So, today I was going to discuss the other “What is inside” topic. But as I was beginning I pictured each of you walking around in a very sheer bra and . . . . well . . . . I had to stop writing about it. Sorry?!?!
But man-o-man was that going to be an EXCITING topic.
Instead, I decided to tell you a story about another one of my life experiences. I don’t know how some of these old stories just pop up in my head from time to time. But this one I do have an answer.
Yesterday a friend was telling me that they have been sick for over a week now. My first thought was to ask if they had been to the clinic. This person lives in a college town that has a college clinic, basically free for students. As luck would have it, this town is the same town where I went to college. Once I realized where they were living, I prayed that they had not been to the campus clinic. And here is why . . .
There is a waterfall in this town. Back in my day, the waterfall was off a small road near campus. Today there is restaurant over the falls, but back then it was fairly secluded. And it was a place where my buddies and I would hang out on Saturday’s.
On the particular Saturday in this discussion, there were 4 of us that decided to visit the falls. Two of us were males and the other two were super hot females. Now don’t judge me, but it just so happened that early that morning the four of us were together in my room (Relax, me and one chick were in my bed and my buddy had the other chick in his) and we decided to continue the fun of the previous night into this Saturday.
Before heading out on our adventure, we did a little bit of illegal drugs (Shhh). Oh and we had sex again. Of course then we were starving so we hit Pic-A-Taco. Unfortunately, Pic-A-Taco served beer so we ended up staying there for quite a while. And yes, that darn smoking hot and very aggressive chick force me to have sex again in the parking lot of Pic-A-Taco (Thank goodness I had a BIG truck with a bench seat).
Now you are probably thinking, “What the heck does an illness and a clinic have to do with my sex life?” Well, you just going to have to trust me that everything I am sharing will in fact play into the interesting part of the story. Seriously!!!
We finally leave Pic-A-Taco and hit the Beer Barn for more refreshments. We also do a little more illegal drugs while driving around town. We finally make it to the falls around 3:00 in the afternoon. At this point we had been screwing, drinking and smoking for hours; so we were in a rather festive mood. We swam some, we walked to the top of the falls and jumped off into the river, we had more sex, and we drank more.
Eventually it was suggested that we didn’t need swimsuits. So we went skinny dipping and skinny diving. But we continued to consume our favorite beverages.
Now, we finally get to the interesting part.
There was a large rock in the river below the falls. Everyone knew about it, and you could even see it from the top of the falls. Everyone knew to just jump somewhere else, and not on the rock. But my buddy, who had way too much to drink at this point, made a bad jump.
I was making out with the hot chick in the river when he jumped. His chick was on top of the falls watching. We were all naked. The rocks was a few feet underwater, so from my vantage point I couldn’t see it. I saw him hit the water, and then returned to my hot chick. A matter of seconds later I heard the chick on top of the falls scream. Oh crap!
I looked up at her, and then down at the river near the bank. My buddy was floating face down near the bank. The chick up top was screaming that he had passed out and to roll him over before he drowns. Of course I believed her, so I started the swim to where he was floating. But somewhere along the way I guess a few of my brain cells kicked into gear. I put together the fact that he had jumped, that there was a rock near his landing zone, and he was floating motionless. So I began to assume that perhaps he had hit the rock.
When I got to him the water was shallow enough for me to stand. So I grabbed him by his head and shoulder, submerged him (Causing a weightless environment) and slowly rolled him over. He was awake, but not incoherent. He had a gash on his forehead. At this point I was convinced that he had a neck injury. I called for both chicks to come and help.
The three of us carefully floated him near the muddy bank, supporting him as best that we could. The I told the chicks to support him while I went for my truck. Being a good country boy, the bed of my truck had a lot of crap in it. One of these was a burlap tarp. I returned to the chicks as we wrapped the tarp under my buddy for better support.
I then returned to my truck, lowered the tailgate, and literally backed my truck into the river. I submerged the bed about half the way up to the cab and set the parking brake. I returned to my buddy and the three of us floated him into the bed of my truck.
Now was the tricky part. My front tires are deep in mud and my rear tires are in the river. I had to drive this big truck out of the river, with mud as my only traction, and as carefully as possible to protect my buddy’s neck. Fortunately, my big, old Chevy 4-wheel drive truck pulled right out. (Never own a Dodge)
The chicks remained in the back with my buddy, who by now had admitted having no feeling below his neck. Now remember that we were naked when this event occurred. No one bothered to think about retrieving our clothing before we left. We had left a few items strewn around the cab though. So I had a pair of cutoffs, one girl found her bra and panties, but the other chick only had my buddy’s gym shorts. She held an oily and wet towel over her breasts as we raced down the road, in a truck covered with mud, towards the campus clinic.
We arrive at the clinic and the chick in her bra and panties races in to get a doctor. My thought was that once the doctor was convinced of the seriousness of this injury he could call Austin for an ambulance or a helicopter. I felt that time was of the essence, so I was prepared to argue for the helicopter rescue.
But get this!!! The doctor comes out of the clinic screaming at the chick for being half naked and drunk. I see this and scream at the doctor that we had a guy with a possible broken neck and we need assistance. He then addresses the other chick whose oily rag blew away while she was tending to my buddy. He begins to lecture her on STD’s and birth control.
Again, I try to stop him by explaining the situation. He calls us a bunch of stoned punks and tells me to bring the guy inside. I refuse and suggest that he contact emergency services to get him to Austin ASAP. He flat out refuses! He says that he won’t treat a bunch of sex-crazed and drunk “stonies”.
This argument continues for about 5 minutes. He doesn’t budge. Finally out of desperation I tell the chicks to climb in and we will drive him to a hospital in Austin ourselves. So now I am zipping down the freeway; drunk, stoned, half naked and pissed. I’ve got one girl in the back in bra and panties only and another one topless. Mud is still flying everywhere and I realize that I don’t have enough gas to make it to Austin.
Yes, three half naked college kids had to stop at Texaco for gas in route to a Hospital in Austin. My wallet was at the river so I had a couple of dollars in coins in my console. While I was pumping gas, the topless chick ran inside to pay. What a freakin’ nightmare.
We did make it to the hospital, and we were treated with the respect deserving of what we had been through. I was told that by floating him in the river and into my truck I may have saved him the use of his arms. I was also told that when they got to him, he only had about 10 minutes of life left in him. I told the doctors about our experience in the college town. I was told that they would “look into it”, but I don’t think anything ever came of it.
My buddy had broken his neck, and when I last saw him he had use of his arms but not his legs. Perhaps if the dick-less doctor at the clinic had done his job then my buddy would be dancing with us tonight.
I don’t think that I ever saw the hot chicks again.
So, my sweet, sexy friend . . . . DO NOT GO TO THE CAMPUS CLINIC!!!!
I've got my own thermometer . . . . say ahhhhh!
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