My Journal 065

I stopped at my usual bar one evening last week to have a drink while traffic cleared out for the evening. I was sitting at the bar when a girl sat on the stool next to me. She gave me her name (which has since slipped my mind) and asked if I would buy her a drink.

For those of you that don’t know, last week was an extremely frustrating and disappointing week for me. When I have had moments like that I tend to be very short with people. Prior to this girl’s arrival I was very content sipping on my beer, gazing at the TV, and pondering my thoughts. Before I even looked her way, or even knew I was speaking I heard myself say, “And what do I get out of the deal?”

It probably was rude, but I’ll stick with just being short with her. Immediately after I heard my own words, I assumed I would get a nasty look, a comment or that she would simply move away. But she was a good sport I guess so she quipped back, “You will get the pleasure of my company and someone to talk to for a while. And if you are half as entertaining as you are sexy then maybe more later.”

Yes, I think that she hit on me. But that isn’t the point of this journal. We did have a few drinks and some nice conversation. But what hit me later were her initial action and her comment. And no, I didn’t take her home. She walked me to my car, gave me a hug and a really decent kiss, but I left alone. Remember that I was in a funky mood last week. She was a brunette anyway.

But these two questions were on my mind later that night.

·          When did it become acceptable for females to pander for drinks in a bar?

·          If we had proceeded to sex, would we have committed an act of prostitution?

As far as I can remember, females approach guys to buy their drinks. I guess it is the standard because I have heard from many women that they can go out with little or no cash and always have a good evening and plenty to drink. I wondered if it had always been that way. Maybe in the 18^th century women had to buy their own drinks. But by definition they are pandering.

I wondered what would have happened if I had walked up to a female and reversed the conversation. Could you see me, or any guy, asking a female to buy them a drink in exchange for the pleasure of my company? Am I worth two drinks just to be seen with? Am I entertaining enough to justify a drink for conversation arrangement? I think that I am.

There are many nights when I want to go out but I realize that I have just enough cash for me. I actually don’t go out on occasions for this one reason. That’s not right. If I have twenty dollars, and want to have 3 drinks I should be able to go an enjoy them. But instead I worry about not having enough to cover someone else’s drinks so I don’t go. I just find this as odd.

Now let us discuss the second question. Based on her exact words, a prudent man (me included) could ascertain that if we purchase alcohol for the female then we are investing in an opportunity for sex. Isn’t this sort of the definition of prostitution? I believe the definition is an agreement to exchange money (or goods) for sex. So by her stating that sex is an option if I were to spend money and then we actually do have sex, isn’t she a prostitute and I am a John?

I am bright enough to realize that a good lawyer would argue that there was no guarantee of sex, thus no prostitution existed. But I put this to you, if I am confident that I will be able to “charm” her out of her panties simply by buying her drinks, would I know that that there was a guarantee of sex? And if I believed that there was a guarantee of sex wouldn’t we go back to an act of prostitution?

It makes me wonder. But it really should make all my female readers wonder more. Right? What will you be thinking the next time you ask a guy to buy you a drink?

Horoscope for Saturday, January 15, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

You may find your passionate feelings about a certain person are creating a revolution in your life. You are realizing that there is no reason to worry about getting too carried away. Intensity is the fuel that is keeping your relationship alive, and also keeping you on your toes right now. It is bringing a vital and wonderful breath of fresh air into your life.

Hahaha, if only you guys knew!!!!

My Journal 064

How about a bonus weekend posting to make you think?

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

What is Satan's last name?

Where does the toe tag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

Do they bury people with their braces on?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?

If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?

Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

If a transvestite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of half and half?

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

Can you daydream at night?

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as you’re following the direction of the traffic?

When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

How can something be "new" and "improved"? If it's new, what was it improving on?

Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

Do prison buses have emergency exits?

Can a black person join the KKK?

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

Who was Sadie Hawkins?

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Do you yawn in your sleep?

If a cannibal was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electrocuted for his last meal?

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?

If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?

What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?

What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?

Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "It went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Can you cry under water?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun doesn’t shine” on a nude beach?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?

If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

What do you call male ballerinas?

How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?

Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?

Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

My Journal 063

For those of you that know Kat, I went to see her after work last night. She sends her love and said, “Tell my bitches to stay in line”. She is doing ok, all things considered. As fate would have it, Banana-rama and I watched one of those scared straight shows last night. Please send your prayers her way.

Ok, my weekly shout outs:

Banana-rama – Thanks again for being so cool last weekend. Our chat may have been embarrassing, but very important. And I have more to discuss if you are still cool.

LL – I guess this is another of those times that we don’t talk? I’m still here.

Lovelygirl – God, I soooo super missed you. And thanks for trying to reach out to my friend.

Suze – No / Yes / Austin.

Icyrose – Hello?????

If you remember, I visited Mexico a week ago. This trip was basically just to “hamper” a distribution service. We tore up some roads, etc. I was shot at for the first time in like 20 years, but it was a farmer. I guess he thought I was trespassing or something.

Anyway, I asked each of you, in one form or another, a question pertaining to the concept of would you do badly for enough money. All but one responded with a definite “NO”. The other response was a series of questions about the evil deed. This is why I asked that question.

I was with this guy one night and we were destroying the entrance to a bridge. I had physically met with some of the bad guys and had a decent idea of their schedules, so no vehicles should be around us on this night. And I listened to how much money these guys made. It really made me ponder my choices.

I have always stood up for those that couldn’t do it themselves. I have always had this thought in my head that I am a good and decent guy. I have had my moments, but it was for the good of others when I was evil. Yet I thought about me being good and my current situation. I have a job I hate, I’m single because everyone thinks I screw every female within 300 miles of me, I have to sleep in a tent, in the cold, with ex-cons just because I have no cash and need money, I finally started caring about someone and I fucked it up, I have almost no friends . . . . basically life sucks.

Now I am speaking with these guys and they have no respect for women, morals, or relationships. They have sex with smoking hot chicks every single night. They have nice houses. They have tons of cash. They drink almost all the time, but are never drunk. I started thinking that maybe I chose the wrong path in life. This is why I asked each of you that question.

Anyway, the guy I am with on this particular night is ill. So he leaves. I am alone working in the hills. Suddenly a truck comes down the road. I panic. Now let me explain one more thing. I NEVER carry a weapon of any type. Not even a slingshot. This is probably a stupid rule since I suck at fighting. And I will not ever hurt (or worse) anyone again unless it is a life or death situation. So I am alone, unarmed, tired and cold when I see this truck. And yes, it is a transportation truck.

I manage to get them to swerve off of the road, where the guy inside bails and runs. Now the truck is parked in the woods about 50 feet from the road. And it is loaded with product. I do as my team had agreed and destroy the truck with its contents. But because of my recent epiphany, I remove one large container and bury it about a quarter of a mile deeper in the woods. I am the only person on earth that knows the location.

Here is my logic for this action. I am not sure if I can be a bad guy or not. But I am sort of sick of being such a nice guy and always getting fucked over by women, etc. So, by removing some product and stashing it where no one will ever find it but me, I now have a life time to decided if I want to be different. Based on my subsequent discussions, my guess is that I have hidden a little over a million dollars worth of product, that everyone else in the world believes is destroyed.

If I choose to continue being a nice guy and always getting fucked, then the product remains buried and no one is ever hurt. But if one day I decide I want money, booze and all the sex I can handle . . . all I have to do is retrieve it.

So today I ask each of you again an important question. If you could split a million dollars that no one knows exists, but in doing so would be aware that strangers as well as possibly your friends and / or family could be harming themselves due to your actions, what would you be willing to do to get it.

Would you lie?

Would you harm someone?

Would you prostitute yourself for a half of a million dollars?

No one would miss me if I vanished. Each of you has a network of friends and family. Would you be able to vanish?

This is what is on my mind today. Well this and one other thing that is a secret. Don’t respond here. Email me at illogical69@live.com and let me know.

Finally, I leave you with the lyrics to my personal all time favorite rock and roll Ballad. Great White’s Rock Me.

Sweet little baby, you don't have to go
Little baby, tell me you won't go
We'd be so good together if we had the time
Bein' alone's a nowhere state of mind

Lovin' ain't no crime, oh no
I see your man ain't here.
He don't care
And when the night is gone I will move on
Got to find a way to face another day

I search the world for someone I'll never find
Someone who ain't the hurtin' kind
If you stay the night.
We'll make the wrong seem right
So come on now...

Rock me
Rock me
Roll me through the night
We'll burn in love tonight

Sweet little baby, oh don't you go
You ain't so innocent, I know
I know your heart's like mine, oh yeah
And I will find the time to make you mine
And if your love goes bad, if it makes you sad
I'll be back for more at your door

Before the mornin' light,
we'll burn with love tonight

And when your man don't care, I will be there
Still be lovin' real good love...
There is no wrong or right, gonna fall in love
There's nothing left to do,
but make sweet love to you

Have a safe weekend! I love ya’ll!!!!

My Journal 062

So, this week I realized I had been having bad thoughts about someone in error. Go figure, I made a mistake. And to make matters worse, the incredible person I had the thoughts about is completely out of touch. Yes, I did send an email confessing and BEGGING for forgiveness.

Wish me luck!

Ok, on to new crap. Last night was one of my “tailgating buddies” birthdays. His wife was taking him to dinner, and wanted all of his friends to show up as a surprise. My first problem was the place. It was a place I had been asked to leave a scant three weeks ago for a “discussion” with the assistant manager. (Long story . . . not now). And my ex was there too.

We get along fine and since we have mutual cohorts we do go to several events together. Last night was similar. Now she dates fairly regularly, but we agreed not to publicize it. And last night she met a guy at this place and went out to have a smoke with him. I have no problem with this as I was hanging with my buddies anyway.

Apparently, the rest of the wives did have a problem with that. Unknown to me they had a chat with her at some point in the evening. Around 10:00 the daughter on one of my buddies asked me if I was ready to leave and if so would I give her a ride to a friend’s house. I agreed since I do get up rather early and my ex had already told me she was going out after dinner and had her own transportation arrangements. So I took the girl to her friends and then went back to the house.

My ex is waiting for me at the door. (Yes, we live in the same house but opposite ends of the house) She starts bitching at me for her friends bitching at her. Suddenly I am the bad guy for something someone else said. I just left.

For the record, it got down to 26 degrees last night. Oh, and I seriously hate the cold. Yes, I could have gotten a hotel room. But being the tight wad that I am I figured I would be in a room for all of about 4 hours to sleep, and it didn’t make sense to pay $80 for 4 hours sleep.

I am experienced at this though. I lived in my car for over 6 months last year. One friend allowed me to shower and do laundry at her place, but I stayed in my car for the evenings. But it was damn cold and I haven’t warmed up yet.

Oh well, life is funny right?

My Journal 061

As I have mentioned MANY times before, I have some very serious issues. One of these is trust. I do trust people; I just trust that they will screw me over when the opportunity presents itself. I really only have about three people I truly trust. That is very sad.

But last night I realized something amazing. Maybe it will stick as a rule and maybe not. But I thought I should share it with you. I do hate to mention people that read this journal, but once again I feel compelled. So no hard feelings, ok?

One person I trust very much is a person that when we met told me straight up front that she would deceive me any time it benefitted her and she would keep important information from me as she saw fit. Looking back on it; that really makes her the ONLY honest person I know.

I trust her because I know that she is probably lying, and she was honest about it. She always comes back later and tells me where she lied to me too. That was when I realized that everyone lies to some degree. Whether it is something simple like if someone asks you how you are today, and you are having a crappy day, but you don’t want to deal with it so your respond “fine”. That is deceiving also, but no harm comes of it.

So I have decided (for the first time in my life) to concentrate on why someone lied to me as opposed to the fact that they lied. I mean if they lied because they wanted to protect me, then that should warrant some credit. I will still be upset because I can handle myself just fine and I do seriously prefer the truth. But I will consider ignoring the lie IF I can understand the logic and it is sincere.

Since I DEMAND the truth I do give a lot of sympathy for the truth. I do not get angry when I find out I have been lied to. What I usually do is give the person a subtle hint that I am aware of the lie, giving them a chance to recant. But now I will settle for a simple explanation for why they lied. I don’t ever confront the lie directly as that usually kills my leverage.

I will continue to be very direct in my communication. That just makes life easier for me.

Anyway, I just thought I would share this new approach.

My story is coming along. I am doing four parts, so you will get it in installments. First, I will describe how I ended up in the mess I eventually got into. Second, I will describe what they did to me for 10 days; day by day and event by event. This may be a bit gruesome as these individuals were very determined to break me. Third, I will describe how I got away. This is the part where I am most ashamed. This is where I did things that you may never be able to forget or forgive, and that is why I have kept this story to myself. Also, this is why I keep begging you not to judge me based on that moment in my life, but to take my life as a whole and decide. Finally, I will describe how that event made me into what I am today.

Stay tuned!

My Journal 060

As promised I am working on my personal story. But until it is complete, read below for one of my "mini Stories". Enjoy!