I believe that most of you are aware of the current challenges I face pertaining to my dad. It is difficult to watch a brilliant man go through this crap. Most of you have contacted me with kind words and support. Heck, Banana-rama asks almost every day if she can do anything.
[And she gets pissed when I always suggest the same thing! J]
Anyway, today I want to discuss my mom. It’s sort of a change of pace type of a thing.
Once as a little “buck-a-roo” I was chatting with my mom and she said something that stuck with me. As a little background, my mom is the greatest woman alive. She is pretty, fun, charming and engaging. Yet when crossed she can be the meanest person ever.
We had lots of talks in my youth, and she still has no problem stepping up to me (or anyone for that matter) and discussing anything that is bothering her. She doesn’t negotiate much though. When she addresses you, no matter how sweet she may sound, she is actually telling you what has to happen before she decides to kick your ass. But she smiles while she does it.
Now most of the chats we had I took with a grain of salt. You know what I mean. You sort of listen, you nod your head occasionally, you say “Huh?” a lot, and try to finish every time the phrase, “Oh, I see” will fit in. The funny thing is that many years later I would find out that what she was saying was pretty darned insightful, and always right. Dammit!
But this one particular chat was one that I got immediately. Unfortunately I can’t remember what we were discussing that brought us to her comment. But the point was the comment, and that part stuck.
She told me, “Baby, no matter how many times that beautiful Thanksgiving turkey is carried out of the kitchen and placed on that immaculate table in front of you; if you never get to taste it you WILL eventually not find it interesting anymore and go make a tuna sandwich.”
Maybe we were talking about females, Hmmmm?
Anyway, what I took from that conversation is that what you want, and what someone is willing to give to you, is fairly important to be aware of. This thought was reinforced just yesterday by Banana-rama. She was given the following advice. “Don’t make someone a priority when they view you only as an option”
Wow, stunning advice.
If two people both make the other a priority, then there will be success. If two people both consider the other an option, then there will be success. But any variations in the presumptions and there will eventually be a disaster.
You see, I’m the kind of guy that will show up every Thanksgiving drooling for some turkey. Even if it’s been 100 times that I’ve had to sit and watch others eat it. I’m an optimist and I believe that someday that turkey breast will be mine. But I will say that each time I am denied my turkey, I do get a little less interested. And yes, I have walked away before; but I usually get some turkey.
To me, that turkey is a priority. To the rest in the room, my eating that turkey could just be an option IF they have had all that they want. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. And with my temper outbursts, it could be a vicious fight for the last turkey leg.
Think about it . . . I’m going to my room to make a tuna sandwich.
Or maybe I’ll just go buy my own turkey.
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