I hope that everyone remembered what today is. Some say it’s the anniversary of the greatest tragedy in American History. I say it is the anniversary of the day we as a nation woke up, stood up, came together and said “NO MORE!”
Take a moment to pray for the souls of those that perished on that fateful day, and don’t forget to pray for those that died or were injured in the hunt for the man responsible.
God Bless America!
I received a call at the office today. It was from my friend that used to be my shrink. He said he tried my cell phone but it is disconnected. He was worried, so he called my work number to check on me. He had been on vacation and just got back, so he wanted to know if we could catch up on things.
Hey, a free beer is a free beer.
As soon as I sat down with him tonight he noticed my knuckles were raw and cut. He asked if I was fighting again. I let him know that I had purchased a heavy bag and had spent the night beating the crap out of it. He suggested I invest in striking mits.
He asked if I ever shared my other story, which I haven’t. (Hey, you all had a chance and no one asked) I guess he could sense my anger so he asked what had happened. I did try denying it, but this guy knows all my deep dark secrets and he is aware of the challenge I had been facing with one person.
So I told him what this person did on Sunday. He listened intently and his first question to me after listening was, “What are you going to do about it?”
I told him I was through with that person and explained how I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of knowing how what they did affected me. To my surprise he suggested that I confront this person and tell them how shitty what they did was. This surprised me because when he was my shrink his goal was to keep me from becoming violent.
He also told me that from what he has learned about this person that he agrees it was a VERY deliberate action in an attempt to hurt. I agree with that as well.
He told me again that I am probably the sanest person he ever met; and he trusted that I could present my disgust to this person without becoming violent. He even went so far as to say it would probably be good for me to put them in their place in a calm and polite manner.
I told him I was still a long way away from being calm around that person again.
Since we were talking I asked him about requesting something back that I had once given to this person. He said I am the best judge on what I should do, and whether I should ask for it. But he said I need to understand why I want it back.
If I want it back simply because it means a lot to me, and I know it doesn’t mean shit to them now that I know how they feel and what they really are like; then I should ask for it back. But if it is just a way to do my usual and pick a fight so I could feel justified for blowing up then I shouldn’t do it. He said they have this strange control over me, and I need to break that hold. By picking a fight I am doing exactly what they want.
So his final advice was to confront the person regardless of their schedule, to take control of the situation, to let them know how horrible what they did was, and then to let it be their problem.
I worked on my heavy bag again tonight after our drinks. Then I had a glass of Jack Daniels Single Barrel and sat down to think. Here is my conclusion.
I doubt I will ever hear from this person again. But if I do then I will ask for my property back with no explanation. If they have the guts to ask why then I will tell them. And if they ever ask what is wrong, I will give them a chance to let it go. If they don’t then I will tell them as calmly as I can.
For the record, this friend / shrink is pretty good. I do feel better after talking to him. I’m still furious beyond control with the person that “pin pricked” me again.
But I am better.
And my previous offer is still out there. If anyone wants to know what happened when I was a kid and how it probably started my world spiraling into the person I became; then ask me. But it will have to be a face to face talk. I won’t write this shit down.
Have a good week.
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