My Journal 054

I promised information this afternoon, so I am posting early. Just pretend that it is Friday!

Happy Friday!

Ok, first my weekly shout outs!

Bananarama – Did “What the hell!” mean “What the hell, ok” or “What the hell, no”? J

Sunshine – Get well baby!

Suze – Hey, I remember you!!! Wassup?

Lil Devil – Yes, I am out of the hospital and thank you.

Now, back to me. My holiday break has taken a turn for the worst. My partner / boss approved my day off for the Friday after Thanksgiving. I take very few days off, and I actually lost about three weeks of vacation due to employee turnover this year alone (not to mention all the weeks I’ve lost in past years). I was planning on being in San Antonio / New Braunfels for three glorious days. My folks have my brother and sister over for Thanksgiving, and it’s the only time we ever get to be together as a family.

Also, my dad turned 80 a few days ago. My mom is throwing a BIG birthday party for him, and since she knew I would be there for the holiday weekend (since it had been approved) she moved the party to the Friday after Thanksgiving. All was good.

Until . . . .

This guy sends me an email saying he has given everyone Friday off and expects me to be here on that Friday to cover for everyone. Huh? So I reply and remind him that I already had that day off (like that did any good). So tomorrow I have to call my dad and say, “Oops, sorry but my day off was forgotten or cancelled or something; I really don’t know. But I have to miss the entire weekend due this nonsense.”

I could leave here Thursday morning as planned and drive to SA. But I would have to return Thanksgiving evening. My folks planned the BIG Thanksgiving meal for 6:00 pm. So I guess I would have to miss dessert and rush back here. Then I would miss the party on Friday.

Or I could eat a ham sandwich here alone for Thanksgiving, work Friday, and then drive to SA Saturday morning. But then again, I would have to leave Saturday night and I would have already missed the party. Gee, I sure hope my dad lives to be 90 so we can try this again.

But more than likely, my butt will be parked here all weekend. It amazes me that I got this day approved in February and made plans accordingly. Everyone in my family adjusted their schedules to accommodate me. Yet a week before my day off I find out that following procedure doesn’t mean crap around here.

I don’t get it, and my quest for an explanation has fallen on deaf ears.

How about a short story? Since this is a public forum I will keep it clean. Bear with me as this is not a dream or fantasy, I am making this up as I go.

~

He sat quietly on his deck, watching the sunset on a beautiful fall evening. He had his favorite drink in his hand and his feet propped up as he admired the results of his life’s efforts. He had accomplished a lot.

But he had found himself at a cross-road in his journey. He had never been one to choose the well worn path, like many others had before him. He had always preferred being off the beaten path, being a trail blazer and creating his own course without regard to popular routes. Also he enjoyed the solitude of creating his own trail in the woods.

He had found that even if you’re not on the path you will occasionally arrive at the proverbial “fork in the road”. Once again this is where he found himself, at least in his mind. In the overall scheme of life, this choice was a little one. It wasn’t a life and death choice, or a wealth or poverty choice. This was merely a personal preference choice.

But to him, right here and now, it was a monumental choice.

He knew what each path could bring him, and he knew what he would be giving up with each path not taken. It was all very clear, he just had to choose. There was no turning back once he chose.

He had to choose between pleasure, happiness, and devotion.

One path led to a chance at pleasure. It was as certain as it could be, but it would be emotionless. But by choosing this path he would be giving up a chance for real happiness and devotion. The pleasure would be amazing and all about him. It has titillated his fancy and driven him with great anticipation. It could be everything he wanted and as much as he wanted; no limits.

Another path led to happiness. It was definite that it would be attained, but it would be strained with occasional sadness and disappointment. By choosing this path it was certain that he would be giving up any chance at intense pleasure, and possibly any chance for future devotion. But the happiness would be over whelming and the greatest he could ever imagine.

The final path led to devotion. It would be complete devotion for the majority of the time, but in other moments it would be unlimited jealousy and rage. By choosing this path he was convinced that he would not want for devotion. He could be cherished, needed and loved, but would have to forego his opportunities for happiness and the levels of pleasure he craved.

He wasn’t one to ponder his choice for long. He had chosen to live his life making quick decisions and never looking back. He decided that he had until the sun had set on this glorious day to move forward.

He looked back on his past life, the life before he became who he was today. He had lived that life craving one path and he had enjoyed it immensely. He pondered the life after he had become who he was today, and again saw what the impetus was for him then. He contemplated where he was today, and understood his needs and wants. He then saw himself in the future, anticipating what he would want and need then.

His challenge was that in each of the three timeframes of his life as he saw it, he desired a different path. He knew them all very well. But looking at himself in the future, he had to have all three. He felt he had earned it. He had made his amends for past errors, he had lived a good life, and he had provided more than enough. Now it should be all about him.

Perhaps his amends weren’t sincere enough to offset the errors of his past. Maybe his sacrifices didn’t measure up to the pain he had cause to others before. Maybe this was just his penance for his past life. But taking all three paths wasn’t an option.

As the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon, he took his last sip of his drink, and he made his choice. Some people would be elated, some people wouldn’t care, some people would be hurt, and some people would be disappointed. But his choice was made. He raised his phone to make a call. He was moving on.

What would you choose?