My Journal 091

I am still not up to being my typical self yet. But I am alive. I just have a lot going on right now.

Last week I received a threat on my well being. Can you imagine someone being ignorant enough to threaten me? I was going to deal with it in a typical manner accustom to someone of my background and experiences. But I was asked not to react for someone else’s benefit. So I sit and wait for the hammer to fall on my head; something I am definitely not used to.

Then I had a gun pulled on me. I still don’t know what I did to piss this guy off, and I doubt it is related to the threat. Yet I had just left the FBI shrinks and I was told I needed to control my anger. So I just calmly talked to the gentleman. I guess I was lucky a cop drove by and I assume the gentleman thought he was coming back around, so he sped away.

I saw on the news about an attack on a caravan in Mexico. Then I received a call letting me know that two of the guys I knew from my recent visit to Mexico we in the caravan and were killed. It wasn’t an emotional call as I only met them one time, and they sort of knew about the risks. But now I am being pressured to go back, which I don’t want to do. They are waving the flag in front of me and talking about loyalty and team work. I don’t want to be an ass, but I don’t want to end up like them either.

I’ve already done my part for the American way of life, right?

Then I found out my dad isn’t developing Alzheimer’s after all. He has a large tumor on his brain. He didn’t even know who I was when I called to check on him. I should know this week how long he has left.

I spent the weekend busting my butt collecting data on my new venture. I met with my partners, but we ended up having too many drinks and just sat in the hot tub all Saturday night. But that is taking up the rest of my thought process.

Two of my friends aren’t speaking to me, even though they both contacted me this weekend to give sympathy for my dad. One is pissed supposedly because I misunderstood her text message and the other won’t return my messages because of my “poor” choices. Another friend has me in a holding pattern around her world. These are three people I don’t want to lose, but I just don’t have the ability to argue right now.

Anyway, this is my world today. I’m just making the best of it.