I don’t visit doctors unless I am near death. (I did have a physical about 3 years ago) I have had many injuries in my life, and I watch how I was mended each time. So now if I break a bone or punch a hole in myself I take care of it. I made my own splint mechanism to handle minor bone breaks and I have sewn myself up with a needle and thread twice now. And I don’t take any aspirin or pain medication ever.
I haven’t been to a dentist since I was in college. There are two reasons for that. First, I had most of my teeth kicked out as a kid. The dentist shoved the dead teeth back into my gums and they sort of fused to the bone. So all my bottom teeth are dead and two of my top teeth are dead. Don’t need a dentist for dead teeth. Second, I brush my teeth about 10 times a day. Every time I put something into my mouth I go brush my teeth. And I floss every night.
I do experience a lot of pain daily. So I often speak about my busted up body. About a week ago someone asked me, “So what is right about you?”
Good Question!
So today I will discuss the things that I was praised about at my physical.
I was told that I have a “runner’s heart”. Basically that means my heart rate is relaxed. When I begin a run my heart rate increases as does anyone’s. But what happens to me is about three minutes into my run my heart rate drops. It doesn’t raise again the rest of the run. I am told that this is a good thing.
I was told that I have very clean arteries. The doc even went so far as to say he’s seen babies with more build up in the arteries than me. This is sort of surprising since my cholesterol is over 400. Apparently my body can handle it.
I was told that I have a very high level of testosterone. As I understand it, my sexual stamina is higher than a normal male while on Viagra. Most of my romantic events end when the female finally can’t go anymore. I thought that is how it is with all guys, but I hear that most guys give out after one or two “whoopies”.
[My personal best is a little over four hours non-stop and six whoopies]
So there you have it. In spite of having ankles that have no support and roll every time I plant them; in spite of having knees that are so bad they creak every step I take and cost me a full ride in college; in spite of a back that’s been broken twice; in spite of a shoulder that slips out most nights; and in spite of a nose that sometimes bleeds for no reason due to multiple breaks . . . . I’ve got some positives.
And I’ll take my good qualities any day.
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