My Journal 196

Sometimes in your darkest moments, something happens that changes your life for the better. At least that is what happened to me.

You already know about my disastrous week a couple of weeks ago. I was shocked, deeply hurt, confused, frustrated and eventually blamed for the situation. My faith in people was destroyed and my trust issues were at a full blown crisis. It all seemed so unreal, but the stink of it was that it was VERY real.

But then this odd chain of events started. I’ll keep the details to myself since I am being the private “ass” me now, but the result was that I met a very nice lady. And it resulted from this situation I was having. As odd as it sounds, in the middle of losing faith in mankind someone popped out of the woodwork.

So my weekend road trip has changed slightly. Instead of swinging thru SA today on my way to watch my Alma Mater play, I have a date to have drinks with this lady in SM. We been exchanging emails for a week now, we’ve learned a little about each other, and now we are meeting. I’m sort of excited.

So maybe I had to face the realizations I did in order to be able to give this person the attention it took to make all this possible. Who knows? Listen, it’s just meeting for a drink or two. But it’s something that NEVER would have happened if it weren’t for the disaster I faced a couple of weeks ago.

I guess the moral I want to share is this; keep you head up. You never know what is just on the other side of your troubles . . . . and it might be something good!

So my new plan is to go straight to SM for drinks before the game, and then I will watch some college football. I am thinking then that I may traverse to SA after and visit my buddy. He has a GREAT Mexican restaurant, and I told him a few months ago that I was going to stop by soon. I wanted him to meet someone, but that won’t happen now, so I will go solo.

Or maybe my new friend may want to go . . . .

Ya never know!

Now here’s the part with which I need your help . . . .

Last night, in my heavily inebriated form, I kept having this vision in my head. Someone I care about was buck naked and bent over a table in a cheap hotel room. A hairy and sweaty guy, rather heavy set, with body odor and acne, and who bothered only to unzip his pants; is behind her with one hand reaching around her chest and the other pulling her hair back while he is pounding himself into her rectum and calling her “His Whore”.

She has her eyes closed, but is yelling, “faster, deeper” at his demand.

This was the thought in my head all night.

And yet I still worry about her. But I can’t protect those that refuse.

This is my hell!