So I just heard from my baby Suze. She was a bit upset with me, I could tell. But I didn’t find out what I did to upset her before she apparently was over it. At some point during the conversation I mentioned that I would pray for her. Her reply was, “Sure, right?!?!”
I do pray, and I pray for all of you each night. So, to prove it to you, and since I have the same basic structure each night; I will now share my typical prayer with you.
[Yes, EVERY night I do this]
Dear Lord:
It’s me again. I know you are really busy with all the troubles in the world, and all the serious problems that people have, but if you get a moment there’s a few things I’d like you to keep an eye on for me while I’m away.
Bless my family and keep them free from all harm. Allow anything bad that is scheduled to happen to them, to happen to me instead. Let my boys flourish and enjoy their lives. Let them join you many years from now after enjoying a full and successful life, and let them never have to cope with the feelings of taking another person’s life.
Bless my folks and my Mom-In-Law. I realize that they are old, but they are so full of life and they have so much more to offer to their grandson’s. Thank you for letting them mold me into the person that I am today.
Help my friends to understand my love for them. They may get mad at me for being opinionated and outspoken, but I don’t judge people and I only speak out to someone that I love. Let them see themselves as I see them, let them know I only want what is best for them and help them to understand that they are loved.
Allow me to be there, wherever there is, when I am needed. Allow me to remain strong, fast and smart so I can always help my friends out of any trouble they may find. Allow me to endure any and all pain and sorrow to make it to them when needed. And give my friends the confidence to call me when they are in trouble, and to trust that I will solve the problem.
Bless Araceli, Kathryn, and Rebecca. They each have wandered in and out of my life, and I don’t get to see them or speak to them as often as I wished. So please let them know I am here, ready to do whatever they need.
Bless my wonderful friend Evelyn. Forgive both of us for allowing a fight to come between us. Help me to understand the scope of her love and how she can’t live knowing I am in pain. And help her to understand that I can’t be told that someone is deceitful, rude, and a user of people she calls friends. I had to trust, and I was willing to risk all the pain she put me through.
And if you could, let her know that I trust her.
Bless and watch over my sexy Briana. She is the “one that got away” but she is going to a better place. She’s a good girl, and truly the most beautiful, funniest, sexiest, brightest, and fun girl I ever met. She’s a bit lost at times, so help her find her way. Allow her to see that her past mistakes can be a learning tool to avoid mistakes in the future, and stop allowing her to use her past as an excuse for future bad choices. And don’t let her lifestyle ruin her life. Let her skate until she realizes what life really is . . . . honesty, love and respect.
And if you could, let her know I miss her . . . . and still need her.
Keep pushing my sweetheart Chandni to succeed. She already has the drive and initiative, she just needs a chance. She has the purest heart I’ve ever been around, and more natural beauty than I’ve ever seen before. Please don’t ever let anyone break that beautiful heart of hers. And thank you for letting her know just when to call me and what to say . . . . every time I need her.
And if you could, let her know I do care for her.
And keep an eye on my sweet baby sister Amanda. She’s growing up right in front of me. She is gaining confidence, and has found the love of her life. Don’t let her think about me or worry about how I am. We both already know we are there if the other needs. Just remind her that I am ALWAYS on her side. Keep all the great things heading her way.
And if you could, let her know I love her.
[This is where I would do any special prayers, like for my baby Suze]
As for me, all I ask is don’t let me die alone. I’ve spent most of my life alone; I don’t want an eternity as well.
Please bless ALL my friends, ALL my relatives, and EVERYONE else in this world.
Thank you for everything Lord, I hope I live up to your expectations. In your name I pray.
[At this point I recite the Lord’s Prayer]
That’s it, that is my nightly routine. Honest.
Luv ya ladies!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
My Journal #347 - Dating Site Humor!
I am on three dating sites. One I pay for and two are free. What I have found is that writing the “About Me” section is the hardest. You have two options on how to prepare your bio.
Option #1 is to try to sell you. In this case you don’t necessarily tell the truth about yourself you tend to say things that you believe will attract the opposite sex. You use all the current “hip” buzz words and pass yourself off as wild and adventurous. You will get a lot of replies using this method, but the quality won’t be to your liking. And even if you do find one you life, since you wrote a bio about someone else then once they meet you they will be disappointed.
Option #2 is to tell the truth about you. In this case you put it all out there including the dull and mundane stuff. If you like watching movies on a Friday night then admit it. You use YOUR words, not the generally accepted buzz words. You will get fewer replies using this option, but each reply will be suited for you. And since you told the truth you can be yourself and they won’t be disappointed.
The reason I share this is because on one of my sites it recommended someone I already knew. The page said we would be compatible. I found it funny that a computer program recommended her since we did see each other and now she avoids me like the plague. But I did read her bio to see how she presented herself.
[Yup, it was Sunshine with which I was matched]
What she wrote about herself could be true. I mean she has spoken to me about all the things she claims to enjoy. But when she told me these things her body language was that of concern. Basically I believe she was making it up. The bio does fit one of her personalities, the one that takes over regularly. But the main personality isn’t the person that she projected.
I know it sounds odd for me to believe I know more about her than she does. But usually friends know more about any friend than the person knows about themselves. It’s true. Very few people can look in the mirror and see themselves. They tend to see the person they want to be or think that they are. But seldom do they see WHO they really are.
The second thing that I found odd was that she commented that she is seriously looking for a relationship.
[Hmmmm]
When we stopped seeing each other the main reason was that she swore to me that she doesn’t do and never will do relationships. That alone wasn’t a death nail though. What was the “end all” was when I questioned if she didn’t do relationships at all or didn’t do relationships with me. She insisted that she doesn’t do relationships with anyone.
So either I was right before or she is leading a lot of probably decent guys to the slaughter . . . . like she did to me.
Oh well, in my experience my way works perfect. I’ve been on about 7 computer site dates. Every girl was what they purported to be, and I was exactly what I said I was. Every girl I’ve asked out has said yes, and every girl I’ve seen has wanted to go out again. I have been with three multiple times, and hopefully I am back on track with Mustang.
So, to any of you using dating sites; if you fib then you will fail.
[And I ask the question again, if every other woman in the world finds me irresistible; and now computer programs even show we are compatible; then WTF is wrong with her?]
My Journal #346 - Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
I know that for most of you this is the night to go act crazy, dress like a whore, or eat crap that you normally wouldn’t touch on a dare. Ok, one night a year go crazy.
I’m not a big Halloween fan. I don’t dress up, act crazy or eat the darn candy. As a matter of fact I don’t ever eat candy, or chocolate, or many desserts. I do enjoy a good horror movie though.
Anyway, enjoy yourself tonight.
Boo!
Monday, October 29, 2012
My Journal #345 - Holy Crap!
Holy Crap!!!
I am driving home from my run tonight and my phone signals me that I had an email from one of my contacts. Since I was driving I figured I’d check it when I got home.
Then I get a text from Cowgirl. She had a blind date with a 28 year old. Her message said that while she was looking at him she realized that I was sexier than the youngster. So she asked if I wanted to try again.
Holy Crap!!!!
I get home and check my email. I have the sweetest email from . . . . .
Wait for it . . . . .
Yup, MUSTANG!!!!
She too had a date. And she said she kept comparing him to me and he fell far short. And then she said the times we were alone was the best sex she has had EVER! And then she asked if we could get together again. She said I am a GREAT date (Yes she used caps too)
Holy Crap!!!!
No question about it. I replied to Cowgirl’s text and said “No Thanks”. Then I replied to Mustang’s email and said “Anytime and anywhere!!!!”
I have to admit to my friends that it feels great to have someone want to be with you.
Ok, I’m going to call my Sweet Mustang now. Wish me luck!!!
I am driving home from my run tonight and my phone signals me that I had an email from one of my contacts. Since I was driving I figured I’d check it when I got home.
Then I get a text from Cowgirl. She had a blind date with a 28 year old. Her message said that while she was looking at him she realized that I was sexier than the youngster. So she asked if I wanted to try again.
Holy Crap!!!!
I get home and check my email. I have the sweetest email from . . . . .
Wait for it . . . . .
Yup, MUSTANG!!!!
She too had a date. And she said she kept comparing him to me and he fell far short. And then she said the times we were alone was the best sex she has had EVER! And then she asked if we could get together again. She said I am a GREAT date (Yes she used caps too)
Holy Crap!!!!
No question about it. I replied to Cowgirl’s text and said “No Thanks”. Then I replied to Mustang’s email and said “Anytime and anywhere!!!!”
I have to admit to my friends that it feels great to have someone want to be with you.
Ok, I’m going to call my Sweet Mustang now. Wish me luck!!!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
RANDI
Last night I gave her my number, but forgot her name. My bad!
But she text me a picture from last night, and this is Randi!
Like I said before, I STILL GOT IT!
My Journal #344 - Not Yet . . .
I once sat on a hill covered in snow for over 50 hours. I was working and I had plenty of time, so I could wait for the proper moment and I kept telling myself . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
I’ve used that phrase a lot in my life. I was in a game once where we were down by over 20 points in the second quarter. My teammates were down and distraught. They were ready to give up. And I remember telling myself . . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
It’s a pretty clear phrase. It means exactly what it means, and there are no surrounding meanings. For example if you’re looking to start a new business, and you found a location, and you have an idea, but the cash isn’t quite there yet; then you tell yourself . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
If you hate your job and you want to move on, but it’s a tough time and you know people are counting on you; then you tell your self . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
But it some circumstances that phrase can create alternative situations. And that is where I am today.
Cowgirl is beautiful and sexy and funny and strong. She and I have so much in common it’s scary. But she wants to know about my past. It takes many years for me to share that with people. But if I do then maybe I have a chance at happiness. But I’ve only known her a few days so I still say . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
Mustang is amazing, and she’s speaking to me again. But she still won’t be with me because she believes that I was with another woman the night I was supposed to be with her. I had already told Mustang that I once had strong feelings for the woman I was with, but nothing happened. I probably should quit and move on. We’ve only known each other for a month or so. Now would be the time to leave before an attachment really forms. Yet I find myself saying . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . .
And of course there is Sunshine. I am convinced that she is through now, because she is pissed. (For what I still don’t understand but nevertheless pissed) I don’t think about her as much anymore. I avoid it when people are talking about her. I avoid places where I think she could be. I should just walk away. But we’ve known each other for several years, and I think I know her better than most of her friends. She may be worth it. So I keep finding myself saying . . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
Sometimes saying not yet makes you appear weak, or needy, or delusional, or just plain ass crazy. But I’ve really never cared what people think of me. I just want to tell to go where I’ve been, do the things I have done, experience the nightmares with which I live.
Pick any day of my life and experience it, then you have the right to call me crazy.
Or tell me to quit.
But for now it’s still real simple to me. Will I quit on these ladies?
NOT YET!
Not yet . . . .
I’ve used that phrase a lot in my life. I was in a game once where we were down by over 20 points in the second quarter. My teammates were down and distraught. They were ready to give up. And I remember telling myself . . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
It’s a pretty clear phrase. It means exactly what it means, and there are no surrounding meanings. For example if you’re looking to start a new business, and you found a location, and you have an idea, but the cash isn’t quite there yet; then you tell yourself . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
If you hate your job and you want to move on, but it’s a tough time and you know people are counting on you; then you tell your self . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
But it some circumstances that phrase can create alternative situations. And that is where I am today.
Cowgirl is beautiful and sexy and funny and strong. She and I have so much in common it’s scary. But she wants to know about my past. It takes many years for me to share that with people. But if I do then maybe I have a chance at happiness. But I’ve only known her a few days so I still say . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
Mustang is amazing, and she’s speaking to me again. But she still won’t be with me because she believes that I was with another woman the night I was supposed to be with her. I had already told Mustang that I once had strong feelings for the woman I was with, but nothing happened. I probably should quit and move on. We’ve only known each other for a month or so. Now would be the time to leave before an attachment really forms. Yet I find myself saying . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . .
And of course there is Sunshine. I am convinced that she is through now, because she is pissed. (For what I still don’t understand but nevertheless pissed) I don’t think about her as much anymore. I avoid it when people are talking about her. I avoid places where I think she could be. I should just walk away. But we’ve known each other for several years, and I think I know her better than most of her friends. She may be worth it. So I keep finding myself saying . . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
Sometimes saying not yet makes you appear weak, or needy, or delusional, or just plain ass crazy. But I’ve really never cared what people think of me. I just want to tell to go where I’ve been, do the things I have done, experience the nightmares with which I live.
Pick any day of my life and experience it, then you have the right to call me crazy.
Or tell me to quit.
But for now it’s still real simple to me. Will I quit on these ladies?
NOT YET!
My Journal #343 - One Night Stand Guy :(
How was my day you ask?
It was fucked up as usual, but with a decent ending.
I drove around town all morning getting car crap done. Then I get a text from Cowgirl. She had a great time with me, she likes me, and why can’t I just explain my past to her. Ok, if you freakin’ like me then why does it matter? We go back and forth for a while and finally I get the “Whatever” text which I now know means we are through talking.
Next up to bat . . . .
I get a text from Mustang. Now this one I was excited to get since I haven’t heard from her since my Bloody Sunday escapade. She was nice and sweet also. And she was finishing her text messages with words like “Kisses: and “Hugs”. Since we were getting along I decided to ask her out. And she said she couldn’t because she had a date.
[Fine, then why are we talking?]
I didn’t respond after that. About an hour later I got the “Whatever” text from her. Great?!?!?
And then I ended up texting Sunshine. At least she didn’t say “Whatever”, she just didn’t reply. She’s mad at me for some reason . . . . . WHATEVER!
[I do wish she would talk to me though]
So I had resigned myself to the fact that I would just build a fire, order a pizza, get drunk and watch scary movies. Then my friend Kandi called. Her and my buddy Tim were going out to a bar for Halloween and wanted me to go. I said I wasn’t interested, but they insisted.
So I meet them. We were not in costumes, but everyone else was. And damn near every chick was dressed like a hooker or whore. I mean it was nice to watch, but really . . . . all the same costume?
Tim and I make it to the bar, and a very healthy young blonde was there to assist us. She smiled at me and of course I flirted. Tim nudges me and says, “Forget it, everyone hits on her and she never flirts back”.
[Keep that in mind now . . ]
After a while Tim wanders off, so it’s me and Kandi on the deck nears a furnace thingy for heat. We are sitting close because she was cold. The next thing I know we are making out. Now Kandi and I have sort of made out before, but we agreed it would be weird to actually get together. Yet here I was, making out and feeling her up.
I got up to go to the men’s room and sort of cooled down a bit. I still feel it’s a bit weird for us to hook up. I stop at the bar for another beer and again am waited on by the same healthy lady, who is also in a hooker / whore costume. She flirts with me.
She got off at 1 and I was still at the bar. We talked for a while, I walked her to her car, and then I ended up following her home.
Yup, I got some!
So the bottom line I get from all of this is, I am great at picking up hot chicks and one night stands. But I suck at relationships.
Oh well, everyone has to be good at something.
The worst part of it all is right now all I can think about is Sunshine and how she always made me go WOW. But I think that ship has sailed.
It was fucked up as usual, but with a decent ending.
I drove around town all morning getting car crap done. Then I get a text from Cowgirl. She had a great time with me, she likes me, and why can’t I just explain my past to her. Ok, if you freakin’ like me then why does it matter? We go back and forth for a while and finally I get the “Whatever” text which I now know means we are through talking.
Next up to bat . . . .
I get a text from Mustang. Now this one I was excited to get since I haven’t heard from her since my Bloody Sunday escapade. She was nice and sweet also. And she was finishing her text messages with words like “Kisses: and “Hugs”. Since we were getting along I decided to ask her out. And she said she couldn’t because she had a date.
[Fine, then why are we talking?]
I didn’t respond after that. About an hour later I got the “Whatever” text from her. Great?!?!?
And then I ended up texting Sunshine. At least she didn’t say “Whatever”, she just didn’t reply. She’s mad at me for some reason . . . . . WHATEVER!
[I do wish she would talk to me though]
So I had resigned myself to the fact that I would just build a fire, order a pizza, get drunk and watch scary movies. Then my friend Kandi called. Her and my buddy Tim were going out to a bar for Halloween and wanted me to go. I said I wasn’t interested, but they insisted.
So I meet them. We were not in costumes, but everyone else was. And damn near every chick was dressed like a hooker or whore. I mean it was nice to watch, but really . . . . all the same costume?
Tim and I make it to the bar, and a very healthy young blonde was there to assist us. She smiled at me and of course I flirted. Tim nudges me and says, “Forget it, everyone hits on her and she never flirts back”.
[Keep that in mind now . . ]
After a while Tim wanders off, so it’s me and Kandi on the deck nears a furnace thingy for heat. We are sitting close because she was cold. The next thing I know we are making out. Now Kandi and I have sort of made out before, but we agreed it would be weird to actually get together. Yet here I was, making out and feeling her up.
I got up to go to the men’s room and sort of cooled down a bit. I still feel it’s a bit weird for us to hook up. I stop at the bar for another beer and again am waited on by the same healthy lady, who is also in a hooker / whore costume. She flirts with me.
She got off at 1 and I was still at the bar. We talked for a while, I walked her to her car, and then I ended up following her home.
Yup, I got some!
So the bottom line I get from all of this is, I am great at picking up hot chicks and one night stands. But I suck at relationships.
Oh well, everyone has to be good at something.
The worst part of it all is right now all I can think about is Sunshine and how she always made me go WOW. But I think that ship has sailed.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
My Journal #342 - My Freakin' Past
I guess my past is catching up to me.
I was with Cowgirl last night and it seemed like we were having fun. Then a girlfriend of hers showed up. Her body language was off, and then I noticed that Cowgirl’s was different as well. We had discussed going to a concert after our drinks, but she didn’t mention it last night. So when she had to leave for the concert I just said good bye.
I sent my usual “thank you for the date” text. 30 minutes later she hadn’t replied. I then sent her a text asking if I could see her again. She didn’t reply. At that point I figured that I must have done something wrong. But I stopped trying to communicate.
She called me this morning. Her ex is a cop. After she met me Thursday she asked him to run a criminal background check on me. Since he did it through a government channel he got the warning that pops up on me. He told her that the warning means I am a drug dealer or under suspicion for something.
That’s not true, but why would she doubt him. So she asked me about it. I told her it was something from my past but that I wasn’t a criminal or anything. She wanted to know what I did and why this “tag” is on my record. I don’t know her well enough to discuss all that. I tried to explain that it was personal, blah, blah blah; but she was worried.
She has a daughter and she didn’t want a potential bad man around her and her kid. I wasn’t willing to explain and I wasn’t going to make up a lie.
The girlfriend was there because she was afraid to be alone with me.
Bottom line . . . . we aren’t dating anymore.
If you’re keeping score . . .
I lost Mustang because I made a bad choice a few Sunday’s ago.
I lost Cowgirl because I was forced to make a bad choice many years ago.
Oh well . . . . .
I was with Cowgirl last night and it seemed like we were having fun. Then a girlfriend of hers showed up. Her body language was off, and then I noticed that Cowgirl’s was different as well. We had discussed going to a concert after our drinks, but she didn’t mention it last night. So when she had to leave for the concert I just said good bye.
I sent my usual “thank you for the date” text. 30 minutes later she hadn’t replied. I then sent her a text asking if I could see her again. She didn’t reply. At that point I figured that I must have done something wrong. But I stopped trying to communicate.
She called me this morning. Her ex is a cop. After she met me Thursday she asked him to run a criminal background check on me. Since he did it through a government channel he got the warning that pops up on me. He told her that the warning means I am a drug dealer or under suspicion for something.
That’s not true, but why would she doubt him. So she asked me about it. I told her it was something from my past but that I wasn’t a criminal or anything. She wanted to know what I did and why this “tag” is on my record. I don’t know her well enough to discuss all that. I tried to explain that it was personal, blah, blah blah; but she was worried.
She has a daughter and she didn’t want a potential bad man around her and her kid. I wasn’t willing to explain and I wasn’t going to make up a lie.
The girlfriend was there because she was afraid to be alone with me.
Bottom line . . . . we aren’t dating anymore.
If you’re keeping score . . .
I lost Mustang because I made a bad choice a few Sunday’s ago.
I lost Cowgirl because I was forced to make a bad choice many years ago.
Oh well . . . . .
Friday, October 26, 2012
My Journal #341 - It got Cold!!!!
Damn! It got cold. Oh well Happy Friday anyway.
Martel – Heard from your Cowboy?
Banana Rama – Congrats on the new gig.
HMPOA – Get well soon.
Sasha Lucille – Hehehehehe!
Sunshine – If you don’t miss me yet, you will!
So, tonight is the big first date. Well not exactly . . .
Cowgirl mentioned that she was going to a Sports Bar to watch the Baseball Playoffs. She even told me which bar, so I took that as a hint. So we met a night early.
She was as pretty as her pictures.
And we hit it off. We talked and laughed . . . . and kissed. Yup, I still got it. And no, I didn’t try for the “Big Kahuna”. I tend to respect those women that don’t put out on a first date. And I assume she would have said no, but I didn’t want to take a chance.
Ok, so she was there with a girlfriend. During the 7th inning I noticed that the friend was gone, so I inquired. The friend was her current roommate, and she took Cowgirl’s car home. That was when Cowgirl asked me to take her home after the game.
Ok?!?!?
And get this, she lives about a half mile from me. Well, she lives there until Saturday. She just got her own place and she wants to move this weekend. But we’ve made some plans for the weekend so she may wait and move another weekend.
But the best part of the entire night was . . . .
I DIDN’T COMPARE HER TO SUNSHINE ONCE!
Yes, she is a lot like Sunshine. But she is her own person.
As of now, we are still having drinks when she gets off of work. But now she has asked if I will go to the concert she is going to attend. In any case, after the concert she is coming by to sit by the pool, drink some whiskey, and listen to music. I even agreed to play C&W for her.
Saturday night we’re going dancing. And Sunday I sort of agreed to go to her place and watch . . . . the Cowboys.
[Hey, my Texans are off this week so why not?]
Wish me luck!
Nope don’t worry about that . . . . cuz I’ve still got it!!!
Martel – Heard from your Cowboy?
Banana Rama – Congrats on the new gig.
HMPOA – Get well soon.
Sasha Lucille – Hehehehehe!
Sunshine – If you don’t miss me yet, you will!
So, tonight is the big first date. Well not exactly . . .
Cowgirl mentioned that she was going to a Sports Bar to watch the Baseball Playoffs. She even told me which bar, so I took that as a hint. So we met a night early.
She was as pretty as her pictures.
And we hit it off. We talked and laughed . . . . and kissed. Yup, I still got it. And no, I didn’t try for the “Big Kahuna”. I tend to respect those women that don’t put out on a first date. And I assume she would have said no, but I didn’t want to take a chance.
Ok, so she was there with a girlfriend. During the 7th inning I noticed that the friend was gone, so I inquired. The friend was her current roommate, and she took Cowgirl’s car home. That was when Cowgirl asked me to take her home after the game.
Ok?!?!?
And get this, she lives about a half mile from me. Well, she lives there until Saturday. She just got her own place and she wants to move this weekend. But we’ve made some plans for the weekend so she may wait and move another weekend.
But the best part of the entire night was . . . .
I DIDN’T COMPARE HER TO SUNSHINE ONCE!
Yes, she is a lot like Sunshine. But she is her own person.
As of now, we are still having drinks when she gets off of work. But now she has asked if I will go to the concert she is going to attend. In any case, after the concert she is coming by to sit by the pool, drink some whiskey, and listen to music. I even agreed to play C&W for her.
Saturday night we’re going dancing. And Sunday I sort of agreed to go to her place and watch . . . . the Cowboys.
[Hey, my Texans are off this week so why not?]
Wish me luck!
Nope don’t worry about that . . . . cuz I’ve still got it!!!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
My Journal #340 - Sunshine, Sr
For the 3rd night in a row, Cowgirl and I talked and texted all night. Last night we even moved forward with some sexual innuendo. She is almost as flirtatious as me. And we have two dates planned for this weekend now and she’s hinting about a 3rd.
[What can I say other than I STILL GOT IT!]
Once she finally had to say goodnight, I lay dawn and just thought. And that is when I came up with the other names for Cowgirl . . . .
Cowgirl has basically the same hair color and eye color as Sunshine. Cowgirl is thinner that Sunshine, but she still has about the same size equipment (if you know what I mean). Cowgirl has a couple of tats, drives a lift truck, enjoys beer and cowboys, and can make me smile and laugh. She likes to wear jeans, but also enjoys putting on heels.
She is Sunshine, only 10 years older physically and 20 years older emotionally.
Cowgirl told me she was married young and at 26 was riding bikes, chasing every man in cowboy boots, and drunk every night of the week. She almost lost her daughter because of her behavior. So she decided to change and be responsible.
I get the feeling that the wild side is still there, and only comes out for the right guy now. But for what it’s worth she is pretty amazing.
There are other similarities like the last time I saw Sunshine she was in boots, shorts and a Texans t-shirt. The first picture I saw of Cowgirl she was in boots, shorts and a low cut Cowboys T-shirt. But the biggest difference is that Cowgirl was lied to and misled before by her man. She knows how horrible that feels. She learned and is VERY direct and honest. (Thank god) She is a single (divorced) mom, likes to talk about politics and sports, and her bio says she likes to hold hands in public.
I once prayed for me. I prayed that Sunshine would grow up a bit. I guess Cowgirl is the answer to my prayer.
Anyway, she’s already texting me this morning so I had better go.
Today I am really happy for the first time since my Bloody Sunday.
[What can I say other than I STILL GOT IT!]
Once she finally had to say goodnight, I lay dawn and just thought. And that is when I came up with the other names for Cowgirl . . . .
Sunshine, Sr
Cowgirl has basically the same hair color and eye color as Sunshine. Cowgirl is thinner that Sunshine, but she still has about the same size equipment (if you know what I mean). Cowgirl has a couple of tats, drives a lift truck, enjoys beer and cowboys, and can make me smile and laugh. She likes to wear jeans, but also enjoys putting on heels.
She is Sunshine, only 10 years older physically and 20 years older emotionally.
Cowgirl told me she was married young and at 26 was riding bikes, chasing every man in cowboy boots, and drunk every night of the week. She almost lost her daughter because of her behavior. So she decided to change and be responsible.
I get the feeling that the wild side is still there, and only comes out for the right guy now. But for what it’s worth she is pretty amazing.
There are other similarities like the last time I saw Sunshine she was in boots, shorts and a Texans t-shirt. The first picture I saw of Cowgirl she was in boots, shorts and a low cut Cowboys T-shirt. But the biggest difference is that Cowgirl was lied to and misled before by her man. She knows how horrible that feels. She learned and is VERY direct and honest. (Thank god) She is a single (divorced) mom, likes to talk about politics and sports, and her bio says she likes to hold hands in public.
I once prayed for me. I prayed that Sunshine would grow up a bit. I guess Cowgirl is the answer to my prayer.
Anyway, she’s already texting me this morning so I had better go.
Today I am really happy for the first time since my Bloody Sunday.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
My Journal #339 - A moment
A moment is a miniscule period of time. It’s much less than a second. Most people count time in minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years. And those are valid periods to track. But the moment is the most important.
A moment lasts less than a blink. But a moment is how long it takes to make a choice, or a decision, or a big mistake. A moment is so small it can’t be recorded, but a moment can create something that lasts a lifetime.
I know so many people today that say they live in the moment. They claim not to worry about tomorrow. They live their life in the here and now, fast and furious, wild and crazy too. They do whatever they want in the moment, and laugh it off later to alcohol or by claiming that this is just who they are.
They don’t worry about tomorrow. They claim not to care about the ramifications of anything done in a moment. They don’t care how it will affect them. They figure it will all work out.
But they forget that the moment not only affects them, if affects everyone.
A moment is plenty of time to make a mistake, to change your life, to hurt yourself or to hurt others. But a moment is also all it takes to change. Someone does something in a moment and it hurts the people around them. But they don’t worry. They try to forget.
But they can use the next moment to set things right. They could use the next moment to change who they are. They could use the next moment to make someone else happy.
A moment is precious, brief and fleeting. But a moment is long enough to say “I love you” or “I need you” or “I miss you”.
The current norm is wrong. We should not live our lives in the moment. You do need to live your life in greater time. Live your life based on what you will be tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Life is short enough already, don’t live your entire life in the moment.
We all die. When we die people will tell stories about us. They will laugh about the moment, and the things one did in the moment. But that ends as the coffin disappears. What remains in their thoughts are who and what a person was or became. It becomes their legacy.
And very bluntly, when we die everything we have disappears. When we die all we have is how we are remembered. And people won’t remember the moment for long.
Live for an eternity. Use a moment to change your life. Use your life to accomplish things, like a healthy family, establishing close friendships, and being a person people want to remember.
So, what are you going to do in the next moment?
A moment lasts less than a blink. But a moment is how long it takes to make a choice, or a decision, or a big mistake. A moment is so small it can’t be recorded, but a moment can create something that lasts a lifetime.
I know so many people today that say they live in the moment. They claim not to worry about tomorrow. They live their life in the here and now, fast and furious, wild and crazy too. They do whatever they want in the moment, and laugh it off later to alcohol or by claiming that this is just who they are.
They don’t worry about tomorrow. They claim not to care about the ramifications of anything done in a moment. They don’t care how it will affect them. They figure it will all work out.
But they forget that the moment not only affects them, if affects everyone.
A moment is plenty of time to make a mistake, to change your life, to hurt yourself or to hurt others. But a moment is also all it takes to change. Someone does something in a moment and it hurts the people around them. But they don’t worry. They try to forget.
But they can use the next moment to set things right. They could use the next moment to change who they are. They could use the next moment to make someone else happy.
A moment is precious, brief and fleeting. But a moment is long enough to say “I love you” or “I need you” or “I miss you”.
The current norm is wrong. We should not live our lives in the moment. You do need to live your life in greater time. Live your life based on what you will be tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Life is short enough already, don’t live your entire life in the moment.
We all die. When we die people will tell stories about us. They will laugh about the moment, and the things one did in the moment. But that ends as the coffin disappears. What remains in their thoughts are who and what a person was or became. It becomes their legacy.
And very bluntly, when we die everything we have disappears. When we die all we have is how we are remembered. And people won’t remember the moment for long.
Live for an eternity. Use a moment to change your life. Use your life to accomplish things, like a healthy family, establishing close friendships, and being a person people want to remember.
So, what are you going to do in the next moment?
My Journal #338 - Stupid Thoughts
I’m totally exhausted. I cut down a tree today, trimmed four more, worked on the pool vac again, and then ran 6 miles. Whew!
Now I’m chilling with a cold brew, texting Cowgirl (That’s the new penname for my new friend), and watching NCIS re-runs. I figure it’s not a bad time to ramble a bit.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Is it wrong for a vegetarian to eat animal crackers?
Can you cry under water?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment, but
When you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?
What is another word for thesaurus?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Is it okay to shoot tourists during tourist season?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?
Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?
Why do they call a building a building when it is already built?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
If honesty is the best policy, then is dishonesty the second best policy?
When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
What is the speed of dark?
If there were no sponges living in the oceans, would the oceans be deeper?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then is congress the opposite of progress?
What do little birdies see when they get conked on the head?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?
Is there another word for synonym?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
How come, at a wedding, the bride doesn't marry the best man?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If you ate pasta and antipasti during the same meal, would you still be hungry?
Now I’m chilling with a cold brew, texting Cowgirl (That’s the new penname for my new friend), and watching NCIS re-runs. I figure it’s not a bad time to ramble a bit.
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Is it wrong for a vegetarian to eat animal crackers?
Can you cry under water?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called a shipment, but
When you transport something by ship, it is called cargo?
What is another word for thesaurus?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Is it okay to shoot tourists during tourist season?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?
Why does the word 'monosyllabic' have five syllables?
Why do they call a building a building when it is already built?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
If honesty is the best policy, then is dishonesty the second best policy?
When a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
What is the speed of dark?
If there were no sponges living in the oceans, would the oceans be deeper?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then is congress the opposite of progress?
What do little birdies see when they get conked on the head?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?
Is there another word for synonym?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
How come, at a wedding, the bride doesn't marry the best man?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If you ate pasta and antipasti during the same meal, would you still be hungry?
My Journal #337 - How I see it
Last week I missed by appointment with the shrink. So yesterday we had two weeks of crap to discuss. And as usual we spent the bulk of the time discussing the events from my Bloody Sunday two weeks ago.
Ladies . . . . He disagrees with you. He said I always have to be what I am and going way out of my way to help a friend, while being abused, and while knowing that it would be completely unappreciated, and possibly knowing that it would end a positive relationship in my life was the RIGHT thing for ME to do. He claims that with all the drama and confusion in my life that I need to just be me and not try to do change my core beliefs. How I react can be modified, but my core reaction was correct.
He even asked if Sunshine would ever want to talk with him professionally. Riiiiight!
What has changed in my mind is my vision of her. I used to see her smiling and laughing. I would see her having these high level conversations with people and being happy. And I would see her eyes and legs, which are my favorite attributes of hers. She always looked so amazing in my thoughts.
I always saw her as a person, a mom, and an amazing woman while others only seem to see big tits, a nice ass, and her sexy wardrobe.
But now I see the person I saw a week ago Sunday. I see a person that came to see me and my friends and ended up stripping and pole dancing for the guys next to us. I see the girl that poured a bottle of water in my lap when I wouldn’t give her another beer. I see the girl that asked me dancing but now I see it as she just wanted to dance and I was the closest guy. I now see the girl that abandoned me in Conroe. I see her rolling her eyes when I tried to talk with her. And I see the person that wanted so badly to impress other people that she couldn’t find 5 minutes to return a damn jersey.
I no longer see a good yet troubled girl. I see a rude and inconsiderate person that uses people to get by.
On a better note, the new Cupid chick and I spent the day texting, talking, and the evening emailing each other. We are now at the point where we are sharing the “not so great” stuff about ourselves. This is good. It’s good because we are sharing and still enjoying each other. She seems to be a nice person, and we have a lot in common.
Wish me luck.
Ladies . . . . He disagrees with you. He said I always have to be what I am and going way out of my way to help a friend, while being abused, and while knowing that it would be completely unappreciated, and possibly knowing that it would end a positive relationship in my life was the RIGHT thing for ME to do. He claims that with all the drama and confusion in my life that I need to just be me and not try to do change my core beliefs. How I react can be modified, but my core reaction was correct.
He even asked if Sunshine would ever want to talk with him professionally. Riiiiight!
What has changed in my mind is my vision of her. I used to see her smiling and laughing. I would see her having these high level conversations with people and being happy. And I would see her eyes and legs, which are my favorite attributes of hers. She always looked so amazing in my thoughts.
I always saw her as a person, a mom, and an amazing woman while others only seem to see big tits, a nice ass, and her sexy wardrobe.
But now I see the person I saw a week ago Sunday. I see a person that came to see me and my friends and ended up stripping and pole dancing for the guys next to us. I see the girl that poured a bottle of water in my lap when I wouldn’t give her another beer. I see the girl that asked me dancing but now I see it as she just wanted to dance and I was the closest guy. I now see the girl that abandoned me in Conroe. I see her rolling her eyes when I tried to talk with her. And I see the person that wanted so badly to impress other people that she couldn’t find 5 minutes to return a damn jersey.
I no longer see a good yet troubled girl. I see a rude and inconsiderate person that uses people to get by.
On a better note, the new Cupid chick and I spent the day texting, talking, and the evening emailing each other. We are now at the point where we are sharing the “not so great” stuff about ourselves. This is good. It’s good because we are sharing and still enjoying each other. She seems to be a nice person, and we have a lot in common.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
My Journal #336 - From Mom
My mom sent this to me and said it reminded her of me a a little "buck-a-roo".
My Journal #334 - Record 30 - 1
I chatted with the Cupid lady all night. As I mentioned last night I have asked about 30 ladies out in the past three years and 29 said yes. That means as of midnight last night I had a record of 29 - 1.
[Not too shabby]
As of this morning I am now 30 - 1!
She even sent me a picture of her in a skirt and western boots to seal the deal on a night of dancing.
WHOOP!
[No, that's not the picture she sent]
[Not too shabby]
As of this morning I am now 30 - 1!
She even sent me a picture of her in a skirt and western boots to seal the deal on a night of dancing.
WHOOP!
[No, that's not the picture she sent]
Monday, October 22, 2012
My Journal #333 - Made me think . . .
Sorry to write two journals in one night, but something happened that made me think. So since I can’t sleep or call one of you, I write.
Tonight I mentioned to Suzy how I can’t stand being lied to and deceived. We talked about it briefly and then changed topics. But she just called me to make one more comment, and that’s the one that made me think. She said . . .
That is so true. I mean I already knew it but to hear it being repeated made it sink in.
I’ve been sending emails to Sunshine. (Sorry ladies) I’ve been discussing the things she has done to me that were dis-respectful or rude. I wasn’t doing it out of spite or to be mean; I was doing it to try to convince her to change somewhat so that someday she could get a good man. She once said she reads everything I write to her, whether good or bad. Tonight’s email was about how she had lied to me before and how that will put her in difficult situations in the future if she continues.
But just now I wonder if she lied about reading my words too. I now see her in my mind finding an email from me and just deleting it without reading a word. I can see her rolling her eyes and thinking I’m just stalking her (She’s big on using that word). So just now I decided that writing to her is pointless. My last email will be my last email.
Another thing I realized is that in the past three years I have asked to spend time with about 30 women. The ages ranged from about 25 to about 50. All but one has said yes. And all that said yes wanted to see me again. The only one that ever said no was Sunshine.
So in my puny brain I believe that means I am a desirable guy that is fun to be around. Women of all ages, size, race and personality like me. When Sunshine said no I took it as a challenge and tried harder. But the reality may be that she just doesn’t get it. It’s definitely not my problem if everyone else see’s something and she doesn’t.
I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but it’s her freakin’ loss . . . and someday she will realize it.
I lost Mustang because I helped Sunshine. She was rude the entire time I was helping her and she has been totally inconsiderate since. I won’t lose another nice lady because Sunshine calls. So I swapped numbers with the new Cupid girl. I will go dancing again this weekend because I love to dance and I am damn good at it.
Anyway, I just had to share this because I know most of you know her and those that do dislike her. So when you wake you can text me your thoughts.
BTW, Martel you did promise me a dance!
Good night my friends. Luv Ya’ll!
Tonight I mentioned to Suzy how I can’t stand being lied to and deceived. We talked about it briefly and then changed topics. But she just called me to make one more comment, and that’s the one that made me think. She said . . .
“If someone lies to you once, no matter the circumstances, then you should think about everything that they say, because it all could be lies. Liars always have to lie again.”
That is so true. I mean I already knew it but to hear it being repeated made it sink in.
I’ve been sending emails to Sunshine. (Sorry ladies) I’ve been discussing the things she has done to me that were dis-respectful or rude. I wasn’t doing it out of spite or to be mean; I was doing it to try to convince her to change somewhat so that someday she could get a good man. She once said she reads everything I write to her, whether good or bad. Tonight’s email was about how she had lied to me before and how that will put her in difficult situations in the future if she continues.
But just now I wonder if she lied about reading my words too. I now see her in my mind finding an email from me and just deleting it without reading a word. I can see her rolling her eyes and thinking I’m just stalking her (She’s big on using that word). So just now I decided that writing to her is pointless. My last email will be my last email.
Another thing I realized is that in the past three years I have asked to spend time with about 30 women. The ages ranged from about 25 to about 50. All but one has said yes. And all that said yes wanted to see me again. The only one that ever said no was Sunshine.
So in my puny brain I believe that means I am a desirable guy that is fun to be around. Women of all ages, size, race and personality like me. When Sunshine said no I took it as a challenge and tried harder. But the reality may be that she just doesn’t get it. It’s definitely not my problem if everyone else see’s something and she doesn’t.
I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but it’s her freakin’ loss . . . and someday she will realize it.
I lost Mustang because I helped Sunshine. She was rude the entire time I was helping her and she has been totally inconsiderate since. I won’t lose another nice lady because Sunshine calls. So I swapped numbers with the new Cupid girl. I will go dancing again this weekend because I love to dance and I am damn good at it.
Anyway, I just had to share this because I know most of you know her and those that do dislike her. So when you wake you can text me your thoughts.
BTW, Martel you did promise me a dance!
Good night my friends. Luv Ya’ll!
My Journal #332 - MNF
I had a couple of drinks with Suzy tonight. It’s nothing major so don’t get your hopes up. She’s just a good friend and she still works most nights and every weekend night, which limits dating opportunities. Actually we only had a couple of drinks because she had to go to work, its Monday Night Football ya know.
But I owed her since she took care of me that night I was so angry. She calmed me down and took all night to make sure. She’s a really nice girl.
I got home and had a reply from a lady on that Cupid site where I met Mustang. She likes to dance, and she’s already hinted that she will be dancing somewhere this weekend. I have this urge to go dancing again this weekend, but I’ve already been turned down once so I think I will chat a bit more before I ask her dancing.
Ok, I watching my MNF and my Fantasy Team. I’m down by 30 points going into tonight, but my opponent is done and I have both Brandon Marshall & Megatron going for me tonight. And I need to finish my chat with this new lady.
Ciao ya’ll!
But I owed her since she took care of me that night I was so angry. She calmed me down and took all night to make sure. She’s a really nice girl.
I got home and had a reply from a lady on that Cupid site where I met Mustang. She likes to dance, and she’s already hinted that she will be dancing somewhere this weekend. I have this urge to go dancing again this weekend, but I’ve already been turned down once so I think I will chat a bit more before I ask her dancing.
Ok, I watching my MNF and my Fantasy Team. I’m down by 30 points going into tonight, but my opponent is done and I have both Brandon Marshall & Megatron going for me tonight. And I need to finish my chat with this new lady.
Ciao ya’ll!
My Journal #331 - The night of Arrows
If you were paying attention there was a meteor shower Saturday night. It comes around every October and lights up the sky. The Cherokee called it the night of arrows. The meteors were considered to be flaming arrows flung by their ancestors. It let the Cherokee know that their ancestors were well and it gave them the chance to take their Vision Quest and speak to them while they were closer than at any other time. It was also the end of tribal testing and the one night a year that a non-Cherokee could be made a Cherokee in spirit. A Cherokee could only do this to one person and once a lifetime.
[Yup, I pissed my chance away a couple of years ago]
So . . . .
Saturday night I had dinner with my son. Then I returned to the house to listen to some Miles Davis and sip on some whiskey. I took a Vision Quest that night as well. I do that about twice a year, but I haven’t done it in a while now. In a properly performed Vision Quest I get to see my grandfather and speak to him. Often there are other spirits there as well. Such was the case Saturday night.
I was given the same message I have been given for years now. The message was that I needed to protect someone. I know who because I’ve been told. The other spirits were the ancestors of that person, also begging me to protect that person. But here is the shit. The person I am supposed to be there for doesn’t want or need my help. I’ve actually given up on trying, and I guess that this could be sensed.
After every previous Vision Quest I’ve taken I come out of it feeling renewed and vibrant. I feel like I know my purpose again, and I move forward with my life accordingly. But this time I came out of it feeling like I was destined to fail.
Sunday fate interceded and brought me back into contact with that person. It was a bad conversation. But it sort of told me that I shouldn’t give up. So I tried again. I got the same shitty results.
I’m going for a run now. Yup, I’ve already finished all my projects for today. I will run until exhausted, and then I will sit down and decide once and for all my course.
I’m sharing this with you because it’s a topic that embarrasses me and one that I won’t mention again. But at least you know I don’t quit easily.
And who knows, maybe I’ll get another sign.
Ciao!
[Yup, I pissed my chance away a couple of years ago]
So . . . .
Saturday night I had dinner with my son. Then I returned to the house to listen to some Miles Davis and sip on some whiskey. I took a Vision Quest that night as well. I do that about twice a year, but I haven’t done it in a while now. In a properly performed Vision Quest I get to see my grandfather and speak to him. Often there are other spirits there as well. Such was the case Saturday night.
I was given the same message I have been given for years now. The message was that I needed to protect someone. I know who because I’ve been told. The other spirits were the ancestors of that person, also begging me to protect that person. But here is the shit. The person I am supposed to be there for doesn’t want or need my help. I’ve actually given up on trying, and I guess that this could be sensed.
After every previous Vision Quest I’ve taken I come out of it feeling renewed and vibrant. I feel like I know my purpose again, and I move forward with my life accordingly. But this time I came out of it feeling like I was destined to fail.
Sunday fate interceded and brought me back into contact with that person. It was a bad conversation. But it sort of told me that I shouldn’t give up. So I tried again. I got the same shitty results.
I’m going for a run now. Yup, I’ve already finished all my projects for today. I will run until exhausted, and then I will sit down and decide once and for all my course.
I’m sharing this with you because it’s a topic that embarrasses me and one that I won’t mention again. But at least you know I don’t quit easily.
And who knows, maybe I’ll get another sign.
Ciao!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
My Journal #330 - Groups and things
I am really trying to get all this new technology shit. It’s funny to me that I used to be the guy on the front edge of technology. Now I’m a lap behind.
Anyway, I learned about GROUPS a while ago. A group to me is where you decide you have a bunch of friend that you want to send jokes to, so you put all their names in a group. Well this group shit bit me in the ass twice this week.
First at work I set up groups. I set up a group for the sales reps, a group for the management, a group for the employees at each location and so on. I send emails daily. And this week I did the same. The only problem is that I don’t pay attention to who is in the group; so all my emails included a poor soul that died this week. It wasn’t until Friday before someone told me my error.
That shouldn’t have happened.
The second fuck up was on my phone. I have a group of people that I text during my Texan’s games. Again, I don’t check it often enough. So I am excited because my boys are winning and I am texting like crazy. Then I get a text from Sunshine and she is pissed because I have included her in my text messages.
Oh shit!
Well at least that prompted a conversation. By the way, she hates me.
So much for this group shit.
I had to break my promise to Martel today as well (Sorry baby). My kid and his friends joined me at the game. We had a great time. After the game I am cooking for about 12 people and I notice that on of my son’s friends has wandered to another area. He’s a good kid, an Engineer I think. Anyway he is having a conversation with three men. And I tend to notice body language and shit. The body language of all three looked stressed.
So I wandered towards them. As I got close, the largest man grabbed my son’s friend by the shirt. Folks, people can fuck with anyone they want, but when you are with me I won’t tolerate abusive behavior. The good news is that once the biggest guy hit the ground the other two backed off. His friends did come by later to inform me he was going to the hospital with a broken nose and jaw.
Sorry, don’t fuck with my people.
I got a text from the wild ass county chick today. She again said she knows I am interested in someone else, but she asked if I wanted to just have “dates” with her.
Geez, I don’t get this younger generation. Do no guys today know how to please a woman? If they do then why do ALL women want a repeat performance with me?
Finally, my Texan’s won! Whoop!
Anyway, I learned about GROUPS a while ago. A group to me is where you decide you have a bunch of friend that you want to send jokes to, so you put all their names in a group. Well this group shit bit me in the ass twice this week.
First at work I set up groups. I set up a group for the sales reps, a group for the management, a group for the employees at each location and so on. I send emails daily. And this week I did the same. The only problem is that I don’t pay attention to who is in the group; so all my emails included a poor soul that died this week. It wasn’t until Friday before someone told me my error.
That shouldn’t have happened.
The second fuck up was on my phone. I have a group of people that I text during my Texan’s games. Again, I don’t check it often enough. So I am excited because my boys are winning and I am texting like crazy. Then I get a text from Sunshine and she is pissed because I have included her in my text messages.
Oh shit!
Well at least that prompted a conversation. By the way, she hates me.
So much for this group shit.
I had to break my promise to Martel today as well (Sorry baby). My kid and his friends joined me at the game. We had a great time. After the game I am cooking for about 12 people and I notice that on of my son’s friends has wandered to another area. He’s a good kid, an Engineer I think. Anyway he is having a conversation with three men. And I tend to notice body language and shit. The body language of all three looked stressed.
So I wandered towards them. As I got close, the largest man grabbed my son’s friend by the shirt. Folks, people can fuck with anyone they want, but when you are with me I won’t tolerate abusive behavior. The good news is that once the biggest guy hit the ground the other two backed off. His friends did come by later to inform me he was going to the hospital with a broken nose and jaw.
Sorry, don’t fuck with my people.
I got a text from the wild ass county chick today. She again said she knows I am interested in someone else, but she asked if I wanted to just have “dates” with her.
Geez, I don’t get this younger generation. Do no guys today know how to please a woman? If they do then why do ALL women want a repeat performance with me?
Finally, my Texan’s won! Whoop!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
My Journal #329 - WHY?
So I go to this C&W Bar because I want to meet a big boobed REAL country girl. I spot this babe and I move in. She is blonde, wearing a skirt and REAL country boots. We talk, we have a few drinks, and we enjoy our time. But I’m not convinced she is a REAL country girl.
So we leave together to go dancing. We dance a few practice songs and then we go for the truth. And DAMN this chick can dance. Not only can she read me, she keeps up with me. We part the dance floor and destroy the place.
She asks me if I am convinced. She then asks me to her place. It’s a condo downtown, not the place for a country chick. She serves me JD, while she enjoys Martel Cognac. She calls me her Rock and Roll Cowboy. She asks me to put my hair in a ponytail. Urgh, but ok. Then she asks me to strip and put on her Mink Coat and Cowboy hat.
[It’s getting weird]
I go to the restroom to change, and I put on what she asks. When I emerge, she is wearing a black leather vest and black leather chaps with her Knee high boots.
[Holy shit!]
As we are being intimate she stops, grabs a guitar and sings this song . .
WOW!, This chick can rock.
Later, we are sipping Gentleman Jack and she tells me she could easily fall in love with me. But then she says she can tell I’m in love with someone else. She says by the way I hold her she can tell that I am a guy that wants to hold someone else.
[WTF?]
So here I sit, buck naked other than a western hat with a snakeskin brim, and I realize that she is right.
Why the fuck does every hot chick in H-Town fall in love with me while the chick I may be in love with wants nothing to do with me?
[Fuck me]
Then we start talking personal shit, and guess what?
She is a CPA . . . . and works for the same company as Sunshine!
[Fuck me running!]
Ok, I’m home now. I had a SUPER night with a big boobed, blonde, CPA, country girl. And she fuckin’ told me I’m in love with Sunshine.
Can my world and my signs be any weirder?
I do believe in FATE!
WHY DOES EVERY CHICK I MEET FALL IN LOVE WITH ME WHILE THE ONE I MAY LOVE CAN’T STAND ME?
So we leave together to go dancing. We dance a few practice songs and then we go for the truth. And DAMN this chick can dance. Not only can she read me, she keeps up with me. We part the dance floor and destroy the place.
She asks me if I am convinced. She then asks me to her place. It’s a condo downtown, not the place for a country chick. She serves me JD, while she enjoys Martel Cognac. She calls me her Rock and Roll Cowboy. She asks me to put my hair in a ponytail. Urgh, but ok. Then she asks me to strip and put on her Mink Coat and Cowboy hat.
[It’s getting weird]
I go to the restroom to change, and I put on what she asks. When I emerge, she is wearing a black leather vest and black leather chaps with her Knee high boots.
[Holy shit!]
As we are being intimate she stops, grabs a guitar and sings this song . .
Bon Jovi
Its all the same, only the names will change
Everyday it seems were wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
Id drive all night just to get back home
Everyday it seems were wasting away
Another place where the faces are so cold
Id drive all night just to get back home
Im a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
Im wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Im wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes its not for days
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when youre all alone all you do is think
And the people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when youre all alone all you do is think
I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back
I play for keeps, cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still Im standing tall
Ive seen a million faces an Ive rocked them all
I play for keeps, cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still Im standing tall
Ive seen a million faces an Ive rocked them all
Im a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
Im wanted dead or alive
Im a cowboy, I got the night on my side
Im wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Im wanted dead or alive
Im a cowboy, I got the night on my side
Im wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Later, we are sipping Gentleman Jack and she tells me she could easily fall in love with me. But then she says she can tell I’m in love with someone else. She says by the way I hold her she can tell that I am a guy that wants to hold someone else.
[WTF?]
So here I sit, buck naked other than a western hat with a snakeskin brim, and I realize that she is right.
Why the fuck does every hot chick in H-Town fall in love with me while the chick I may be in love with wants nothing to do with me?
[Fuck me]
Then we start talking personal shit, and guess what?
She is a CPA . . . . and works for the same company as Sunshine!
[Fuck me running!]
Ok, I’m home now. I had a SUPER night with a big boobed, blonde, CPA, country girl. And she fuckin’ told me I’m in love with Sunshine.
Can my world and my signs be any weirder?
I do believe in FATE!
WHY DOES EVERY CHICK I MEET FALL IN LOVE WITH ME WHILE THE ONE I MAY LOVE CAN’T STAND ME?
Friday, October 19, 2012
My Journal #328 - Susan
I had someone ask me who Susan is. I briefly mentioned her earlier this week, but here’s the whole scoop.
I used to go to S M about every other weekend. Goal #1 was to see Sunshine, but it never happened (Nope, not once in two years). Goal #2 was to hang out with my 3 sexy coed friends. We would go to games, or dancing, or just sit down and get drunk somewhere. But dancing was my favorite, and one of them could really dance well.
But a few times either I outlasted them or they had other plans. So I would hit this little bar near the outskirts of town. Susan was a bartender / waitress there. She was a big and well endowed girl; she was flirtatious, cute, and very funny as well. The first couple of times I stopped there it was business, with brief moments of chatting.
Then one night a guy walked into the bar. As I glanced around I saw it was the guy that “someone” was living with, and he wasn’t with her. I figured it was none of my business and went back to my drink. That was when Susan came around and asked if I knew him because I looked at him for a while. I explained I knew who he was, but didn’t know him.
She proceeded to tell me what a jerk he was, and how he tries to pick her up every time he comes in. Once she acted like she would go with him and he told her to come by around 9 the next morning when his blanket-blank roommate would be gone.
[Even for me that was tacky and the blanket-blank word was awful]
Anyway, we sort of hooked up later that night. And then we did the same whenever we saw each other. She had many guys asking her out, but we enjoyed just having “alone” time together.
When I stopped going to S M as much, we sort of fell out of touch. Then a few weeks ago she sent me a text that she lives here now.
We hadn’t gotten together because I was seeing Mustang. But since that ended, we talked more. She had joined Twitter and asked if I wanted to follow her. I had no idea what that meant, but she said we could get together and she could show me. And she said she had some Twitter stuff that she thought I would find interesting. I doubted anything about it would interest me, but I figured whatever.
After my clothing swap last night we were to meet. Sunshine blew that up though. I was so angry that I tried to bail on Suzy. But we did finally get together around 8. I told her I was in a bad mood, so we went to the park and just sat and drank and talked.
She calmed me down.
And that is Suzy!
It's about 5 pm on a Friday right now. I had a rough night last night so I am going to go do what I do best . . . . get drunk! And Martel, I will NOT pick a fight. I'm not mad anymore. But I will use every bit of my Cowboy Charm to woo a big boobed blonde cowgirl into making a whole lot of wild "whoopie"! I have my black ropers, my black jeans, and my white button down. No stetson tonight though.
Yeehaw!
Luv ya all!
My Journal #327 - Anger or Heartbreak (2)
Last night I was angrier with one person than I had ever been with anyone before. That killed a part of me inside.
Last night I quit on a close friend. I’ve never done that before. I did it because I felt like I had always been a friend and she was just someone that would show up from time to time. I did it because she was destroying herself and wouldn’t let me stop her. I did it hoping she would see the truth.
I was supposed to learn Twitter from Susan last night. We ended up sitting in a park and drinking all night. She never let go of my hand, even though she was listening to me whine about another girl. She was what I needed last night.
I sent two emails this morning. The first one was to Susan thanking her for being a friend. I sent a second email to Sunshine. My last words to her were rude, and I needed to explain. My words were true, but I can’t end a relationship with someone I loved and have rude words as out last conversation.
I can’t explain what it feels like.
So today I just want to get through the day.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
My Journal #326 - Anger or heartbreak?
There will be no shout outs this week. If you really know me then you already know what I think.
Today is about me.
Tonight I sent this text message.
Things happened Sunday night that I didn't mention. I just wrote about it, but it's personal. So I deleted it.
Have a good weekend.
Today is about me.
Tonight I sent this text message.
“I always keep my word. Your stuff is at your house. Please don’t contact me unless you respect me enough to hear me. I’ve earned that.”
~
Things happened Sunday night that I didn't mention. I just wrote about it, but it's personal. So I deleted it.
Have a good weekend.
My Journal #325 - Twitter not Twatter
First, a moment of silence for a co-worker and friend that died yesterday.
Amen.
Second, I found out that it is a TWITTER account and not a TWATTER account. Wow, thanks to ALL of you for not clearing that up before I made an ass of myself. Anyway, I set up a TWITTER account for illogical69 (I think that’s how it is) so do whatever it is people do. But do it quickly. I don’t think I like the “open-ness” of that crap.
A friend of mine from San Marcos forced me to open one. Her name is Suze. She wasn’t one of my three close friends with which I JUST hung out. Nope, she was a bartender / waitress at a place I frequented. And since Sunshine always avoided me in San Marcos, and sometimes my friends had things to do, I would hook up with Suze.
We haven’t talked much since I quit going. But she emailed me last week that she moved to Houston and is attending U of H, and still tending bar. She has been wanting to get together, and she has been pushing this Twitter crap on me.
I really have no clue what I am doing on Twitter. But I am meeting Suze tonight after work. I don’t know why I’m doing that either. She is 100% and without a doubt a carbon copy of Sunshine, only Suze enjoys hanging out with me a little more than the 1,000 other guys that ask her out. She says she wants to show me how to Twit, but I think it has more to do with her Twat.
[Did I say that outloud?]
[And no, she doesn’t know about this page yet]
And in a strange turn of events, I am “SUPPOSEDLY” meeting Sunshine tonight to get my jersey back AND THEN going to hang out with Suze. What are the odds that I would be meeting the girl that pisses me off worse than anyone ever, and then going to hang out with her twin just to get laid without “Sunshine drama”.
Oh well, I will probably close that Twitter thing soon. So if you’re into that, find me and make me want to stay.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
My Journal #324 - Hump Day Twatting
It’s Wednesday, so HAPPY HUMP DAY!
Before I begin today’s Journal, let’s take one more quick count.
Mustang – GONE!
Sunshine – GOING!
My Texans Jersey – ????
My Dignity – BACK!
Last night after I posted my Journal, I received a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. It was one of the chicks that were looking at the picture of Mustang and I, and she wanted to introduce herself. I haven’t replied yet, and here is why.
I was married before. When we were just dating we got along great. When we got married it all fell apart. Since then, when I go to a bar and just flirt with women hoping to get a BJ; everyone likes me and I get what I want. But when I go to a dating site it’s different.
At a dating site I am polite and always a gentleman. I take the ladies to nice restaurants, nice get-a-ways, upscale bars, and expensive concerts. We talk, we laugh, and we have fun. They talk about the future, and actually show me they care by staying in touch.
AND THEN IT ALL FALLS APART. Every damn time it blows up after a few weeks.
At the same time, the chick I pick up in a bar and convince to do the nasty in a smelly bar restroom; I can call her anytime and she will do that again. She likes THAT me.
So I am wondering how I should approach life? I can get laid any time I want just by flirting with hot chicks. I have this knack of convincing them to strip and have sex. So why would I want to do the relationship thing? Maybe being a man-slut is my calling. I seem to be really good at it.
On a quick side note, I find one thing sort of sad. I definitely want a relationship with someone special and all I get is random sex and one-night stands. Sunshine only wants random sex and one-night stands yet guys always want a relationship with her.
Life is cruel!
Anyway, I am thinking I should approach this new chick differently. Maybe instead of texting and emailing for a day or two, and then meeting in a public dining facility for more chat; maybe I should just tell her I want to go to her place and nail her.
Ok, my old friend Suze is begging me to do a Twatter Account. I will try to set one up tonight, but I have no idea what to do. So if any of you have a Twatter account, look for me tomorrow and do whatever it is you do to let me know if I got it right.
Whatever?
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
My Journal #323 - My FINAL Bloody Sunday Journal
Seriously, this is the LAST journal about my “Bloody Sunday”.
For those keeping score, it is definitely over with Mustang. She was in a relationship for years and found her man cheating not once but twice. And she thinks I am lying to her about the events that unfolded Sunday night. She told me that she doesn’t know if she could compete with “all the women that throw themselves at me.”
[Sure, that happens . . . right . . . ]
And for the first time in years I sort of believe that not telling the truth might have been a good thing. But then again, if I didn’t tell her about my evening then I would have carried that in my mind. I’m not good at that. And even though I told the truth, she finds it hard to believe me.
It is NOBODY’S fault but mine. I make my own decisions and if they blow up on me then only I am to blame. I chose to help a friend of four years instead of having sex with a lady I’ve known for three weeks. And for the record, I’d have done the same for any of you.
And I’d do it again if Sunshine needed me.
Nothing bad happened. But it’s hard to prove you didn’t do something.
[The fucking story of my life!]
Since Sunday night my other prediction has proven correct as well.
• Sunshine left me in “Boom-Fuck” Egypt Sunday night and didn’t give it a second thought. I asked her why and SHE IGNORED ME!
• I asked her for a favor. SHE IGNORED ME!
• I needed help. SHE IGNORED ME!
• I asked for some personal property back that I loaned her. SHE IGNORED ME!
• And tomorrow if I ask her how she is doing . . . . SHE WILL IGNORE ME!
So I will ask for my property back again. If she ignores me I will be angry.
I heard from Mustang. She went to a Happy Hour to “get over me”. Her friends found a picture of us together. She told me that her friends told her she was crazy not to talk to me. She said their exact comments were . . .
• “That’s the hottest Cowboy I’ve ever seen.” (I wore my black Levis and Ropers that night with my black Stetson)
• “I’ll do him if you won’t!”
• “It’s no wonder women flirt with him!”
That was good for my ego.
Then she told me she would give her friends my number if I wanted. She would like to be friends.
I’ll give her some time and then call her again. But if I’ve lost her I will be fine because I did nothing wrong. I just helped someone I consider a friend . . . even if that person looks at me as some idiot.
[I’m a lot smarter than I look!]
Good night Mustang!
For those keeping score, it is definitely over with Mustang. She was in a relationship for years and found her man cheating not once but twice. And she thinks I am lying to her about the events that unfolded Sunday night. She told me that she doesn’t know if she could compete with “all the women that throw themselves at me.”
[Sure, that happens . . . right . . . ]
And for the first time in years I sort of believe that not telling the truth might have been a good thing. But then again, if I didn’t tell her about my evening then I would have carried that in my mind. I’m not good at that. And even though I told the truth, she finds it hard to believe me.
It is NOBODY’S fault but mine. I make my own decisions and if they blow up on me then only I am to blame. I chose to help a friend of four years instead of having sex with a lady I’ve known for three weeks. And for the record, I’d have done the same for any of you.
And I’d do it again if Sunshine needed me.
Nothing bad happened. But it’s hard to prove you didn’t do something.
[The fucking story of my life!]
Since Sunday night my other prediction has proven correct as well.
• Sunshine left me in “Boom-Fuck” Egypt Sunday night and didn’t give it a second thought. I asked her why and SHE IGNORED ME!
• I asked her for a favor. SHE IGNORED ME!
• I needed help. SHE IGNORED ME!
• I asked for some personal property back that I loaned her. SHE IGNORED ME!
• And tomorrow if I ask her how she is doing . . . . SHE WILL IGNORE ME!
So I will ask for my property back again. If she ignores me I will be angry.
~ UPDATE ~
I heard from Mustang. She went to a Happy Hour to “get over me”. Her friends found a picture of us together. She told me that her friends told her she was crazy not to talk to me. She said their exact comments were . . .
• “That’s the hottest Cowboy I’ve ever seen.” (I wore my black Levis and Ropers that night with my black Stetson)
• “I’ll do him if you won’t!”
• “It’s no wonder women flirt with him!”
That was good for my ego.
Then she told me she would give her friends my number if I wanted. She would like to be friends.
I’ll give her some time and then call her again. But if I’ve lost her I will be fine because I did nothing wrong. I just helped someone I consider a friend . . . even if that person looks at me as some idiot.
[I’m a lot smarter than I look!]
Good night Mustang!
What a babe, right?
Monday, October 15, 2012
My Journal #322 - Bored
First, I can never retire. I took today off (since I was chauffeuring Sunshine around until after 2 am) and figured I needed to sleep. I still got up at 5 am. I had an entire day and my only project was to put out some Halloween lights.
I WAS SO BORED!
Second, Mustang cancelled our lunch date today. But she did finally reply to a text message. One reply is better than none, right.
Third, the 24 hour rule kicks in soon. That is the rule that Sunshine will talk to me for about 24 hours after we see each other. Then she vanishes again and ignores any attempts to communicate. So after 24 hours I stop trying. But we chatted a bit today and I still have her top and she still has my jersey. (long story but nothing kinky) And I need my jersey back by Sunday so we will have to talk again.
Fourth, I haven’t been real talkative lately. Sorry friends, I’ve just had so much drama this weekend and I have been trying real hard to impress Mustang. And yes, I’ve been thinking about Sunshine too (don’t hate me Martel; and yes I know she has other interests)
Fifth, and again don’t hate me . . . . but I’m worried about Sunshine. I think she’s on a collision course with a major disaster. I am no longer a part of her life so I can’t ask, press or force her to talk. But just so we all know, if she’s hurting then I am hurting. Sorry, it can’t be helped.
Sixth, I have four days of work and then ten days off. I damn well better get together a list of things to do or I may be jumping off a building by day two. And hopefully Mustang will like me again by then and we can hang out some.
That’s it. Two Journal entries in one day . . . like I said, I’m bored.
I WAS SO BORED!
Second, Mustang cancelled our lunch date today. But she did finally reply to a text message. One reply is better than none, right.
Third, the 24 hour rule kicks in soon. That is the rule that Sunshine will talk to me for about 24 hours after we see each other. Then she vanishes again and ignores any attempts to communicate. So after 24 hours I stop trying. But we chatted a bit today and I still have her top and she still has my jersey. (long story but nothing kinky) And I need my jersey back by Sunday so we will have to talk again.
Fourth, I haven’t been real talkative lately. Sorry friends, I’ve just had so much drama this weekend and I have been trying real hard to impress Mustang. And yes, I’ve been thinking about Sunshine too (don’t hate me Martel; and yes I know she has other interests)
Fifth, and again don’t hate me . . . . but I’m worried about Sunshine. I think she’s on a collision course with a major disaster. I am no longer a part of her life so I can’t ask, press or force her to talk. But just so we all know, if she’s hurting then I am hurting. Sorry, it can’t be helped.
Sixth, I have four days of work and then ten days off. I damn well better get together a list of things to do or I may be jumping off a building by day two. And hopefully Mustang will like me again by then and we can hang out some.
That’s it. Two Journal entries in one day . . . like I said, I’m bored.
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