First, have you ever been called a Creature of Habit? I think that everyone is one. We all have our quirks and set patterns. We get the same coffee from the same shop every working day. We drive the same routes daily. We all have something like our “fish night”. It’s inevitable, we all develop patterns.
But suppose you had to do the opposite?
In my other life that was one of the things that they beat into me. Never do the same thing twice. It is a seriously hard habit to break. And these guys didn’t take the “rewards” approach with their training methods. Nope, they were more like the newspaper to the snout. Their form of training was to completely break me down; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Once they accomplished this goal (and they always accomplished their goals), they built me up exactly the way that they wanted.
When I left that job, I had to go through months of adjustment training. One of the big points that they pushed was from that day forward, never do the same thing twice. And after living that way for over a year, it was sort of easy to begin my new life in the same fashion. But real life is different. It constantly urges you to develop patterns.
So, today I look at my life and I have many patterns. I don’t know when it started, but “poof”, here I am. I am again a creature of habit. For the majority of the world that really isn’t a bad thing. But for me with my past it could be. I seriously doubt that I still have enemies like that, but there could be some seriously upset individual out there somewhere that is still looking for me. And if they find me, these patterns could be a really bad thing.
Next, a friend said they looked up my address on the internet recently. I did check myself and believe it or not it is my correct address. But you will also notice that there are no pictures of me anywhere on the internet. Anything I do, I do discretely. I was told that this is important. And for many years my former employer would “dump” a bunch of mis-information about me on the internet. I was told that this was a Standard Operating Procedure.
And guess what? I have had different names in my life too. One was WAY COOL! Today I think that most of this is truly an over kill. But again, I have no idea who is lurking out there somewhere with a big hard on to find me again.
And now I wonder why anyone puts pictures of themselves on the internet. There do exist some special search engines that actually search within protected areas and pull back results. So as a test, I picked one of you and ran a search for pictures. I had a friend that had been doing another search for me and found nothing with that search. So I convinced them to run one more search on one of you.
I came up with over 100 pictures. There were party pictures, romantic pictures, crazy pictures, embarrassing picture, drunken pictures, nude pictures, family pictures and the basic head shots. And all this was from one simple search on a protected program. I was amazed. Not at what I found, but at what people will have on the internet. People, nothing is truly hidden. So keep that in mind when you post your crazy night sex pictures. (Yup, those too) Someone can see them.
Next, I just don’t get Facebook and MySpace. I got an email from this blog company about “linking” my pages to a Facebook account. So I decided to join the current century and try to set up a page. I still don’t know if I have done it right. And seriously, there is nothing to do on that page. I have no friends and I have no idea how to find friends. I can’t figure out how to link my words here to that page either. I don’t know what to do there. All I get is some screen demanding that I enter a phone number to proceed.
Screw that!
I hear that people use these pages to “chat” with their friends. I don’t get that either. If I ever want to talk to someone I go to their house and knock on the door. If they are too far away I use this old invention called a telephone and call them. Did you know you can actually hear their voice through this device? It is amazing.
Now you can call me old fashion if you want, but to me a face to face conversation is incredible. For me to be sitting next to a beautiful woman, “chatting” live with her, watching her facial expressions and body language, getting her immediate and uncensored responses, and being able to walk her out and into a nice bed somewhere HAS to be better than typing to someone on a computer. Touching someone has to be so much better than “friending” them.
Next, I do get this “Friends with Benefits” thing. Personally, I have never requested this form of a relationship; but in my past I manufactured many. They were secret and private too. But now it’s open and public. This SA chick asked me for that type of a relationship a while back. Honestly, I use it JUST for my benefit. This chick is sort of crazy about me, so I can simply show up and say, “DO THIS” and she does it. No matter how weird or awkward, it’s always a resounding yes from her.
Now this will sound bad, but I am just trying to make a point. To me this chick is simply “plumbing”. I use her to move fluids. I seriously do absolutely nothing to pleasure her, and she is fine with that. But there isn’t even a tiny bit of attraction on my part. As soon as I am done, I leave. And to be honest with you, I would really like to have a friend that I find attractive with which to be.
But even though I am a very direct person, I find it difficult to simply ask someone I care about, “Hey, I find you attractive and I enjoy sex. Do you want to just get together once ever few weeks and play?” I mean I wouldn’t have a problem with that relationship if I found the person attractive and cared for them. It would be the kind of sex I enjoy. The type where I get my rocks off by getting my partner off so many times that they ask me to stop.
I guess the part that makes this conversation difficult for me is that I want that emotional attraction as well. Seriously, I would like to have someone that I cared about and could call and say, “I’m on my way right now, and I would like to have romantic and passionate sex tonight”. Then maybe next week she calls me and says, “Come over right now, I want to have wild animal sex.” Or maybe, after a tough day I could call and say, “Hey, can you give me a quick BJ to relax me?”
I just can’t figure out how to begin that conversation. And if the answer is a slap to my face, do I lose that person from my life?
Next, I really dislike the acronym LOL. When I first saw it I had no idea what it meant. It has been explained to me it stands for “Laugh out Loud”. But I sort of doubt that this is the ONLY interpretation. I have received this many times and I have interpreted it numerous different ways.
It appears to me that some people use this acronym to send a very different message. It seems to me that at times people are afraid to say what is really on the tip of their tongue, so they substitute this for that. So here is a list of my recent interpretations of the acronym LOL.
· Fuck NO!
· Fuck off!
· Are you fucking serious?
· Ain’t no fucking way!
· You are a fucking moron!
Hmmm, maybe some people just don’t like to cuss in a text message. Look, it’s me. JUST BE HONEST!
Next, I got a good chuckle last night. Now for those of you who may not know me, I am 6’1” tall and about 200 pounds. I run daily and lift weights every other day. Basically, I don’t look like a victim.
I am pulling into a gas station. I am travelling on the side of the building and about to make a right turn towards the front of the building. After that turn the pumps would be to my left. I realize that there are no lanes in gas stations, but as I make the right turn I stay to the right.
Another vehicle had pulled out of a parking space to my right and in front of me. They are beginning to make a left turn towards me. I simply stop to give them room to finish their turn. But apparently the driver was in a bad mood. Somehow, my being there where I was supposed to be was problematic to him going through the area where he wasn’t supposed to be.
I left plenty of room for him to make his turn safely. Yet he chose to “sit” on his horn. Again, I assume he was in a bad mood already. Well, honking at me is a minor irritation. I have so much going on in my life that I don’t have time to pay attention to just anyone that honks at me for no reason. But to this guy I was the center of his universe. So he stops in front of me and gets out of his car, cussing loudly.
I really had no interest in his problems, and no intention of getting out of my car. But he was blocking me and pounding on his car signaling me to get out of my car. I finally got tired of waiting and stepped out of my car. I walked away from my car door, looked him dead in the eye, and loudly asked, “WHAT?”
If you could have seen the look on this guys face you would have laughed also. It’s like he immediately realized that I was bigger than him; and not afraid even a little bit. He backed up, apologized and murmured that he thought I was someone else.
Geez people, do some research before you try to be a tough guy!
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