My Journal 140

Ok ladies, did you know that HOW you answer a date request is AS important as your official answer?

Yup, we do pay attention to HOW you answer our requests to spend our time and money on you. I know that you truly believe that we are all morons that can’t put together a sentence with a word longer than 5 letters, but we actually are fairly capable at paying attention when we want. We just choose not to pay attention all the time so we can be more attentive when something important comes along.

We are a very complex sex. Nowhere near as complex as you females, but we are complex in our own way. So you can thank your lucky stars that you have me to “clue you in” on the inner workings of the male psyche so you can possibly get more benefits from us. Just remember not to tell our secret, this is a offense worth the death penalty in the World Male Court.

To aid in this confession, I have listed numerous responses and what we interpret from that response.

“Sure”

With this response we usually interpret it to mean that at this moment you basically have nothing better to do so you figure why not. We figure that if something else comes along you will probably cancel on us. You’re not that interested in spending time with us, but you figure it’s better than painting your toenails and watching re-runs of Desperate Housewives.

If we go out on this date it will be a very cheap and meaningless date.

“Where will we go or what will we do?”

This response gives us the thought that we are now NEGOTIATING terms for a potential date. Basically we figure that you are not really interested and probably have something else you could do, but depending on what we have planned you would consider changing your plans. You appear more interested in the event we may plan than the time you will spend with us. So now we have to immediately decide if you are worth our investment based on your hesitance. We know you will only go if we come up with something spectacular, and being spectacular for someone when you don’t even yet know their likes and dislikes is damn near impossible.

If we go out on this date it will be a date to please us with no regard for your possible happiness. We figure if we’re probably going to screw it up anyway, why not do something we enjoy in the process.

“Let me check my calendar”

Seriously? You are telling us that you are so darn busy and your life is so full of appointments that you can’t commit to having someone pamper you and drop a wad of cash on trying to entertain you without checking? This response makes us wish we hadn’t even asked in the first place. We believe that if we can’t be the priority during this exciting “getting to know you” phase, then we will NEVER be the priority once we get to know each other and the “newness” wears off. NO BUENO!!!

You will not get a follow-up call and if you happen to call us we will “miss that call”.

“Do you mind if I bring a friend?”

Ok, this response creates a myriad of confusion. First, we will probably think you are suggesting a threesome. And we are DEFINITELY up for that! But if we don’t clear our thoughts there will probably be a ton of embarrassment when we pick you up and drive straight to the NO TELL MOTEL. Oops!

So let’s assume that we figure out you are not suggesting a wild night of sex swinging from a bedpost, then our thought would be why. If you are too afraid to hang out with me IN PUBLIC yet by yourself, then why would you even consider asking to bring someone along? Are you planning on out numbering me in the event of a crisis? No, more than likely we will figure out that you really want to hang out with your friend, but you are a little short this month. So why not use your charms to get some schmuck to foot the bill for a night out for you and you friend? Pretty tricky there you silly girl; but we will probably see though this.

Unless your friend shows us her tits right now to prove her sincerity to our original thought, the answer will be a definitive no!

“Yes”

This response is simple, short, and doesn’t require a lot of wondering. It appears to not matter what the plan for the date is, they want to be with us regardless. This is a great response and gives us a confidence boost. We will definitely go the extra step to try to make it a bit more special than normal. We will go out of our way to please you.

You have a very good chance of having a really good time.

“I would love to go out with you”

This response is way above and beyond any expectations we could have had. Please remember that even the best looking studs in the world can only boast a 80% acceptance rate. Your normal guy would probably be running somewhere between 45% and 55%. So a response like this pushes you over the top.

Not only will we try VERY hard to make this the most amazing time of your life, we will darn near guarantee it. We might even check with your friends to find out what you like to do, and what you LOVE to do. We will bathe, brush our teeth, wear our best “duds”, bring flowers, and treat you like a QUEEN!

You will be completely overwhelmed with your time with us!

So there you have it. I am sure there are more possible responses (like saying no thanks) but this should give you an idea of how your response affects us.

So . . . . .

Who wants to do something next weekend?