My Journal 053

“A good friend is like a good bra. It’s not the looks that count, it’s what is inside.”

I heard this line yesterday and it stuck with me. If you know me then you understand why it stuck. If you don’t know me then I’ll clue you in. What is inside a person and what is inside of a bra are both incredibly interesting to me. Today we will discuss what is inside of people. I will address bras on another date.

You see, I’ve been experiencing a unique situation recently and the topic of what is inside a person has been on my mind a lot. Thus . . . today’s discussion.

I consider myself to be a very simple guy with which to get along. I don’t believe in or adhere to social norms, and I don’t alienate people whether they do or don’t. I believe that we live in a free country. So if you want to smoke, drink, do drugs, eat yourself to 500 pounds, have daily sex with farm animals or whatever, it’s not my problem. I don’t judge people and I do enjoy differing opinions, personalities, and life styles. It’s educational to me.

But I do offer suggestions from time to time, and that could be considered as lecturing people. I try to do it in a positive fashion though. My directness can be confused for challenging a person. I do offer additional alternatives as opposed to bashing someone’s personal choices. I enjoy verbal communication and tolerate digital communication. I prefer verbal communication so I can observe the person as it lends me to a better process of understanding and / or making a point.

None of this will preclude me from associating with someone. My choices are based on my personal evaluation of whether a person can and will fit into my world. It’s my world so it’s my choice, right?

I have a very simple set of requirements in order to associate with me. (Yes, we’ve gone over this before . . . it’s a reminder) Some people have many expectations and at times it makes it almost impossible to comply with all of them and maintain your own personal identity. So I’ve come up with just three requirements.

·          Like me. I am opinionated, aggressive, direct, and often a pain in the ass. I would guess if you didn’t like me you would avoid me. But just pretending to like me (or dealing with me) so you can get something from me is not acceptable.

·          Be honest with me. Please note that I did not say to avoid lying to me. What I require is a bit more. If you want to associate with me then I require knowing anything that may affect me. And if you associate with me then you should know what will affect me.

·          Make time in your day for me. I don’t need to spend every night with you, but checking in from time to time is more what I am describing. If I find myself being the only one initiating communication then I feel that I am imposing . . . and I stop.

See, I am very simple. Why would anyone choose not to associate with me?

However . . .

I have the right to decide if I will associate with ANYONE. Just because I don’t judge a person for who they are or what they do does not mean I will accept them into my world. I meet someone and make a choice to associate with them or to avoid them. This choice is based on data collected during the initial meeting, and I do lend some credence to any prior comments made by individuals with which I have previously chosen to associate. But I do make my own choices.

I call this period where I am evaluating a person as my temporary status period. I find a person that I believe can meet my requirements and I place them on a temporary status while I determine if they will in fact meet my requirements. This status is usually resolved one way or another within a matter of days or weeks. But it has been known to traverse several months.

Some people will never make the cut. Some people may be eliminated during the temporary status period. And yes, some may be eliminated after they have been accepted. You see, I’m good at evaluating people but I am not perfect. Sometimes I am deceived or I interpret actions and / or situations incorrectly. Once the truth rises to the surface, I move them to the group that I avoid. Or I may just change my mind.

This is the point that I will remind you of the original topic. I am very interested in what is inside of people. The problem is that most people will tell you who they want to be, and not necessarily who they really are. It’s not always to deceive other people though. Sometimes they desperately want to be someone else and they are trying very hard to be that person even though they are aware that they are very different.

I don’t care how you look, how you talk, what you believe in, or how you live your life. I want to know what is inside of you and if you can comply with my three simple requirements. The requirements are firm, but my interpretation of the individual may slack on one or more requirements from time to time. But again I reserve the right to make that call and I don’t have to apply it consistently. It’s my life and I can change as I see fit.

The problem I face is devising a program to find out who someone really is ON THE INSIDE. My basic plan of attack is to listen to them, make notes of specific issues or topics, and then bring them up again later in the conversation or relationship. The purpose is to see if I get a similar response. My purpose is not to “play games”, but to get them to admit the truth. I want to know what’s REALLY on the inside, not what they want to be on the inside.

Keep in mind that most people do not know what I am doing. So just because I am enlightening you does not mean I am insane or a bad guy. I’m really trying to do the right thing. I mean wouldn’t it be great if everyone came with an ingredients card that was tattooed to their forehead. This could list any and all traits to make it easy to understand the person. But that is not reality, so other methods have been chosen.

The reason for discussing this topic today (instead of bras, which is a far more exciting topic) is that recently I have had a series of disappointments by individuals with which I associate. And I really don’t disappoint easily. I don’t know if I am becoming very bad at evaluating people or if people have come up with new techniques to hide themselves. Whatever the reason, the facts are the same. I’ve sucked at this a few times.

I even wonder if I am too critical. Should I just accept that people will associate with me simply for their benefit and refuse any benefit to me? Maybe everyone has things that they chose not to be honest about, even if it affects others? Maybe people don’t want to make time for relationships and prefer to have the relationship only when it is convenient for them? Maybe we are just becoming a “me, me, and me” society with no concern for other people?

Who knows?

I just know it is definitely not me that has a grip on the concept. But I keep trying and I guess that as I learn more about people I just modify the list of those with which I associate. But it sure makes life a whole lot tougher.

Urgh, I have a headache now. I think I’ll go imagine all of you in your bras instead.

My Journal 052

I believe in a supreme being.

Now I’m not fully convinced that all the miracles that I’ve read about actually happened as they are written. I have read the bible cover to cover more than once. I do apply my own thoughts and logic to the interpretation of the words as opposed to having some salesman try to convince me in his church. But I do believe that there is something out there.

Mine is called god.

We talk frequently. We have a scheduled conference call every night just before I pass out. And when I say we talk I mean just that, we just talk. Granted, my god doesn’t answer. But it is refreshing to believe that someone cares enough to listen to my crap, and since he doesn’t answer me I feel confident he will keep the secrets I reveal to him on the “down low”.

I don’t ask for things of him. Well, I do ask him to take care of people I am concerned about, but nothing for me. About twice in my life, during extremely intense moments, I did scream out for a wish (I guess you call it a wish). Unfortunately I got nada. So to me my god is a chat buddy.

As I mentioned, we have a scheduled conference call every night, and last night’s was what I will discuss today. Our meeting always goes something like this; I thank him for what I’ve gotten, I ask him to watch over / help people I know who are hurting or ill or just having a really bad time, I ask him to grant all of you your wishes, I pray for my friends and family health, wealth and happiness, and I finish by reciting the Lord’s Prayer. Yup, that’s been the routine since I was old enough to remember.

But last night went a little different. You see, after the Lord’s Prayer I tend to fall asleep. And for this week at least I have been passing out VERY early. So last night I start to doze, but I’ve got this shit stain on my brain. I’ve got this dilemma that I can’t figure out or get past. It’s not like driving me nuts or anything, at least not yet. But it’s really bugging the crap out of me.

So I think, “Hey, I just finished my conference call and I don’t ask for things ever, so why not try just this once and see what happens. So I dial up my god again. He already knew about my dilemma, as we had discussed it before. But this time I asked him for a favor. I didn’t ask him to make me rich, or beautiful, or to make someone else drive off of a bridge; I’m not that naïve. But what I did ask for was a sign or signal to help me figure shit out.

I know, I suck at signs and signals . . . we’re getting to that.

Now I already have some preconceived notions about my dilemma. So as I am asking, I find the urge to clarify. See I figure if he gives me this tiny sign, like a swallow flying past me to let me know my preconceived notions are wrong; well I’ll freakin’ miss it. Maybe because I want to miss bad news, I don’t know. So I asked for a pretty obvious sign. I want a sign with something more along the lines of a building falling over or something. Not that I want a building to fall over, it’s just a suggestion. The point is don’t be subtle with me as I am not a subtle person . . . as most of you have realized.

As usual, once I had my chat I tend to doze off. I really didn’t expect an angel to appear immediately with a piece of paper that read, “FROM THE DESK OF GOD” or anything; but I sort of hoped I would have a feeling or something. But, I got nothing so I slept.

Now this is where it starts to get interesting.

I wake up about an hour later. I never wake up until it is time to get up, so this is odd to begin. Then, as I awake I have this urge to do something. (No, I won’t tell you what as this was a personal conference call) Anyway, it something odd that I had not thought to do before. It something I believed to be true. And before I could think through all the process as I usually have to do, I found that I had already done it. Poof!

I don’t know why, it just happened.

Anyway, I fall right back to sleep then and don’t wake again until my alarm goes off at 3:15 AM. I do my usual early morning routine (Don’t ask) and I get up to take a leak. That is when I remembered what happened last night; only now my brain is at a full gallop and I am more aware. I realize that what I did would trigger a chain reaction. But to my surprise, there was NO reaction whatsoever.

At first I am confused. But then I think back and remember that I had asked for a sign, a BIG sign. At that moment I had no doubt that this was my sign. I had asked in a sleepy stupor. I had awaken in a partially unconscious state and done something abnormal for me. And now, while fully alert I can see the consequences of those actions. I got my sign.

So, in case you were wondering; my god is more than a chat buddy. And I don’t face the same dilemma today.

Oh, and thanks for putting up with my EMERGENCY text yesterday. I’m not sure if it was the increased pain, or the boredom, or my typical levels of horny; but almost everyone responded and I had a ball with your responses . . . . and your suggestions. It’s nice to know what friends will do for you in a pinch.

Have a super day!

My Journal 051

It has been a few days since I have written down anything. I had a “little” accident and have been dealing with increased amounts of pain. It’s hard to be insightful or humorous when in this condition. I will be fine soon; I always do reach that point eventually.

I will share a few points about me and my old injuries, as well as my concept of the future.

My most serious injury was playing football. On one play I broke my ankle, had two spiral fractures on my leg, a compound fracture below the knee, and tore some crap in my knee. I was told I would never play football again, and that by the time I was 35 years of age I would probably require a walker.

HA! Well sort of Ha.

I was able to play football for about 3 more years very effectively. But then my knee gave out again and I was never able to play beyond that time. As for the walker, in February prior to my 35^th birthday I ran a 10K race finishing in 42 minutes and 17 seconds. Ladies, this equates to a sub seven minute mile pace for over 6 miles. I ran another last year in 48 minutes and 50 seconds.

I KNOW, you are thinking, “There he goes again bragging!”

Heck yes I am! I finished 2^nd and 1^st place in my respective age brackets during those races. But get this, compared to the 20 to 30 year old bracket I still would have finished 12^th place out of 600 people at 34 years of age. At 49 years of age I would have finished 63^rd out of 700 people younger than 30 years of age. Now that is worth bragging about, right?

Ok, since my little accident I was prescribed morphine. I haven’t taken one yet. Hey, it’s mind over matter. Now I have consumed large amounts of alcohol, but that is mostly for fun. I was told to remain on crutches for 4 weeks. I stayed off of my leg for two days, and now I stumble around in a boot with a knee brace. I will put up with this junk until Friday.

What can I say? My body heals fast because I demand it.

I will never take a pain pill as long as I live. I will never use a walker or a darn wheelchair. I will never refuse to pull my own load. You see, I believe that once you give in to the pain you have lost. Pain is just a warning and it can be ignored.

Ok, my broken fingers are swelling again so I have to stop now. Hey, does any of you own a nurse’s uniform?

Hehehehe!

My Journal 050

Wow, can you imagined? I’ve written 50 Journals so far. I bet you never knew I had so much to say, right?

SO – A TOAST TO ILLOGICAL RAMBLINGS, OUR NEW HOME AWAY FROM REALITY.

Now you would think that I would have something really spectacular to write on this momentous occasion. Ha-ha, wrong again. It’s just the typical non-sensical ramblings. Sorry if I disappoint you (Not really J)

It’s Saturday morning, around 5:30 am. Yup, I am up and going. And guess what, I’m at work. Yup, for three years when I started this job I worked every weekend and finally made a deal that someone else can handle the weekend duties. But as usual this changed. SO here I am, once again.

Anyway, last night I am driving down the freeway and I see a school bus full of High School Football players going to a game. It’s actually playoff time in Texas, so this team was apparently good enough to make the state playoffs. Now some of you may be from other states, so let me explain what this means here in Texas.

Football is KING! And most cities in Texas literally shut down on Friday nights to watch the local boys play. Football in Texas is HUGE, and High School football is the biggest draw. Texas supplies more football players to the NFL each year that any other state in the union. Texas youths are put on running, lifting and diet programs in Junior High School preparing them for the level of competition they will be facing.

So, High School football in Texas is a really big deal as typified by such movies as “Friday Night Lights”, “Varsity Blues”, and the infamous “Meat on the Hoof”.

And of course I played football in the state of Texas. I don’t mean to brag, but I was All District three years in a row, All City twice at two positions, and All State once at two different positions. I was in Dave Campbell’s Texas Football Monthly as one of the top 100 athletes in Texas in 1977. And I receive three athletic scholarship offers upon graduation.

Now I assume that you all know about football. But perhaps you don’t know what goes on behind the scenes. So today I will share my old PRE-GAME RITUALS with you. This may be boring, but . . .

My Game Day started with my mom making my Game Day breakfast. She would have three steaks, a bag of hash brown potatoes, and a dozen fried eggs ready for me at 5:00 am. That may sound like a lot, but I was 6’ 1” and weighed 205 pounds. My waist was only 26” around and my chest was 52”. I ate everything and anything all day long, and couldn’t gain another ounce. A typical lunch for me was 6 hamburgers, 6 fries, and gallons of lemonade. So this breakfast was the fuel I would be burning during my game.

I travelled to school every morning for 4 years with the same 4 guys. Bobby, Scott, Tony and Jessie. So around 5:30 Bobby would show up and honk. We would drive together to the field house and each game day we listened to Ritchey Blackmore’s Rainbow. IN four years of driving together, no one ever spoke in the mornings. On game days, we were all focused on the war we had that night.

My school was a division 5 school, which was the top division in Texas. But the school was basically a country school. It was located about 8 miles outside of the city. So basically we were a bunch of country boys. Compared to other schools in the same division in Texas, we were small and slow. But we all grew up together, knew EVERYTHING about each other (strengths and weaknesses) and worked as a team. So even though we weren’t a team of super-stars, as a group we were pretty darn good.

But we all knew that we would be battling kids bigger, stronger and faster than us every week. So we began our focus very early in the day.

Upon arrival at the field house, we had stretching exercises to do. Then we each would watch some more film of our opponent. As a defensive back, I would watch  films that only showed our opponent’s pass plays and it mainly was about the one guy I had to cover that night. Each game I was assigned to cover the best receiver on the other team. My goal was to keep him from catching a single pass.

Now I played some offense too. I was an “H” back, which meant I came in on critical plays. When I came into the game on offense, everyone in the stadium knew that I was there to get the ball somehow. This made it difficult as the other team would design defenses specifically to keep me from succeeding. So after I did films, I met with the offensive coaches to go over the game plan for getting me the ball.

Then I would shower and take a nap.

Now back in my day, if you played football then school was definitely secondary. I had two period of physical education in the morning. That was my morning practice time. Then I had one real class, where I usually slept more. Then I had an hour and a half lunch. Well my real lunch was the required 30 minutes, but the coaches taught a “Sports History” class which met in the film room or cafeteria. After this, I usually had another class, and another nap. Then I had two more Physical Education classes, which was my afternoon workout time.

On Game Day, I didn’t attend classes.

Around 9:30 there would be a pep rally. My Spirit Girl would come into the field house and wake me up. I would slip on my jersey and walk out to the football field, where all the students would have gathered. There would be bands playing, cheering, introductions, speeches, etc. I believe the concept was to motivate the team. But we didn’t need cheers to motivate us. So I sort of believe this was really to motivate the rest of our school.

After this pep rally, my boys and I would leave school. We went to a field in the hills north of our school. Each of us had a spot where we would go to alone and just think about shit. Mine was this really big ash tree in the middle of a clearing. I could look up at the hills and the rolling grass and it put my mind at ease.

We had to be back for more film study and lunch around 11:00. My lunch was a bag of pears. This was my fluid for the game. I usually ate between 20 to 30 pears during our film study.

After lunch the press stuff began. If one of the local radio stations or TV stations had requested me for an interview, I had to attend. If I was not selected then I just wandered the campus for an hour or so.

Around 3:00, we all got together for our PRE-GAME meal. For years the Home Economics class prepared this for us. But some kid complained that it wasn’t fair that the school provided us meals and not him. So it got cancelled. Hey, go risk your body every day for 5 months a year and then you can complain about what I got for free. Oh, by the way, the 20,000 people that paid $5 - $10 to watch me play every week was actually paying for your stupid computers, so shut up!

After that deal was cancelled, the school made a deal with Luby’s. So we would all pile into our cars and drive to Luby’s to eat. Now by this time of the day, we were getting a bit wired. It was closer to battle time, and all these aggressive, alpha males were beginning to get riled up. So on the way back from eating, we smoked a little to relax. Yup, the football team got drugs too . . . for free.

As soon as I got back I took another shower. This was a long, hot shower usually lasting about an hour. Then I would air dry while putting on my “walkman” and listening to my favorite motivation tunes. I spent the next hour or so in the training room getting taped, and shot up.

I had both ankles taped, this was required to step onto any field in Texas. I also had my knees taped and my wrists. Basically, the knee taping was to hold me together long enough to play a game that night. Oh, and let’s not forget the shots. There was a drug called “Instant Freeze”. Once injected, the area injected was completely numb for about 6 hours. I mean you didn’t feel anything at all.

I would get two shots in each ankle, three shots in each knee, and two shots in my bad left shoulder. You got it right, I would get 12 shots every day of my life throughout High School, just to make the pain bearable. Then the trainer would give us our PRE-GAME drugs. It was a cup of about a dozen pills. I know that some of them were Fosfree, which is a salt to keep you from cramping up. I guess the rest were uppers of some kind.

I usually finished this process about an hour before we were scheduled to leave for the game. I was now clean, taped, shot up, and drugged. All that was left was getting my mind ready. I would place a tackling dummy over the stalls of the restroom. I would climb up to the ceiling, put a different tape in my “Walkman” and listen to speeches from famous leaders in history. What can I say, I got pumped up listening. Oh, for the record, I was still completely naked. I never put on a stitch of clothing until it was time to go to war.

Bobby would always come get me when it was time to suit up. That is when I would begin dressing out. From the waist down I would be ready to go. But I left my upper body in a workout “shimmel” shirt for the trip to the stadium. I now switched my “walkman” to the radio. Yup, I listened to the PRE-GAME show for my own game.

We had people to unload any gear we weren’t wearing when we arrived at the stadium. The players were usually the first to arrive, then the bands, then the cheerleaders and dance teams, and finally the fans. So my first quest was to inspect the field. If it wasn’t my stadium, I would walk every foot of the field, looking for holes and bad patches. My legs were already becoming shit at that age, so I wanted to know where every hole was so I could try to avoid them.

After that I would stand on the field and watch the game in my mind. I would run through everything I wanted to have happen and see it vividly in my mind. I was a firm believer that if you could see something happening, then you could make it happen. I still believe in that philosophy.

Then we would go inside the dressing room and finish “gearing up” for the game. We would have to consume 2 quarts of this fluid. It was like Kool-Aid with a ton of sale dumped into it. Again, it was designed to keep us from becoming dehydrated and cramping. I hated the taste of that crap, and to this day I can’t drink Kool-Aid.

Once every one was ready we would exit the dressing rooms and enter the tunnel leading to the field. By this time the stadium would be full. You could hear the rising cheers as fans were beginning to anticipate our arrival. Bands were playing loudly, cheerleaders were jumping and screaming, and fans were in a frenzy ready for the onslaught to begin.

I have repeated the next statement many times in my life. Today, I live a life of pain. Every day my knees, ankles, back, neck, shoulder and elbow hurt so bad that I have trouble moving on cold mornings. I have a dead spot on my brain from my 6 concussions. My nose clogs or bleeds occasionally form the 7 broken noses I suffered. But . . .

“ANY ONE THAT RAN OUT OF THAT TUNNEL ONE TIME, LISTENING TO 20,000 PEOPLE SCREAMING FOR YOUR TEAM AND SCREAMING YOUR NAME, FULLY EXPECTING YOU TO WIN A GAME FOR THEM . . . THEN THAT FEELING IS WORTH A LIFETIME OF PAIN!!!”

My Journal 049

So I’ve got a favor to ask. Send a friend to my page. I need more followers (Not that I don’t appreciate the "hotties" I have now) Just make sure it’s a female and she’s hot! J OK, the hot part is not important; I just don’t want a bunch of dudes reading my stuff.

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I’ve had a real busy few days and a lot on my mind lately. Nope, it’s nothing earth shattering. It’s just time to make another change in my world. Even though I am ready for a change, I do have to plan it out step by step.

NO, I AM NOT ANAL!

I am a very organized person. I enjoy planning things to a “T”. I am competitive, so I take the plan I created and score it based on reality. Then I compare it to other plans and rate, or score, myself. But don’t worry that I am not a risk taker. That’s why god invented alcohol. And I’ve done some really wild shit when drunk before.

I want to do a questionnaire, but I have no idea how you will be able to respond. Not everyone knows how to reach me. And of course the questions I will ask will probably get this web page shut down.

For example, “What is your favorite sexual position and why?”

[See what I mean]

Ok, now for some end of week shout outs!

Bananarama – I’m all over dinner and a movie!

Sunshine – Did you wear your pin yesterday? Oh, have a great trip!

Latin Lover – Hello??? Where is my free drink?

Sexy Sara – Invitation? Me? Woohoo!

Today I want to tell you about my old friend Frank. We met in 1978 (or maybe 1979). He was assigned to the Army Special Forces. He worked with me about 5 times back then. If you looked at him you would guess that he was a librarian or something. He was small in stature and not very social. But he had skills.

First, he was a computer genius / hacker. He could get into anything. Now back then this skill was valuable. But when he retired this skill became incredibly financially rewarding to him. He would find out everything about anyone for a fee. I was always amazed how much information is out there about people. And not just stuff on the internet. He could get his hands on all sorts of stuff.

Second, he was the mechanic. He could see things in his head that no one else could see. If you needed to get to Nowhere, Iowa; in his mind immediately this plan would begin to form. He could see every possible pitfall, and have a secondary plan in mind instantly. His mind was amazing. And he never wrote anything down. It was all engraved in his mind.

It’s difficult to say how many times he saved lives with a note or a call. I’m guessing he saved my butt at least 5 times. But to him that was just his job. Nothing to him was personal, it was all just data.

We became friends during our time together. We remained friends until today (Yes, even though he passed I still consider him a friend). But our friendship wasn’t like a normal friendship. We are both very direct and honest, so most of our conversations ended in arguments. But nothing was ever taken as personal, well almost never.

My only regret with Frank is that our last conversation was in fact an argument that may have been sort of personal. Maybe not to him, but it was to me. I also had agreed to help him, and bailed out on him at the last possible moment. He wasn’t real happy. So our last chat didn’t go well.

I’d love to have that time back. As usual, the point he was making in our argument proved to be true; which made me feel even worse. Basically (without going into details), the reason I bailed (which was from my heart and not my mind) was valid to me at the moment I decided. He told me I was wrong and could prove it. He never made decisions from the heart. I didn’t want his proof; I preferred to go with my gut. Within a day I realized that my gut was wrong.

But I am a much better person today because of what I learned from him. And it is very possible that if he wasn’t as brilliant as he was, I wouldn’t be here today.

So if you enjoy my words, my company, or my friendship; then you owe Frank a big “THANK YOU” also. This is why I bring him up today.

He is buried just south of Mexico City. I will visit him once a year. I visited him recently and he’s doing great . . . and he loves you as much as I do. He would just never tell you, but I will.

Have a great weekend.

Veterans Day

Today is Veterans Day. Today I wear my special forces pin and will ask that Sunshine wears hers. No writing today, just remember those that have sacrificed so you can be exactly as you are today, and do the things you want.

I'm not a veteran, but I was there. God Bless America!

My Journal 048

I hear that the position that you sleep in is supposed to tell something about you. I seriously doubt that to be true, but I love interesting crap like this. So how do you sleep and what do you wear?

Ok, I’ll go first.

As far as attire goes, it sort of depends on whether I’ve been drinking or not. On a “normal” night I have a large pair of gym shorts that I wear. I’ve never been able to wear a top or socks and still sleep. Actually, I can sleep best with nothing. But I have this strange fear of having to jump out of bed and dash out doors to prevent vandalism or theft. I just don’t think running out the door naked would scare . . . .

Well crap, maybe seeing me run out a door in the middle of the night naked would scare most people.

Anyway, it’s usually gym shorts. But if I’ve been drinking it could be my jeans or my boxers. Lord knows, sometimes after drinking I fall asleep driving home. Stripping is not as important then.

The second point of note is that I PREFER sleeping in a warm environment (Have I mentioned I hate the cold?) So my perfect sleeping environment is a warm night, window open, and on top of the covers. Now here is the weirder thing. Even if it is cold, and I have 20 blankets on top of me, my feet have to be uncovered. I don’t know why, I just can’t sleep with my feet covered.

Finally, I don’t require much sleep. Three or four hours a night usually suits me. Now I will take a few 10 minute “snoozes” during the day. But as far as sleep it is rare that I sleep for longer than 4 hours.

Ok, now on to the position that I sleep in.

I have had a broken neck, and I have three broken vertebrae in my lower back. So EVERY night my first position is on my stomach, feet hanging off the bed, pillow resting under my chest and chin. Odd huh?

As soon as I hit this position, I feel my body aligning. Apparently during the day the back and neck compress. So I lie in this position and absolutely love the feeling of everything aligning again. I can’t even begin to describe how good this feels, but trust me when I say it is AWESOME.

Now, if I stay in this position all night it actually begins to create more problems. So usually around an hour later I roll over on my back, with the pillow under my head. That is where I stay until I awake.

I can’t sleep on my side at all. I have broken my left wrist, forearm, and elbow. Also, I have a piece of bone missing from my left shoulder. It is the piece that holds the shoulder in its position. When I end up on my left side, my shoulder will come out of its socket. So whoever is near me gets to observe me walking around trying to knock it back in place.

On the ride side of my body I have had three fractured ribs, a broken hip, a broken collar bone and a fracture on the right side of my tailbone. So if I roll over onto my right side I have pretty good pain that begins, enough to wake me up at least.

Have I mentioned that I have had 32 broken bones?

I have no idea what all that means other than I have had a VERY active and exciting life. Yet I deal with a lot of pain on a regular basis. So you can read up and tell me about me based on my sleep positions.

AND . . .

Since you know me and you know I hate to bore people, I’ll expand my sleeping activities chat to include . . .

Yup, you guessed it . . . . SEX.

First and foremost I must share that anytime, anyplace, and any position works for me. That being said, I actually enjoy a lot of variety in the location selection. Being a guy, and knowing that I think about it most of the day, I constantly catch myself somewhere thinking to myself, “Wow, look at that spot. If she would get into this position; and I was in that position . . . “

I know. I’m weird. And truthfully about half of my “ideas” don’t work out like I had imagined. But I do try them, and when they do work it’s really different and way cool. I mean, no complaints yet.

Yes, I will get back to the bed portion of this topic.

You see, I prefer being on my feet during a hot “whoopee session”. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the athlete in me. You know, we always have to stay on our feet during a BIG PLAY. So attacking from behind while my partner is leaning over a couch, a chair or something is my preference.

Umm, excuse me for about 5 minutes please.

Ok, I’m back now (and much more relaxed). Anyway, beds work too.

Again, if I have a preference I am a morning person. To this day, every morning when I wake I look like a 16 year old punk virgin waking from a good dream. Ya know what I mean? So the first thing in the morning would be my preference. I enjoy the control of being on top (Yes, I’m a control freak), but I also very much like to watch while lying on my back. Yes, I am very visual.

I don’t EVER do bondage or handcuffs. That goes back to my 10 days of horror in Africa, which I’ve hinted about before. Again, I don’t share those stories but maybe someone will get close enough someday to get me to share. But trust me, I won’t be bound again. Sorry.

Now it is your turn.

I’m waiting?!?!?

TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

Oh, just email it to me. I’ll read it tomorrow morning. (Hehe)