My Journal #234 - How long would you try?

Sorry, but this is a story about me, a little knowledge, and a couple of questions. So hang in there until the end.

I spent the evening sitting in a hot tub, under the stars and fireworks, and actually drinking champagne with a friend. We wandered onto the topic of friends and what makes someone a friend. So when asked I did my usual and rambled for about 30 minutes.

Then my friend described what kind of a friend I am to anyone that knows me. She reminded me of a trip we took to Jamaica with many 17 & 18 year old young men. On that trip, a kid wandered off. We weren’t in the best part of Jamaica, and if you are familiar with the place then you know that even the better parts aren’t real safe.

It turned out the missing kid had been drugged by a local, and he had hidden the kid anticipating some sort of remuneration for his assistance in helping locate the missing kid. I sent everyone back to the boat as I knew how to handle the situation and I couldn’t do it right if I were watching over friends while I acted.

I located the kid and retrieved him, my way. It took only three hours.

As my friend reminded me of this story she took my hand, looked me in the eye and said, “You are the kind of friend that notices when someone is missing (physically or mentally) and you search for them. But the best part is that there is no limit to your search. You will never quit until you find them.”

I’ve always had a big problem with quitting. But I never took it that far. Yet as I thought about my few close friends I found that she was right. If they went missing, or if something bad happened to them, I would move heaven and earth to fix the situation. Absolutely nothing would be an obstacle. For a friend I would do anything.

I’ve never expected the same treatment in return, but as I again thought about my close friends, most of them would probably do the same for me. And amazingly, those are the friends that I hear from daily. There are a few people I believe are close friends, but as I thought about them I couldn’t see them even missing me if I left, or trying to find me, or spending more than a few minutes searching.

Perhaps those people aren’t my friends, at least by my new definition.

Are my expectations too high? NO! I have a right to be selective in those I choose as my close friends, because those are the ones that get to know the real me. They know where I am, what I am doing, what I am thinking, and what I am feeling. And trust me, that is a lot with which to cope.

So now that I am sitting alone, pondering my current life, I have two simple yet important questions for you.

1. If I stopped communicating with you, would you notice and look for me?
2. How long would you look?