My Journal 069

I was thinking this weekend about life. Maybe having to write down the worst moments in my life made this happen. But for whatever the reason, this was my thoughts this weekend.

I guess to understand the purpose of life; you have to figure out your own interpretation of death. No one knows or will ever know what happens when a person dies. Maybe there are “Pearly Gates”. Maybe there are clouds that you can walk on. Maybe you do get to see your friends and ancestors. But all this is for each of us to determine individually.

As for me, when you die you lose memories.

I have heard people say that life comes down to what you want on your tombstone. “He was a good father” or “He was a good man”. Some say it’s the journey and experiencing everything that you can while you are here. I’ve also heard that life is to accomplish everything that you can. For me, it’s the moments.

A moment is a point in time where something happens that is so incredible that you never forget it. I’ve had moments.

I’ve walked out onto a sports field and listened to thousands of people screaming my name. I’ve thought that all these people could be doing anything they wanted, but they chose to spend their money and time just to see me play a game; hoping that for a moment (their moment) that they could be lifted to a better place.

I’ve held both my sons in my arms and watched them smile. I witnessed the blessing of birth, and all the joy and horror that comes from being 100% responsible for a human life.

I got to walk across a stage and be presented with a certificate stating that I am a CPA.

I have been able to witness the splendor of a sunrise and a sunset.

I recently was able to hold in my arms the most beautiful woman I ever met, and was able to tell her how beautiful that she is. I got to look into her eyes as I held her and feel something that I had never felt before.

To me, this is the purpose of life. Life is trying to find these moments, and to enjoy them. Because when I die I believe I will lose all of them.

I still am searching for more moments.

I want to know what it feels like to be loved.

I want to trust someone completely.

I want to walk down a beautiful beach at sunset holding hands with someone I love.

I want to hold grandkids.

No one knows what life is all about, but at least this is my take.