OK, between being totally ignored by a friend, and hearing all of you tell me how I may not be the “long term relationship” kind of a guy, I picked a date.
When I say I picked a date, I literally meant that I picked a date. I have this Altoids can and in it I have dropped slips of paper, business cards, and napkins all containing phone numbers that have been given to me in the past few months. So I open this can and flip through these numbers. I settle upon a specific number and decide that this is the one for Saturday night.
I know, it sounds cold. Unfortunately it gets even worse.
I picked the only note where the female wrote, “Call me?” She included the question mark and all, which I thought was classy. Of course my list of choices had dwindled. I couldn’t call any number that didn’t have a name or a place where we met. I figured I’m not a good enough liar to call a number, not knowing the name of the person or where we met, and convince her to go out with me. But on this one note, not only did she write the comment above, she had her name and number; and it was on a napkin that I recognized. So she would be it.
But I had no idea what she looked like. I didn’t recognize the name either. I was drawing a complete blank. But I was so tired of sitting around waiting to find someone that I had to go grab someone. So I took the chance and called. Thank goodness she remembered me. I just gave her my name and said that we met at a certain place and immediately she acted like she remembered me. Whew!
We talked for a minute or so, since I really didn’t know her or what we may have discussed when we met, I really didn’t know how to proceed. But I finally got around to asking her if she wanted to “hang out” somewhere Saturday night. She actually said yes before she asked what I wanted to do, which I thought was way cool. And honestly, while talking to her I actually sort of liked her. I had to remind myself that I am just a “cad” and this was simply a means to an end.
After I told her my plan for Saturday, which as I shared with you was a dinner downtown at Spaghetti Warehouse followed by House of Blues. Hopefully by then I will have charmed her enough to be the jerk I am supposed to be. She asked if she could meet me at Spaghetti Warehouse. This was ok with me; I mean she is a woman basically going on a blind date so why would she want me to know where she lives. My only problem is that I have no idea who she is or what she looks like. If she doesn’t approach me then I am so screwed.
Oh well?!?!?!?
So I arrive early and park up the street so I can see the front door, just to see if someone is standing around waiting that looks familiar. That didn’t work. Finally I decided I would bite the bullet, park and walk inside to wait. It was risky, but I didn’t want to miss out. As I am walking up to the door someone calls my name. I turn around to see this incredible lady and I instantly remember her. She had been fun, funny and interesting. This was a good thing. One, I remembered her and two, she was cute. And the outfit she wore was interesting also. To me it said, “this isn’t a given, but it’s not an impossibility either”. Do you know what I mean?
Dinner was good. We talked and laughed a little. Either she was nervous or she had been a lot drunker when we met because she was sort of awkward with her words and a bit more distant than I remember. But all that went away. As we were leaving I asked her if she was going to follow me to the House of Blues. She said she would prefer riding with me. Of course I opened the door for her, even though I was working for trim I was still a gentleman. But low and behold, she kissed me at the door. Now if I recall correctly, we did not kiss when we met. We talked, we flirted, and she placed her hand on my thigh once; but that was it. The kiss was nice.
We parked in the parking garage behind the House of Blues. We had a great time inside. She didn’t drink much, but she was a lot more inviting now. Around 11:30, we were talking and she said she was ready to leave. I agreed and told her I would take her back to her car, hoping that she had another idea so I didn’t have to suggest something. Yes, I was forgetting that I was simply a jerk. And she did! She asked if I knew of a place where we could talk privately. Hehehehe!
That was about the time it all went to shit.
We were walking through the parking garage; she had her arm in mine and was pressed close to me. We had kissed a few more times at the club so we were both very friendly. I was about 20 feet from my car when she stopped me and asked if I “saw that”. I looked at her because I obviously was oblivious to anything except getting her into the car and getting somewhere private. She was looking to the right so I looked there too. There was a couple having a heated argument at their car, and apparently the guy had pinned the girl against the car while screaming.
That was when something odd happened. I have always been the guy that protects those that can’t protect themselves. But at this moment, for the first time, I had no interest in offering help. And it wasn’t because I was about to get laid either.
I will now share a story that has been eating me alive for the past two months. I have a friend that I believe may be in an abusive relationship. I’ve kept it to myself, but Saturday I was pressured to share the story with my good friend Lovely Girl. She had been on me for weeks to let her know what was wrong with me. I knew that she had been in an abusive relationship once as well. So I decided to share.
My big problem is that I can’t do anything to get this person to confirm or deny the abuse. My natural instinct is to just take action and deal with the consequences. But I have believed that even with the abuse, my friend would keep going back to the guy. So I have waited. LG confirmed that doing nothing was the best course of action. She said some women actually enjoy the abuse. And even if she didn’t, I couldn’t make her want out. I had to wait until she wanted out and then only act if she asked me for help. Basically, I am helpless. LG told me not to contact her again. Argh!
As I see this couple I see my friends face. This makes me not want to help this other girl because I now have no idea if she loves this guy or what. It also makes me think about my friend and instantly the sexy girl on my arm is out of my thoughts. There were other people in the garage then, so I suggest that we let someone else deal with this situation. But my date stops me again and says that someone has to do something.
Crap!
I give my keys to my date and suggest that she go to my car and wait. Of course she follows me. I do approach the couple and simply ask if things are ok. I was suddenly the bad guy again and both were yelling at me. After a verbal tirade, they both got into the same car and drove away. As I was walking my date back to my car I suggested that I go ahead and take her to her car. I mean as much as I DESPERATLEY need to be laid, I had my friend on my mind now and I just couldn’t. Fortunately, she was very understanding.
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