My Journal 192

I caught some crap yesterday for not doing my typical Friday “Shout outs” last week. I never thought to do it because for the first week in many months I was talking to ALL of you constantly ALL week last week. So I figured we handled the shout out stuff. But perhaps I was wrong, so I will get to them this coming week again.

Also, I am asked constantly how I am doing. So . . . . I am ok.

I remember a story I wrote once about a guy who liked a girl. Yet the girl asked for a “talk” after they had an unusual night. The guy in the story was worried that the girl was dumping him. It so consumed his thoughts that he couldn’t function. But once they talked it turned out that she didn’t want to leave him, but she had done something horrible.

Her actions changed him, like last week changed me.

This mistake caused the guy to walk away from her. He figured he couldn’t cope with what had transpired so he had to end it himself. But later he realized that his biggest concern before she told him what she had done; was that he was going to lose a friend. And now, because of the situation, he was going to lose the friend anyway. Only now it was his choice.

I left that story hanging, and let the reader’s imagination determine how the couple ended up. Well, that part of the story, the unknown part, is where I am now. I am sort of numb to my situation. And my friend is mad at me because it affected me. So just like in my story, the ending will just have to play out.

I will be ok either way. I have changed though. I see my friend differently; not better or worse, just different. That makes me behave differently and I feel the relationship will change somewhat as well. But maybe the change will be good. I guess it’s all what I make of it.

I’m tired already.

Thanks again to all of you for checking up on me. It does make someone feel important when their friends rally at your side.

Ciao!