What did I learn on my birthday?
First, I have a scent.
Yup, I was given a bottle of cologne. I did my usual, smiling and thanking people while not really sure what certain gifts are. I said I would definitely try out this cologne. And everyone laughed.
“Try it out?” as the table all chuckled. “This has ALWAYS been your scent”
I opened the box to examine the bottle. To my utter amazement, it looked like the same bottle I spray on every morning. So I thought back, since I was just told that this had always been my scent. As far back as I could remember I had always used this cologne. I have just never realized that this was the only cologne I had ever used.
So I have a scent, no one is asking me to change it either. So I guess I also have a good scent.
Second, I am still a bad ass.
Upon driving up to the house after my birthday feast, being followed by 6 car loads of people; I found a man walking down the driveway and away from the house.
Odd?!?!?
So I stopped my car and hopped out. I was later told how stupid an act this was as he could have been armed. But seriously, my logic has always been that some of the most dangerous and deadly people in the world have wanted me dead on more than one occasion; yet here I still stand while most of them are long gone. So some schmuck walking down my driveway doesn’t scare me a bit.
Anyway, I used my big boy – authoritative voice and got the man’s attention. In a matter of seconds he was on his knees begging me not to hurt him.
So if that “Opie looking mutha fucker” that threatened me a month ago is reading along, be careful! Not only will I stop you, I will embarrass you, humiliate you, permanently damage you, and send you back to your woman knowing with all certainty that the best you would ever be able to hope for is to be the second "baddest" SOB on the planet.
Third, the people who wished me a happy birthday are the people who care.
The ONE that didn’t call shouldn’t be the one I focus on. I have some people who enjoy hearing from me, check on me if they don’t hear from me, do for me when I ask, and give a shit if I am ok. So if you didn’t call then you don’t care . . . . and neither do I.
Fourth, I still got it!
Now technically this happened Monday, but I include it in my overall birthday weekend since I hadn’t slept since Thursday night. But it proves that I can still charm the pants off of hot ladies . . . even when I am not trying.
I am at a party, stuck doing the bathroom detail. Yup, I was mopping up after people’s piss and plunging toilets that had overflowed. Exciting, right?
But a very attractive Hispanic lady was returning from the restroom and noticed some pictures on the wall. She stopped to admire them, so I spoke to her (There was really nothing else to do at the moment) I pointed out that each picture had a plaque next to it describing the picture. She began reading and mentioned that these interested her because of the town that she grew up in.
Hey, it was my home town also!
So we talked, and shared stories about our home town. Then she walks right up to me, smiling all the way, extends her hand and introduces herself to me formally. That was impressive.
But then she just stands there. I don’t like those “dead” moments, but I had no idea what was on her mind. So I paused also. But finally I gave in and asked if there was something else she needed. She grinned, placed her hand on my cheek and said, “Well sexy, if you are not going to ask me out then I will just call the office, ask for you, and ask YOU out. Talk to you Friday.”
With that she winked and returned to the party. Damn I’m still good!
Have a SUPER day.
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