It is a crowded bar. You are with our friends, enjoying some libations and music. A male walks up to you and asks, “Hi, my name is XXXXXX. Do you want to go somewhere and have sex?”
I know that we’ve already discussed the inequities between what the females can ask and what the males can ask. But it’s my page so we can revisit anything I want.
I would feel extremely confident that the answer to the above question would be more physical than verbal. You might shout some obscenities but more than likely the guy would be slapped or punched. Well, maybe a few of you would say yes; but let’s assume we are dealing with girls that have their sex drive in check.
I believe that there are acceptable questions that can be asked in this situation. So let’s look at some of these and do a comparison.
“Would you like a drink?”
Ok, that is a simple and basic question that we should all agree would be acceptable. But let us all be honest here. Does anyone believe that the guy asking this question REALLY just wants you to have more fluids? Granted, he could be a medical student and may have observed that in the midst of your dancing and flirting you could have lost some fluids. He may simply want to hydrate you for your own health. But short of this scenario, he is attempting to get in your good graces – so he can charm you – so he can sit close to you – so he can seduce you – AND so he can have sex with you.
If we all know that this is the MASTER PLAN; then why go through the hassle of disguising the intent, creating deception, and basically having to sit up and beg?
“Would you like to dance?”
Ok, tell me the difference between dancing and having sex. Albeit one you do with your clothes on and one you probably do with no clothes on, you could dance naked or have sex with clothes on. (Yes, I’ve done both). Aside from that, you are alone with the guy – his hands are on you – you are sharing sweat – you are moving in a rhythmic manner – and you are getting physical pleasure. And don’t tell me, “Oh, but we are not kissing.” Seriously, I’ve had more sex where there never was a kiss than when there was kissing.
I suggest to you that dancing is a half step away from having sex. So how many times have you punched a guy for asking you to dance?
I can come up with a few more, but I hope I’ve made my point. As a woman why don’t you bring this up at your next all woman conferences? Suggest that in the future all women agree that making us poor and defenseless males jump through hoops just to get a piece of tail has continued for long enough.
And being me, from now on I will risk the slap to the face. If I see a hot chick, and I want sex, I’ll just ask for it right up front.
[GULP]
Ok, speaking of dancing . . . .
You have all heard that sports used to be my life, and I was better than average at most. You have also heard that I used to enjoy boxing / cage fighting until my head injuries. And some of you know about my past life. But here is something new.
I love to dance.
When I was a child my mom had me take piano lessons, singing lessons and dance lessons. As a child I took ballroom dancing and modern dance (Modern dance being back in the sixties). Out of this class I was asked to audition for the UP WITH PEOPLE tour. This was a group of grade school kids that would travel across Texas and put on singing and dance shows to raise money for children’s charities. I was selected.
I had one act where I was the lead singer. (When my voice changed I lost all my ability to carry a tune though). I was also a background dancer in four other pieces. You probably never heard of this tour, but it was big in the late sixties and early seventies.
When I had my leg destroyed I was placed in a rehab program. My mom decided that this program would strengthen my leg, but I needed something to get my balance and agility back. So she signed me up for ballet.
Stop laughing!
In High School I entered a few ballroom dance contests and place in the top three each time. Then came college, where I met my dance partner. We would enter every dance contest we could find. As I am writing this I am struggling to remember her name. Crap, we studied together, practiced together, danced together, and “boinked” together for a semester; but I can’t remember her name.
Oh well, if I remember correctly we won seven Disco Dance contests and four Country and Western Dance contests. Even when we weren’t competing, we both loved dancing so we would go out about twice a week. To this day I still have this urge to dance.
Thinking about it, I have danced with most of you at one time or another. I remember about a year ago I asked one of you to go C&W dancing to a place up north of town. I never got a response. I ended up going to a Latin club with LL that night. They were doing some Latin / Salsa step that I had never done before. I asked LL to show me and teach me, but I was laughed off of the floor. She told me I was useless.
Ha! So I grabbed her and went to the club I wanted to go to in the first place. And yup, they had a Country and Western Dance contest that night. Now LL had never two stepped before in her life, but I was going to prove to her that I can teach anyone to dance. We had two “practice” spins, and we pretty much sucked. But when the pressure was on, I told LL to just hang on to me and don’t fall, I’d do the rest.
We got third place. And LL wasn’t too bad considering it was her first time. I still got it!
Hopefully now, if I ask you to dance, you will accept. I will not embarrass anyone.
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