“Curiously Strong”
This is the marketing slogan for ALTOIDS. I saw a can this weekend, and for the record I love Altoids. But the phrase caught my eye this time, and as usual I ended up thinking about it on one of my Tequila and “doobie” nights. I think I may have made a connection between females, specifically certain females I’ve met, and Altoids. Go figure, right?
First we’ll discuss the catch slogan. The word “curiously” begins the discussion. Just as Altoids claims, women are very curious. They may never be figured out, but they let you believe you are close enough to finding out. And just as when you look at an Altoids and have no idea what it is the first time, when you look at a woman for the first time you have no idea what you may be in for.
“Strong” refers to the power that Altoids has on you; that sensation of complete “letting go”. Women have that strong sensation also. Just as an Altoids can make you hop around with joy, women can make men do that also; and just about anything else that they want. For the record, women are strong. I know that physically males are designed to be stronger. But women have this inner strength that has always impressed me. The strength men possess is an outer strength, we have limited inner strength.
Anyway, the second connection after the catch phrase is the tin that the Altoids come in. That tin is not like anything else on the market. It is square and antique yet sexy. When you see that tin, it captures your imagination. The first time you see it you have no idea what may lie inside. It is completely hidden. You may want to peek, but they wrap the tin in plastic so you can’t get inside. (Getting a hint where this is going?)
Yup, women are like an Altoids tin. Everyone knows that there is something amazing, exciting, fun and beautiful inside. But you can never see it without finding out how to open the tin. There is no peeking; they never give you a hint about who are what they are. They want you to open the tin slowly also. If you just rip open a tin of Altoids, they pop out everywhere, fall to the floor and roll away. Similarly, if you try to get to know a woman too fast she explodes and exits to the ladies room never to return again.
We love to wonder what’s on the inside. We love to have our curiosity sparked. But ladies try to remember, we evolved from cavemen and our mental growth ended with wearing clothing. When you spark our curiosity, which I know that you love to do, you unleash that caveman in all of us. We want to bust that tin open and put what is inside on our tongue. But instead, in our exuberance (which is uncontrollable) we explode the tin sending all the Altoids crashing around us.
Ponder that for a moment.
Next, the taste of the Altoids is beyond definition. You see this petite, beautiful little dot sitting amongst this mass of whiteness. You place one on the tip of your tongue and the sensation titillates your senses. You whole being floats around in the heavens believing you have found the ultimate serenity. Your senses come alive, you smell things you love. Your body craves more.
But in an instant everything changes. The male does nothing different; he is still massaging this lovely dot with his tongue. Yet suddenly there is a burning sensation. The tongue is on fire, the senses shut down from the heat. The male fears he has been tricked. This amazing sensation that lifted him above the clouds now feels like it’s pulling him to the depths of Hades. He is confused and he is fearful. He wants to spit the Altoids out, but his pride won’t allow it.
But the craving, or addiction, has consumed him. He has to have more. But he now has been trained that he can only have this sensation in small quantities. His hand quivers as he places a second Altoids on his tongue. But he has already been burned. So he reaches for a second. He has to fight through this original rejection.
He learns that he must move slowly, even though everything about his being wants to pour the entire tin past his lips. He craves the initial sensation, yet he now knows that the burn is inevitable. He is strong to accept the burn though. He must have that sensation again. His brain shuts off, his adrenaline takes over. The addiction removes all his patience, kindness, and tact.
And as usual, the Altoids drop from his shaking hands and rolls across the floor.
He believes that these Altoids are his and his alone. There are a million tins of Altoids in the world, but to him this one tin was all his. He angers as he watches other males picking up one of his misplaced Altoids, and boils as he watches them wrap their tongue around his Altoids.
And now his tin is empty. He keeps the tin, just to remember the moment of that first encounter. But he can’t refill the tin with more Altoids. His only option is to get a different tin. But he is enamored with his tin. He fills the tin with “knick-knacks” to make people believe he is keeping the tin for that purpose. But inside, he is only doing it to remember that one moment when he felt everything he ever wanted to feel. He gazes at his tin when no one is around. He slips poems inside of the tin occasionally. He wants his Altoids back yet all he has left is this empty tin.
But the essence of the Altoids is to be shared by all. Heartbroken, he finally gives in to his futile existence; knowing that his rush to enjoy HIS Altoids was destroyed by his exuberance and then stolen by other men. He has quietly become and Altoids junkie.
He has been taught through his experience that he will never own his Altoids for a lifetime. He will never be able to keep a tin full of Altoids on his shelf. He becomes someone he never wanted to be. He becomes the man that stands around waiting for some love stricken soul to rip open his own tin of Altoids; knowing that they will come crashing to the floor and he will be there to steal someone else’s joy.
He becomes callous and mysterious, never wanting to be burned by his own Altoids again.
So you see ladies, once again your silent and mysterious ways create the type of man you choose to avoid. So the next time someone stops by and offers you an Altoids, open the can for him. Share your Altoids with him. Let us men be the type of men we want to be. And when the burning sensation begins, share the burn with us.
Who knows? Maybe we can light a fire in you that you never knew existed.
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