Ok . . . .
Most of my advice to you is to help you understand males. I am a male and I know exactly how males think and act. So all the advice is factual. But today I want to tell you something I believe about YOU.
It’s something I believe based on years of experience with females, observations of females, and interaction with females. But to be completely honest with you I must admit that I do not know this to be factual because I am not female. So you can read and believe, ignore, or just file it away for your future reference. It’s up to you.
God gave women all the advantages when it comes to relationships. Fair or not, this was the deal. If you are born with a penis you are behind from the "get go". But God did not want to leave us complete helpless; he gave us one advantage. And that advantage is a big one.
Males have been given the ability to differentiate females. When a male meets a female, he instantly puts her into one of two categories. And no it’s not hot or ugly. Actually all women are beautiful to the male. No, we are able to put a female into the category of "I want to do her" or "I want to be with her".
"Do-able" females are the ones that get our physical juices going. We will flirt with them and spend some money on them, but the goal is to have sex with them. If we see them again at a later date it is an accident. We may "do" them one more time, but twice is the limit.
Then there are the females we categorize as ones with which we want to spend our time. These females may attract us physically as well, but in addition they stimulate us emotionally. These are the ones we will date, "go steady" with, get engaged to, and possibly marry one day.
Males have the ability to do this differentiation. That is our advantage. Females cannot do this. Furthermore, females are subconsciously always looking for the male with which they want to be. But they have the burden of ONLY being attracted to the ones that they want to "do".
I believe that this is why women get so frustrated with males. You want one thing in your life, and that is a male to cherish you, treat you like a queen, be loyal to you, and curl your toes in the bedroom. But you are drawn to the guys that simply meet your physical needs. More than likely, the guy you are drawn to has put you in the category of "do-able" already.
So the females find the male that gets their physical juices going and then try to change him into the guy that does the rest. Yet the guy that has all the other characteristics you desire isn’t noticed by the female.
[Did I mention that this is a HUGE advantage for us?]
So because you are trying to change the physically attractive male, who has already classified you as "do-able" only, into a male that is something he isn’t and won’t become; you keep finding failure. He doesn’t call you and if you run into him a second time he may show an interest again. But then he is aloof and distant. You get angry and blame all males.
But this is an error on your part.
My verification of this is that almost all of the females I know well are in fact drawn to the wrong guy. The guy that isn’t and can’t ever be the guy they want for the future. Yet they can’t differentiate.
I figure a few of you, one in particular, are already thinking I am full of crap. So I suggest that you look at your life. You see a guy in a bar and your first though is, "hmmm, I could do that". So you do. Then you wonder why he doesn’t call. Or worse yet, you lure him into your life and then get frustrated when he is not the guy you want; even though he wasn’t that guy when you met him. You try to make an apple an orange.
You may also be saying that you want someone who can curl your toes more than someone that will respect you.
Most of my advice to you is to help you understand males. I am a male and I know exactly how males think and act. So all the advice is factual. But today I want to tell you something I believe about YOU.
It’s something I believe based on years of experience with females, observations of females, and interaction with females. But to be completely honest with you I must admit that I do not know this to be factual because I am not female. So you can read and believe, ignore, or just file it away for your future reference. It’s up to you.
God gave women all the advantages when it comes to relationships. Fair or not, this was the deal. If you are born with a penis you are behind from the "get go". But God did not want to leave us complete helpless; he gave us one advantage. And that advantage is a big one.
Males have been given the ability to differentiate females. When a male meets a female, he instantly puts her into one of two categories. And no it’s not hot or ugly. Actually all women are beautiful to the male. No, we are able to put a female into the category of "I want to do her" or "I want to be with her".
"Do-able" females are the ones that get our physical juices going. We will flirt with them and spend some money on them, but the goal is to have sex with them. If we see them again at a later date it is an accident. We may "do" them one more time, but twice is the limit.
Then there are the females we categorize as ones with which we want to spend our time. These females may attract us physically as well, but in addition they stimulate us emotionally. These are the ones we will date, "go steady" with, get engaged to, and possibly marry one day.
Males have the ability to do this differentiation. That is our advantage. Females cannot do this. Furthermore, females are subconsciously always looking for the male with which they want to be. But they have the burden of ONLY being attracted to the ones that they want to "do".
I believe that this is why women get so frustrated with males. You want one thing in your life, and that is a male to cherish you, treat you like a queen, be loyal to you, and curl your toes in the bedroom. But you are drawn to the guys that simply meet your physical needs. More than likely, the guy you are drawn to has put you in the category of "do-able" already.
So the females find the male that gets their physical juices going and then try to change him into the guy that does the rest. Yet the guy that has all the other characteristics you desire isn’t noticed by the female.
[Did I mention that this is a HUGE advantage for us?]
So because you are trying to change the physically attractive male, who has already classified you as "do-able" only, into a male that is something he isn’t and won’t become; you keep finding failure. He doesn’t call you and if you run into him a second time he may show an interest again. But then he is aloof and distant. You get angry and blame all males.
But this is an error on your part.
My verification of this is that almost all of the females I know well are in fact drawn to the wrong guy. The guy that isn’t and can’t ever be the guy they want for the future. Yet they can’t differentiate.
I figure a few of you, one in particular, are already thinking I am full of crap. So I suggest that you look at your life. You see a guy in a bar and your first though is, "hmmm, I could do that". So you do. Then you wonder why he doesn’t call. Or worse yet, you lure him into your life and then get frustrated when he is not the guy you want; even though he wasn’t that guy when you met him. You try to make an apple an orange.
You may also be saying that you want someone who can curl your toes more than someone that will respect you.
But here is the kicker . . . .
The guy that you really want, not the one you desire, will be able to curl you toes in a whole different way. It will be a toe curling experience that you never imagined existed. You will get the physical stimulation from him, but you will also get an emotional and even spiritual stimulation. Basically, if you give the guy you WANT a chance he will curl your toes all the way around and more.
Since God is a generous god, he does not make this inability to differentiate a permanent condition. At some point in the female’s life; either with maturity, increased experience and / or intelligence, or maybe simply because someone like me helps you; you finally develop the ability to differentiate.
My suggestion for you is to sit down and make a list of the non-physical characteristics that you desire in a partner. Memorize this list. Then, every time you go out for a night on the town, re-read your list. Then, while you are out, stop drooling for a moment and check out the guys that meet your non-physical list. It will lead to immense happiness.
Maybe I am right or maybe I am wrong. But in case I am right, what can it hurt to try? For those of you that kept in touch this weekend, I thank you. Last week I was destroyed, and it did change me. Maybe the change was for the good though. But for me, let’s all just let it go now. It’s in the past and it can’t be changed so I choose not to dwell on it.
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