My Journal #328 - Susan

I had someone ask me who Susan is. I briefly mentioned her earlier this week, but here’s the whole scoop.

 

I used to go to S M about every other weekend. Goal #1 was to see Sunshine, but it never happened (Nope, not once in two years). Goal #2 was to hang out with my 3 sexy coed friends. We would go to games, or dancing, or just sit down and get drunk somewhere. But dancing was my favorite, and one of them could really dance well.

 

But a few times either I outlasted them or they had other plans. So I would hit this little bar near the outskirts of town. Susan was a bartender / waitress there. She was a big and well endowed girl; she was flirtatious, cute, and very funny as well. The first couple of times I stopped there it was business, with brief moments of chatting.

 

Then one night a guy walked into the bar. As I glanced around I saw it was the guy that “someone” was living with, and he wasn’t with her. I figured it was none of my business and went back to my drink. That was when Susan came around and asked if I knew him because I looked at him for a while. I explained I knew who he was, but didn’t know him.

 

She proceeded to tell me what a jerk he was, and how he tries to pick her up every time he comes in. Once she acted like she would go with him and he told her to come by around 9 the next morning when his blanket-blank roommate would be gone.

 

[Even for me that was tacky and the blanket-blank word was awful]

 

Anyway, we sort of hooked up later that night. And then we did the same whenever we saw each other. She had many guys asking her out, but we enjoyed just having “alone” time together.

 

When I stopped going to S M as much, we sort of fell out of touch. Then a few weeks ago she sent me a text that she lives here now.

 

We hadn’t gotten together because I was seeing Mustang. But since that ended, we talked more. She had joined Twitter and asked if I wanted to follow her. I had no idea what that meant, but she said we could get together and she could show me. And she said she had some Twitter stuff that she thought I would find interesting. I doubted anything about it would interest me, but I figured whatever.

 

After my clothing swap last night we were to meet. Sunshine blew that up though. I was so angry that I tried to bail on Suzy. But we did finally get together around 8. I told her I was in a bad mood, so we went to the park and just sat and drank and talked.

 

She calmed me down.

 

And that is Suzy!

 

It's about 5 pm on a Friday right now. I had a rough night last night so I am going to go do what I do best . . . . get drunk! And Martel, I will NOT pick a fight. I'm not mad anymore. But I will use every bit of my Cowboy Charm to woo a big boobed blonde cowgirl into making a whole lot of wild "whoopie"! I have my black ropers, my black jeans, and my white button down. No stetson tonight though.

 

Yeehaw!

 

Luv ya all!

My Journal #327 - Anger or Heartbreak (2)

Last night I was angrier with one person than I had ever been with anyone before. That killed a part of me inside.

 

Last night I quit on a close friend. I’ve never done that before. I did it because I felt like I had always been a friend and she was just someone that would show up from time to time. I did it because she was destroying herself and wouldn’t let me stop her. I did it hoping she would see the truth.

 

I was supposed to learn Twitter from Susan last night. We ended up sitting in a park and drinking all night. She never let go of my hand, even though she was listening to me whine about another girl. She was what I needed last night.

 

I sent two emails this morning. The first one was to Susan thanking her for being a friend. I sent a second email to Sunshine. My last words to her were rude, and I needed to explain. My words were true, but I can’t end a relationship with someone I loved and have rude words as out last conversation.

 

I can’t explain what it feels like.

 

So today I just want to get through the day.

My Journal #326 - Anger or heartbreak?

There will be no shout outs this week. If you really know me then you already know what I think.

Today is about me.

Tonight I sent this text message.

“I always keep my word. Your stuff is at your house. Please don’t contact me unless you respect me enough to hear me. I’ve earned that.”

~

Things happened Sunday night that I didn't mention. I just wrote about it, but it's personal. So I deleted it.

Have a good weekend.

My Journal #325 - Twitter not Twatter

First, a moment of silence for a co-worker and friend that died yesterday.

 

Amen.

 

Second, I found out that it is a TWITTER account and not a TWATTER account. Wow, thanks to ALL of you for not clearing that up before I made an ass of myself. Anyway, I set up a TWITTER account for illogical69 (I think that’s how it is) so do whatever it is people do. But do it quickly. I don’t think I like the “open-ness” of that crap.

 

A friend of mine from San Marcos forced me to open one. Her name is Suze. She wasn’t one of my three close friends with which I JUST hung out. Nope, she was a bartender / waitress at a place I frequented. And since Sunshine always avoided me in San Marcos, and sometimes my friends had things to do, I would hook up with Suze.

 

We haven’t talked much since I quit going. But she emailed me last week that she moved to Houston and is attending U of H, and still tending bar. She has been wanting to get together, and she has been pushing this Twitter crap on me.

 

I really have no clue what I am doing on Twitter. But I am meeting Suze tonight after work. I don’t know why I’m doing that either. She is 100% and without a doubt a carbon copy of Sunshine, only Suze enjoys hanging out with me a little more than the 1,000 other guys that ask her out. She says she wants to show me how to Twit, but I think it has more to do with her Twat.

 

[Did I say that outloud?]

 

[And no, she doesn’t know about this page yet]

 

And in a strange turn of events, I am “SUPPOSEDLY” meeting Sunshine tonight to get my jersey back AND THEN going to hang out with Suze. What are the odds that I would be meeting the girl that pisses me off worse than anyone ever, and then going to hang out with her twin just to get laid without “Sunshine drama”.

 

Oh well, I will probably close that Twitter thing soon. So if you’re into that, find me and make me want to stay.

 

My Journal #324 - Hump Day Twatting

It’s Wednesday, so HAPPY HUMP DAY!

 

Before I begin today’s Journal, let’s take one more quick count.

 

Mustang – GONE!

 

Sunshine – GOING!

 

My Texans Jersey – ????

 

My Dignity – BACK!

 

Last night after I posted my Journal, I received a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. It was one of the chicks that were looking at the picture of Mustang and I, and she wanted to introduce herself. I haven’t replied yet, and here is why.

 

I was married before. When we were just dating we got along great. When we got married it all fell apart. Since then, when I go to a bar and just flirt with women hoping to get a BJ; everyone likes me and I get what I want. But when I go to a dating site it’s different.

 

At a dating site I am polite and always a gentleman. I take the ladies to nice restaurants, nice get-a-ways, upscale bars, and expensive concerts. We talk, we laugh, and we have fun. They talk about the future, and actually show me they care by staying in touch.

 

AND THEN IT ALL FALLS APART. Every damn time it blows up after a few weeks.

 

At the same time, the chick I pick up in a bar and convince to do the nasty in a smelly bar restroom; I can call her anytime and she will do that again. She likes THAT me.

 

So I am wondering how I should approach life? I can get laid any time I want just by flirting with hot chicks. I have this knack of convincing them to strip and have sex. So why would I want to do the relationship thing? Maybe being a man-slut is my calling. I seem to be really good at it.

 

On a quick side note, I find one thing sort of sad. I definitely want a relationship with someone special and all I get is random sex and one-night stands. Sunshine only wants random sex and one-night stands yet guys always want a relationship with her.

 

Life is cruel!

 

Anyway, I am thinking I should approach this new chick differently. Maybe instead of texting and emailing for a day or two, and then meeting in a public dining facility for more chat; maybe I should just tell her I want to go to her place and nail her.

 

Ok, my old friend Suze is begging me to do a Twatter Account. I will try to set one up tonight, but I have no idea what to do. So if any of you have a Twatter account, look for me tomorrow and do whatever it is you do to let me know if I got it right.

 

Whatever?

My Journal #323 - My FINAL Bloody Sunday Journal

Seriously, this is the LAST journal about my “Bloody Sunday”.

For those keeping score, it is definitely over with Mustang. She was in a relationship for years and found her man cheating not once but twice. And she thinks I am lying to her about the events that unfolded Sunday night. She told me that she doesn’t know if she could compete with “all the women that throw themselves at me.”

[Sure, that happens . . . right . . . ]

And for the first time in years I sort of believe that not telling the truth might have been a good thing. But then again, if I didn’t tell her about my evening then I would have carried that in my mind. I’m not good at that. And even though I told the truth, she finds it hard to believe me.
 
It is NOBODY’S fault but mine. I make my own decisions and if they blow up on me then only I am to blame. I chose to help a friend of four years instead of having sex with a lady I’ve known for three weeks. And for the record, I’d have done the same for any of you.

And I’d do it again if Sunshine needed me.

Nothing bad happened. But it’s hard to prove you didn’t do something.

[The fucking story of my life!]

Since Sunday night my other prediction has proven correct as well.

• Sunshine left me in “Boom-Fuck” Egypt Sunday night and didn’t give it a second thought. I asked her why and SHE IGNORED ME!
• I asked her for a favor. SHE IGNORED ME!
• I needed help. SHE IGNORED ME!
• I asked for some personal property back that I loaned her. SHE IGNORED ME!
• And tomorrow if I ask her how she is doing . . . . SHE WILL IGNORE ME!

So I will ask for my property back again. If she ignores me I will be angry.

~ UPDATE ~

I heard from Mustang. She went to a Happy Hour to “get over me”. Her friends found a picture of us together. She told me that her friends told her she was crazy not to talk to me. She said their exact comments were . . .

• “That’s the hottest Cowboy I’ve ever seen.” (I wore my black Levis and Ropers that night with my black Stetson)
• “I’ll do him if you won’t!”
• “It’s no wonder women flirt with him!”

That was good for my ego.

Then she told me she would give her friends my number if I wanted. She would like to be friends.

I’ll give her some time and then call her again. But if I’ve lost her I will be fine because I did nothing wrong. I just helped someone I consider a friend . . . even if that person looks at me as some idiot.

[I’m a lot smarter than I look!]

Good night Mustang!

 

 

What a babe, right?

My Journal #322 - Bored

First, I can never retire. I took today off (since I was chauffeuring Sunshine around until after 2 am) and figured I needed to sleep. I still got up at 5 am. I had an entire day and my only project was to put out some Halloween lights.

I WAS SO BORED!

Second, Mustang cancelled our lunch date today. But she did finally reply to a text message. One reply is better than none, right.

Third, the 24 hour rule kicks in soon. That is the rule that Sunshine will talk to me for about 24 hours after we see each other. Then she vanishes again and ignores any attempts to communicate. So after 24 hours I stop trying. But we chatted a bit today and I still have her top and she still has my jersey. (long story but nothing kinky) And I need my jersey back by Sunday so we will have to talk again.

Fourth, I haven’t been real talkative lately. Sorry friends, I’ve just had so much drama this weekend and I have been trying real hard to impress Mustang. And yes, I’ve been thinking about Sunshine too (don’t hate me Martel; and yes I know she has other interests)

Fifth, and again don’t hate me . . . . but I’m worried about Sunshine. I think she’s on a collision course with a major disaster. I am no longer a part of her life so I can’t ask, press or force her to talk. But just so we all know, if she’s hurting then I am hurting. Sorry, it can’t be helped.

Sixth, I have four days of work and then ten days off. I damn well better get together a list of things to do or I may be jumping off a building by day two. And hopefully Mustang will like me again by then and we can hang out some.

That’s it. Two Journal entries in one day . . . like I said, I’m bored.