Since I am on the topic of past flames, and in a VERY romantic mood lately, I will share another “lost love” story today. This one is about Lisa.
Lisa was another girl I knew since Junior High School. Lisa was AMAZING. Yes, she fit my mold perfectly. She was sandy blonde, blue eyed, big boobed, a cheerleader and more. She was our Valedictorian and one of the brightest people I ever met. She was naturally beautiful and so darn sexy. Lisa was great.
Lisa and I were friends. We weren’t like best friends or even close friends. But we were friends. We were obviously in the same group and ran with the same people, so we were always in the same place at the same time.
Now here is the strange confession part. I was always attracted to Lisa. Yet in all my years, and all the women I dated, she was the ONLY one I never took a chance at dating. Let me say that again. Me, Mr. “Go get what I want” never tried to get together with Lisa. Yes, she has been the only one I didn’t try for, and it proved to be a HUGE mistake.
So, Lisa and I were friends. We hung out in the same groups at school, but were seldom alone. We went to the same parties, with the same people, but were never alone. We talked, but never about anything substantial. That may have been why I didn’t try for Lisa. She was a go-getter too. She was confident, bright and successful at everything. So I always figured that if she had something to say then she would just say it.
But I always noticed her.
Anyway, she always had guys around her and had dates for every weekend. Even though I was attracted, I figured that she had her schedule booked. And since whenever we did talk it was about general stuff, I figured that she wasn’t interested. And at that time in my life I had plenty of other opportunities too. Thus, my hesitation in making a move.
Again, this may have been one of my biggest downfalls. I really liked Lisa.
We make it through High School successfully, continuing to “stumble” into each other every weekend. I get a sports scholarship to a small school and she received a scholarship to some big East Coast medical school. She was the talk of the town back then. So you can imagine my surprise when I ran into her as a student on the campus where I was attending college.
My assumption was that something had gone horribly wrong with her scholarship to the East Coast Medical College. I felt sorry for her, so I never brought it up. But it seemed that whenever I went out, she was there. I mean ANY place I went, there she was. It actually became a running joke between us. Again, we would speak in generalities but never anything serious.
Then one night my roommate told me that he had been asked out on a date by a girl he had met. He also added that his date had a roommate that wanted to double date. I agreed.
Yup, you guessed it. The date’s roommate was Lisa. I found out that I was on a date with Lisa. We laughed at first, but she seemed a bit awkward. I was comfortable, because we were friends. So I was confused at her awkwardness. She just acted very different. I began to believe that she was uncomfortable being on a date with me. I was a perfect gentleman since this was my friend Lisa. But inside I was dying to grab her and hold on.
And since you are brighter than I was then, you could probably read between the lines here. I missed that, I’m just a big dumb guy. But very early in the evening, the roommates bolted and left me and Lisa alone. Again, increased awkwardness on her part. But we had a few drinks and we danced some. We began touching, and I finally decided to try for a kiss.
Wow! Did she ever respond??? That kiss was . . . . wow!
The rest of the evening was incredible. When the bar closed, we drove to Austin and sat by the lake wrapped in a blanket. (Well, I will say that we “sat”) It was an intensely romantic evening, and we stayed there to watch the sun rise. I have yet to see a more beautiful sunrise that that one on that morning. Then I drove her back to her room, and we had the most satisfying good night (or good morning) kiss ever. I was in heaven.
The bad news was that it was near the end of the semester. And even though I had just had the date of my life, I figured it was “just one of those things”. You know, we had been drinking, we were friends, and it just happened. I could think of no reason that this would have been anything more to her. She was Lisa and she could have anyone that she wanted, so why would she want to settle for just me?
I never called her.
The next semester she was gone. I heard that she had moved to the Northeast after all and was attending the big school. I was happy for her.
Once again, we will jump forward to that infamous 10 year reunion. She was there, and we spoke briefly. She was now a Neuro-surgeon, or something like that. She had married and had a kid too. She still looked amazingly hot. During our chat, once again I got this awkward sensation from her. After a few moments, she actually teared up and walked away. I figured it was personal crap, so I didn’t follow up.
Big dumb guy, remember?
About 15 minutes later I was speaking to another of our old cheerleaders. I mentioned Lisa to her and how proud I was of her accomplishments. The girl proceeded to give me a tongue lashing. I was dumb-founded. But this is what dumb-ass me found out during this verbal barrage.
Lisa had a crush on me since Junior High School. She had wanted to say something to me for years, but figured I was so direct that if I wanted to ask her out then I would have done it. She also knew that I had dates every weekend so she didn’t push it. But she did manage to be at every place I was at every weekend, just so I could see her.
She actually put off her scholarship a semester just to travel to where I was and take a chance on finding out if there was anything between us. She would spend all week figuring out just where I would be, so she could be there too. And yes, she made her roommate ask out my roommate just so she could get a date with me. She was so excited during our date she felt awkward.
She waited weeks to see if I would call her after our date. When I didn’t she assumed I truly had no interest. She cried for another week. Then she gave up on me, went off to college, and married another man.
Ok, lesson learned. Lisa and I talked later that night.
I decided never to put off saying what I think or feel. No matter what I think that the fallout might be, I have to know. I’m the kind of guy that has to swing for the fence, even if I am probably going to strike out. I can deal with striking out as long as I know I took the swing. I can’t deal with standing by hoping for a walk and never knowing if I could have hit a home run.
I screwed up one time and may have lost the perfect woman for me.
For whatever reason, that one time I didn’t swing. Who knows where I would be now if I had. All I do know is that I sure would enjoy another date with Lisa. And I am swinging for the fence now. I may have had moments of hesitation a few times since then, but I have taken my swing faithfully in the end each time.
Oh, and I am getting used to striking out! J
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