It was Tuesday night. I was near the end of one of the most positive days of my life. I felt good, my head was clear, and everything was just sort of “clicking” along. It was so good I even told one of you how good a day I had experienced, and I usually don’t share that sort of stuff.
All of that changed. It wasn’t immediate though, it happened one event at a time over a five to six hour period. I remember thinking at one point, “What next?” The funny thing is usually when you think that it is because the crisis is over, but I knew then that it wasn’t.
One thing after another crumbled down. There were disappointing actions, shocking news, sad news, frightening behavior, a weapon discharged, and my arrest (again), and it all ended up with me lying in the grass staring up at a full moon at 2:00 am wondering what I ever did to deserve all this. But then again, I guess I really do know what I did.
I haven’t slept since. My mind is contemplating every aspect of life. Damn I’m tired.
My big question now is this; if you have been so bad in life that you now have no chance for happiness, why keep trying?
No comments:
Post a Comment