up to 12 armed devils was a powerful man. And any many that would put up with all the rejections the tribe had used, but still kept trying was a good and decent man. My GGM told her mother that she would consider him.

This created problems. First, the Cherokee don’t believe in love (Sound familiar?) and don’t even have a word for it. A marriage is arranged based on skills and to produce offspring, period. Second, my GGM had been promised to Gray Bear, the leader of the warrior section of the tribe. Third, Cherokee’s didn’t mix. The Cherokee was very organized and meticulous, and they feared that breeding outside of the tribe would dilute their persona.

But, my GGM went to the council anyway. I am told that she didn’t ask to marry my GGF, she DEMANDED it. She was refused permission, so she ran off and found my GGF. He was a man of dignity, so he returned her to the tribe. Upon seeing her dedication to this request, and knowing that my GGF had turned back the devils, and had returned their daughter; they decided to give my GGF a chance to gain a Cherokee name.

Basically, back then all you had to do was be approved by the council and given a Cherokee name. A Cherokee had to present you to the tribe. Once accepted, you became a u-we-tsi-dv-hi (Son of another). The person that presents you could only present one person a lifetime, they had to pick your name, they had to basically be a servant to the person they were bringing in to assure the tribe that this person was worthy, and the ceremony had to be held during the fall “Sky of arrows” display.

The Cherokee were very intelligent. They knew that once a year, in late October, the sky lit up with flaming arrows. They believed that these were the arrows of their fore fathers, letting them know that all is well. We know that each October the earth travels though the tail of Haley’s comet, and what we see is the meteors burning up in our atmosphere. But to the Cherokee was the most sacred night.

The council did not want my GGF in the tribe, but my GGM was a VERY DEMANDING lady. So the council came up with some tests that my GGF had to pass. This was in late September, so time was running out before the Sky of Arrows arrived. These tests were designed to be physical, mental and emotional; and created so that my GGF could not possibly pass them all. But our family is very persistent and never learned how to quit, especially when it comes to that one special woman. So he not only passed EVERY test, he passed them so significantly that he actually impressed the council.

He was given his name and allowed to marry my GGM. This is how I came to be.

So, if anyone ever asks if they can give you a Cherokee name it is a HUGE honor; and the greatest honor a Cherokee can bestow. It can only be given by that person one time in a lifetime. It is for an eternity. It must be done on the night of the Sky of Arrows. They must stand facing the sky and focus on a single arrow. Once done, the Cherokee is responsible for the life of the individual forever. The Cherokee basically becomes a slave to the person they present. It is a big deal to the Cherokee. It should be consider the greatest honor of respect a Cherokee can give to someone.

OK, part of this story was told to me by my grandfather. We were very close. He was the one who made me read the entire bible, and would make me discuss passages to ensure I had a good understanding. He taught me to think, and not to learn. He wanted me to be independent in thought. He also shared Cherokee rituals with me. He insisted that these rituals were real, and that someday in a vision quest I would hear from my Great-grandmother. His grandmother told him the part of the story about joining the tribe.

The part about facing the “Hole in the Wall” gang was told to me by the parents of one of my best childhood friends, Matt Carver. He was the great grandson of William Matthew Carver, a member of the “Hole in the Wall” gang. Carver told Matt’s father about the incident on the trail before Matt and I ever met. So that part of the story came from the man my GGF shot.

I am responsible for someone.

Have a fantastic week, I will definitely miss you.

BEST OF #033, 10/18/10

First I just looked up and saw that this is Journal #033. Wow, how time flies. Let me ask you, when I sent my first Journal, how many of you thought you would see #33? Well, my beautiful and sexy bitches (Just kidding), my goal is 999. I guess we will see.

Second, will someone make up a dummy account and be my follower? It’s lonely here, late at night, listening to Miles Davis, sipping Cognac . . .

Ok, this one will be complicated. I have trained you to understand that when I speak to you I am talking about  . . . what?

Class?

Bueller?

Bueller?

I am talking about ALL Texas men, right? Damn you should take notes! Ok, I know that when you read these “tidbits” that you skim through all the advice because you THINK you know men better than me. You probably just look for the one or two INCREDIBLY humorous sidebars I throw in and move on. Well THIS TIME pay attention.

This time I will discuss my personal take on a specific event we have all experienced. Again, this is not how ALL MEN will think because this is one area where I have drifted off of the path. Yup, believe it or not I am unique. And even though I follow the “Guy Code”, I do take liberties from time to time . . . and this is one of them.

FIRST DATES

We have all had at least one, right? You see I have no idea what a woman goes through before a first date with someone they are thrilled to be going out. But even I have actually been enthralled with a woman or two up to the point where I actually asked them out because I REALLY wanted to get to know them. And I can tell you this, from my standpoint, there is no better feeling in the world then the hour before the first date with someone you like.

Excitement – Nervousness – Uncertainty – Thrill – Happiness – Indecisions – Anxiety!

Yup, these are all there. So I will think back to a special lady that I asked out because I wanted to see if anything was there. Now keep in mind that I was once not quite as romantically inclined as I am today. Most of the time I didn’t necessarily ask a girl out, I instructed her as to when she needed to be ready, how she should be dressed, what we would do together, and what she was expected to do. Yes, I was a pig. But believe it or not, back then, NO ONE ever questioned me and they always said YES!

But that is not the first dates I am speaking about. Actually, doing that so many times sort of made me into what I am today. I guess when I look back at how I “used” those girls I really feel bad. I doubt any of them were scarred for life or anything. I mean they could have said no. Of course if you wanted to be “popular” you had better say yes. Anyway, these are not those dates and I am not that person.

So, on this one date in question, I thought this chick was cute, sexy, and funny. What an incredible mix. So I tracked down her phone number (Nope, she didn’t give it to me because she had no idea I was interested . . . I am VERY good at that). It was early evening and I decided that this was the time to call. The thought of calling was nerve racking. I actually wrote down the first line I would use when she answered, just in case my mind went blank.

Oh, and then I even did a flowchart of responses. You know, like a programmer’s flow chart. IF she said this THEN I would say that; but IF she said that instead THEN I would only say this. I had about 4 pages in my flowchart. I definitely wanted to control the conversation.

Yet the moment she said “hello” everything went blank. Heck, I couldn’t even read my words anymore. It was probably only about a second or two of silence after she answered before I finally spoke, but it my world it lasted about 20 years. Holy crap, I nearly crapped on myself.

Anyway, I finally spoke. She didn’t seem impressed. I later found out that she had a tip that I would be calling and she was doing your typical “woman” thing by being coy and appearing uninterested. Ladies, screw that! I almost gave up, and most males would have at that point. But I was determined, and I hung in there. But here’s a hint for you, If you like me then tell me. It’s actually one of my three rules.

People have a LOT of requirements for being in a relationship with someone, be it a romantic relationship, a work relationship, or simply a friendly relationship. But me, I have only three rules. And they really are simple.

·          Like me. I really don’t care how you show it, but saying it makes life a lot easier. FYI, guys either like or don’t like. It is really that simple. Females seem to have a thousand different levels of like, and I never really know what level I am on. So clueing me in occasionally would be nice.

·          Make time for me. I don’t need to see you ever day, but I need face to face contact or something. If you don’t ever have time for me, then the relationship is over. Oh, by the way, IGNORING me is the fastest way to prove to me that you have no time for me.

·          Be honest. We’ve discussed this before in detail, so I won’t go over it again. But this is a BIG rule.

I need to get back to my discussion.

So I finally got the words out and her response was “sure”. SURE? I bust a gut to build up the courage to ask you out and all you can say is “sure”? Do you know how deflating it was when I heard that? At that moment I didn’t want to go out at all. SURE? Dang, what a horrible response. So now I have asked, and I assume that SURE means I have to take her out, but damn!!!!

SURE??? Don’t ever just say “sure”.

I got past it finally, but the conversation ended immediately. I was torn for the next few days. I had committed to taking this chick out, and I did find her to be incredible. But that one word response made me want to go back to just calling up someone and saying, “Hey, let’s go get drunk and screw”.

I wore old jeans and a pullover shirt. I would have worn Dockers or dress jeans and a button down shirt if she had said yes instead. I had planned on taking her to a quaint and hidden little Italian Restaurant, but now I was going to take her to McDonalds. I’m kidding, but she getting Chili’s instead. Hey, if she didn’t want to be there enough to just say yes then she gets something less that the best.

But when she opened her door, ALL of that didn’t matter. She looked so damn amazing. And I don’t mean sexually. She looked good, better than I had ever seen or imagined. And she smiled. Ladies, smile at me and I will do ANYTHING that you ask.

She was beautiful. To this day I can remember exactly what she had on, how she smelled, what she did, everything. It was the grandest introduction I had ever had.

If only I could have talked.

I was lost. I couldn’t bring my lips to move. I stood there for an eternity drooling like a dog. How freakin’ embarrassing. But she was cool. She reached out, took my hand in hers, and said, “Are you ready to go?”

Oh, one more note about me. If you take my hand I am yours. I love touching and public displays of caring, and I love holding hands. So by taking my hand the world cleared up quickly.

My brain did come back on again. We did go to the Italian Restaurant. We did have a great time. There was no more nervousness, uncertainty or indecisions. It was all excitement and happiness. We laughed and we talked. She touched my hands several times during the meal. It was romantic and pleasant. Wow.

We did not have sex. By the end of the evening I sort of could tell that I was in if I tried. But I didn’t. I don’t have sex on a first date often. (God, that sounds “girlee”) It’s true. If I do have sex on a first date then I can assure you that it’s not about the sex. If I have sex on a first date it is because I believe I have bonded in some way with the lady.

Anyway, I never asked her out again. I did find out the next day that she actually broke one of my rules on the first date. She wasn’t honest about something. Now if we had been dating for a while then I probably would have gone to her and said “Hey, what the heck?” But since it was done on a first date then I felt it was important enough to end the relationship. I never told her that. I usually don’t.

I did run into her again about two months later. She did ask me why I never asked her out again too. But at that moment she had become one of the “sluts”, so I lied to her. I figured if she isn’t honest with me then I won’t be honest with her.

Crap, I digress again.

Look the bottom line is I LOVE FIRST DATES! They are exciting, fun, nerve wracking, and so on. But when I think about it, regardless of the outcome, that moment of asking for a date and gaining acceptance is the most uplifting experience in life. I have run out of tunnels in front of THOUSANDS of people screaming my name. For an aggressive “alpha male” like me that is the top of the world. But I will say that hearing a lady say “yes” sends more excitement through my body than anything else I have ever done.

And yes, I have had a FIRST DATE with most of you. And each time my heart went “pitter patter”. J

My Journal 183

TGIF! And I get a weekend off . . . . WooHoo!

Oh, annnnnnnnnnd I get next week off too. If I get a chance I will set up some of my “Best of” Journals to post next week. If not, then don’t panic. I am alive somewhere doing something bad.

Hehehehehehe

Martel – You are a good person and obviously attractive. Things will work out for you and someday you will look upon this week as a positive turn in your life. I swear it!

Lovelygirl – SUPER nice pics! You are definitely keeping up the reputation of my “Big Boob Club”.

Sunshine – Damn girl, we’ve chatted so much this week I’m missing you dearly again! Not sure what in your life changed, but I’ll take it . . . . until it changes back again I guess?!?!?!

Banana-Rama – Hope your weekend with Dink goes just as you hope! Remember my lessons. J

HMPOA – Have you told everyone that you now have four (count them . . . . four) grandkids? You are DEFINITELY the hottest grandma I know!!!!!

Ok, now let’s get down (pun intended) to business.

With my time off I plan to . . .

·          Take a weekend road trip.

·          Go camping for a few days.

·          Watch the Texans & Cowboys games.

·          Fix a bunch of stuff.

·          Clean my car inside and out, and then wax it and admire it.

·          Buy new tires.

·          Groom all three dogs.

·          Plant new shrubs.

·          Clean the pool.

·          Spend most evenings in the hot tub sipping wine.

·          Avoid trouble, broken bones and lacerations.

·          Visit friends.

·          Maybe cut my hair, it’s almost to my shoulders now.

·          NOT shave.

·          Watch ROCKY!

·          Maybe visit a football field?

·          Smoke some shit (food, not drugs)

·          Hopefully hear from each of you!!!!!

Have a SUPER weekend, miss me a little, think about me a lot, and stay out of trouble.

Adios!!!