My Journal 057

First, I just found my newest “worst” torture. Lying in bed with your leg inclined for 56 hours and doing nothing. Well, I did go get the oil changed in my car (about 30 minutes) and I had to piss a few times. But other than that, I did nothing. I did receive numerous text messages from a good friend keeping my spirits up though, and that helped.

Thank you, I needed that.

Second, I learned that there is apparently a way to send an email from this page to the account I set up for this page. I did receive one this weekend and I did ask if I could share it. Even though this person has no idea what my past was, I was told that maybe my past has led me to want the things I desire today. This is very possible. Perhaps never trusting anyone and never letting people too close has made me want to trust and be close. Also, I was posed these questions, which I found to be very thought provoking.

What happens if I don’t find that special person?

How long do I keep trying?

Do I eventually settle for 2^nd best or do I just do without?

If I settle for 2^nd best, am I still searching for the one?

Would that keep me from totally committing to the one I am with?

I jokingly replied that I was looking for answers, and not more questions. Ok, enough of that. AND thank you for the response.

Third, my old man is pretty pissed at my boss for screwing up his holiday / birthday plans. My brother is not too happy either. Now some of you believe that pissing me off would be a really bad thing. I would agree. When I am angered I move directly and swiftly. But these two guys are FAR WORSE than me. They will torture you for days or weeks. Not only that, they would burn your house down and shoot your dog.

So as of today, I am having a sandwich this Thanksgiving and watching some football . . . alone. I will show up Friday as ordered. As soon as my sentence is complete, I will drive towards SA. Whoopee, right? I will miss the Thanksgiving meal and the party, but I will show up. Saturday night I will make my way back to Houston so I can attend the BIG GAME between the Texans and the Titans. Like that means shit anymore.

Urgh!

For the record, even though my football career was cut short due to an injury, and even though I can barely walk today from my fall, I COULD HAVE COVERED THAT GUY FOR 10 YARDS AND 10 SECONDS!!!! Geez!!!!