I mentioned that I quit talking about feelings and shit. I never used to do it and back then I was happy being alone with my thoughts. Bust yesterday was weird and I want to share the events.
I took another of my road trips yesterday. I LOVE the hill country and I enjoy the people there. If you have never been to San Marcos in October you have missed a peek at heaven in my opinion. I chose San Marcos for this trip over New Braunfels or San Antonio because I wanted to watch a football game.
I have done about 2 dozen of these road trips since Sunshine moved there. I always knew she was nearby, but for whatever the reason, we never hooked up on one of these trips. But even though I was conscious that she was near on these trips, I was still able to have a lot of fun. A funny side note is that usually when I am talking to someone privately on these trips, I always catch myself comparing them to Sunshine . . . . and no one ever measured up.
I arrived around 3 PM yesterday. I parked in my usual spot , which is a field across from the stadium under a giant shade tree. Just down the road about 200 yards is the college tailgating party with live music, free beer, and many lovely and inebriated coeds. But yesterday I took my chair and cooler out and set up right next to my car.
I didn’t have the urge to be around people.
I have this program I usually run while I am there. I charm my way into a group, usually a sorority or fraternity group. Then I watch for the "sheep that wanders off". When I pick that one I make my move, and begin focusing all my charm on that one, while keeping her separated "from the heard". Then I maneuver her to some private area and seduce her.
To be completely honest, I never go for the TD. I carry the ball to the one-yard line and then take a dive. Like I said, I always end up comparing these beautiful coeds to Sunshine and they never measure up. But yesterday I wasn’t in the mood. Yet as luck would have it, the opportunity came to me.
I am content, having consumed about 4 cans of beer while sitting under a shade tree and listening to the Austin-tacious entertainment. I am thinking about life, my past, my future, and even Sunshine. That was when 4 sorority coeds walked up to me. Their vehicle was parked next to mine, and I was sitting between both vehicles. They came over to me, also slightly inebriated.
They were flirtatious, but I knew it was a scheme. I figured they wanted a favor so they were charming me. And I was right as they eventually asked me to save their parking spot for a few minutes as they had to go get something. I wasn’t doing anything, so I agreed. They returned about 20 minutes later and found their parking space open as I promised.
Again, they were flirtatious. But I knew it was all simply coeds using their talents to get a male to do for them, and I didn’t care. They hugged me, gave me a peck on the cheek, and left to return to their tailgating fun. And that’s where it started getting weird.
Well, "weird-er"?
I heard one of the coeds, in my opinion the hottest of the four, tell the other three that she left something in their truck and needed to go back to get it. And she told them to go and not wait for her. And sure to her words, she reappeared around the end of the truck and walked right up to me. She looked me in the eye and asked me if I had someone here with me. I said no, that I knew a student here but that I wasn’t seeing her today.
That was when she kissed me. Not a peck, or a quick smack; this was a "close your eyes and shove your tongue down my throat" kiss. I reciprocated. We kissed for about 5 minutes before we took a break. She asked me to come with her to their area and hang out with her. I thought about it, but again decided that I was in more of a "alone" mood. She told me she really wanted to hang out, but finally understood. So she wrote her phone number down for me and asked me to call her after the game.
And that was when it started getting "weird-er-er"!
She turned to walk away while still holding my hand. When our arms were fully extended where we had to let go of each other, she stopped and asked me; "Who is this girl that turned you free for today?" Without thinking I gave Sunshine’s first name. She looked surprised and gave me Sunshine’s first name and last name; and said she was "familiar" with her.
She told me something. I don’t know if this chick really knew Sunshine or not. And my gut say’s she is making an assumption. But then I remembered that damn Web Page. I still can’t put into words how it felt to learn she did that without saying one word to me. I was confused.
I threw the girl’s number away. I went to the game but I couldn’t enjoy it. So I left after the first quarter. I went to a liquor store and bought a small bottle of tequila. I checked into the Motel 6 and proceeded to finish the beer I had brought, the whiskey I had brought, and the tequila I had bought. Then I did something very stupid. I got into my car and drove by Sunshine’s house.
That part of the story will stay with me.
On my way back to my room I bough another bottle of tequila. Later that night, it was about 4 AM, and I was sitting in a room, drunk and confused again, realizing that for the first time ever I AM NOT having a good time on my road trip. Before I knew it I had my laptop out and I caught myself typing an email to Sunshine about my day.
Martel sent me a text. And then another; and then another. It was a message from above.
I stopped. I used to always write to Sunshine about my days and my feelings. But last night for the first time I was embarrassed to be wanting to share with her. I see her differently now, and I told her that already. She didn’t bother to respond when I did either.
It is now 9:00 AM Sunday and I am packed to return to Houston. I didn’t have a wild time, or fun. I didn’t charm and seduce people. And I let a very hot coed walk away and didn’t call her.
I think that this was my last road trip to the Hill Country. I think that this may be my last journal for a while too.
I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.
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