My Journal #222 - LovelyGirl

I have been asked a few times what happened between me and LovelyGirl. She was my closest friend for over 12 years. But something happened and I chose to end the relationship.

I met LovelyGirl in 1999. She was a single mom with two young kids. I say single, actually she was separated from an abusive man. She was bright, attractive, and always dressed very professionally. She got back together with him and that was when I started noticing the bruises. But it wasn’t my place to get involved.

We became friends, but apparently she kept our friendship a secret from her man. That bothered me, I hate secrets and lies. But again, it wasn’t my place. One evening I was leaving the warehouse around 7 pm. It was dusk and I saw several people across the street in our parking lot. As I moved closer I saw LovelyGirl surrounded by three men. I watched as one struck her knocking her to the ground.

My logic is simple. Whatever two people do when I’m not around is none of my business. But when they do it right in front of me it becomes my business. And if I see a man hit a woman, I make sure it doesn’t happen again . . . at least in front of me. So I got her out of the situation, helped her pack at her house, and drove her to the airport. I helped her buy a one way ticket for her and her boys and told her not to come back.

She went to Kentucky to live with her sister. We stayed in touch. Our relationship started to change. She was now single and interested. I was still married, but sadly I was interested too. After about a year she bought me a ticket to come see her, and made it clear what we would be doing. I almost went, but my morals wouldn’t allow it. We had a few more close calls when she would come to visit my home town. But then she married a great guy and all the sexual tension evaporated. We were just great friends.

She came to visit again this year, but it was different. She was being very seductive and aggressive. She was married, so this made me uncomfortable. She became a bit angry with me and took a verbal poke at me. There was a woman I liked, but she had a boyfriend. LovelyGirl screamed at me, “I bet if she tried to seduce you it wouldn’t matter that she had a boyfriend”

I didn’t reply. I just left.

We argued more on the phone. The bottom line is that I learned that she had been lying to me about something real important. I don’t do liars. I accept some lies, but it is based on the lie and the person. LovelyGirl was my TRUE honest friend, and to find out she lied was big. Then she admitted to trying to ruin my relationships just because she was jealous and didn’t want other women with me.

So I ended the friendship. She’s called a few times, but I haven’t answered.

So, in case you didn’t know yet . . . . I hate lies and deceptions. I will walk away from a liar. I also don’t do taken women. I will find someone else that isn’t taken.

That’s the story. I love her to death and if she is in trouble I will still help. But I will do what is needed, and then return to avoiding her. That’s how I roll.

But it is sad to lose her.