So let’s assume . . . .
There was a Colonel that Frank reported to. There was a Special Operations group that Frank was a party to. I was there for different reasons. And whenever a “mission” was proposed this particular Colonel gave a speech. Every speech was different, yet every speech ended with the same request.
“You are going to work today. Because of that a lot of people will die. DON’T be one of them!”
Now, do you remember your mom harping on you not to run with scissors? If you do then she probably told you that 100 times. After a while the speech became mundane. This was what happened with me. I heard the ending to that speech so many times we actually would mock it.
If I was there, then I would have witnessed 17 missions, only two of which directly pertained to me. There were another six where I tagged along. On all these missions EVERYONE came back alive . . . . except for one mission.
I’ve told you about it before. These brave men came after me. On the return trip we were ambushed and two men lost their lives. Upon hearing the news of the deaths, the Colonel acted as if his own child had died. He was absolutely crushed.
This colonel had served for 25 years back then. Do the math, he had commanded troops in Viet Nam. So I can confidently state that he had men in his command that had perished before. Yet each death tore him apart. That touched me. And remember, at that point in my life I had no belief in a god or any value to human life.
Being me, I contemplated this thought today; the thought of death and how it affects people. My conclusion is that a death has zero effect on anyone except the deceased. The ONLY thing that affects people is the news of a death.
About three years ago I was on one of my trips with Frank. During this trip I engaged a bad guy. It was a guy I should have easily handled, but I fucked up. I ended up being thrown off of a roof and being hospitalized for three days.
I should have died.
Now I will give a pass on this talk to Martel, as she did not know me then. But the rest of you did. I was obviously not with you when my incident occurred. But I can guess how your day went.
LovelyLady – She had to speak to me every day, but she knew I was on a trip. So I assume she woke up, dressed her kids and went to work. She thought about me once or twice, prayed for me as she always did, and then went to bed that evening.
HMPOA – She knew where I was and what I was doing. She went to work, got high, and then went out partying that evening, never giving me a second thought.
Banana Rama – She would wake wondering where I was and what I was doing. She would text, then email me asking what I was doing. I couldn’t reply. She would be concerned, but have no idea where I was or what I was doing. She would go to bed wondering.
Niki Cole – She would go to work, send me a company email, and leave me a voice mail message singing me a cute song. If she didn’t hear back, she would figure that I was busy. She would go to work at her bar that night and never give me a second thought.
Sunshine – As far as she knew I was on vacation. She would do her job, flirt with every guy, go out after work and party, and then go home to her kids and fiancée and not wonder one bit about me.
None of your lives would have changed one bit.
At some point all of you would be notified of my death. At that moment you would be sad, each in your own way. You would inquire about a funeral, and perhaps make an appearance. The very next day you would go back to your normal life. Death would have affected you for a matter of hours.
I imagine that from time to time, when you were alone, you would think about me and wonder where I was when it happened; if I suffered; if I were alone; and sort of miss me. But life would go on.
Basically, when someone dies . . . . NOTHING ELSE CHANGES.
Someone dies. Their world changes. And that is it.
So I wonder why that Colonel took it so personally.
Today I treasure life. I realize that at any moment my world could change. And I treat everyone as if when I communicate with them it’s the last time I communicate with them. I say what is on my mind. If you piss me off then I tell you. If I love you then I tell you. If I want to see you then I tell you.
And if for whatever reason we never speak again, I know that I put it all out there with no reservations. I never regret not saying how I feel. So test yourself. Think of the last conversation you had with anyone. Did you tell them what is in your heart?
If you heard tomorrow that they passed away, would your regret not telling them something?
Live your life like there is no tomorrow. Maybe that is what the Colonel was really saying.
Ok, my Shout Outs!
Sunshine – Congrats on the new job. Make a hell of an impression; just don’t forget those that love you and helped you get here. They are the only ones that care about you, not what you do. Life is about people, not about a job.
Banana Rama – I miss you! Let’s make time to get together soon. Life is too short to wait.
Martel – You are always so busy. Don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers once in a while. Someone could mow them over tomorrow. And there are so many flowers you haven’t touched yet.
HMPOA – I know you now have a man and you want it to work out. I know he hates me because of our relationship. I won’t blame you for ignoring me. But would you miss me on the day you need me?
Niki Cole – You too. I envy you for being in love and having your first kid. Your focus has to be on them. But there is room in everyone’s life for a friendship like we had.
Have a great weekend.
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