My Journal 167

Sex!

Yup, that’s today’s topic. I gather there is some taboo about discussing sex. But honestly isn’t it the one thing with which we all probably are very familiar?

I have one friend that views sex as something special, and you should save it for that special person.

I can see that logic. But my reasoning is probably very different than hers. I think I would enjoy being in a long term relationship with a lady that had ONLY been with me. Agreed, the odds of that happening are negligible. But I think I would like it. Shoot, I could mold her from scratch into exactly what I want sexually. Now that would be magnificent.

I’ve said this before, but in tune with this friend’s logic I will repeat my position. If I am on a first date, and it’s progressing nicely, I will make a move. I do not get sex on every first date, but I will say that every time I decide to make my move I do succeed. But here is the wrinkle about me. If I succeed, I usually have problems maintaining a long term relationship with that person.

I guess my logic is that is I can get into your panties on the first date, then I assume someone else could also. So to have a long term relationship I assume that this girl would be banging other guys on a regular basis. Faithfulness would be a lost cause. So, I then believe that I can go get some as well. In effect, these actions could ruin a relationship.

If a girl makes me wait, well to be honest her chances for a second date may go down. But if we do get together again, I have a belief that if she had drinks after work with another guy while we were dating, that she wouldn’t be banging that guy as easily. It actually gives me a greater degree of trust and adds to the potential success of a long term relationship.

Now, if you assume that I am a typical guy; then this friend’s logic has some credence. It may sound “old fashion”, but it may work. I guess it depends on your personal goals. Are you looking for a “piece of ass” or something more?

I have another friend that views sex simply as pleasure, like watching a good movie.

I can see that logic as well. Sex is fun! Sex can be simply about pleasure, or “getting off”. Thus the success of this new arrangement titled Friends with Benefits. Her logic is that sex is just a physical event with no emotions at all.

But at the same time, what if I just screw you for fun and at some point I find out that you have several qualities that I cherish. I may find myself moving from a physical action to an emotional action unintentionally. If this happens then I begin to wonder how many physical sexual relationships you currently have, and this begins to create challenges. Also, if it has in fact become emotional to me I would then want it to be emotional for you. How do you broach that discussion?

Additionally, if you are doing it just for fun then it becomes a contest over who gets pleasured first or at all. In this type of a relationship I would be thinking that if it’s for fun then I want it my way. My partner may have the same logic. Eventually the relationship dissolves due to lack of satisfaction. And there is a good chance that both people could become angry at some point.

I don’t have an answer. How you view sex is completely up to you. I’m just here to bring the shit to the surface so it can be openly discussed. But to me the perfect relationship would be to meet someone special, get the sex out of the way on the first date, and then build the trust and live happily ever-after.