Before I begin, let me say that if I had to pick only one mentor, idol, person that made me who I am then I will pick my grandfather.
My grandfather was the son of the famous Sheriff and savior of Seguin Texas. He was the son of White Swan, a full blood Cherokee Indian. But most important to me, he was the man that showed me life, and helped me understand that love exists. Further he told me that ”the one” would appear to me, that it would be a hard fight to win her heart, but when I did I would have the greatest love that ever existed in anyone’s life.
When I was born my folks had nothing. He took us in on his ranch. He taught me as a baby to work hard, to work harder than everyone else. He made me believe that I was special and that the future was in my hands.
When I started playing football, he made every game. At 70 years old he sat in 20 degree weather with sleet to watch me help defeat our arch rivals. As a kid, the year I scored more touchdowns than anyone in the city, he was standing in the end zone for every single score to remind me that 10 other boys helped me get to this point.
When my leg was crushed he was the first one at the hospital. He listened as the doctors told him that I would never walk again. He came to me, while I was still covered in blood and mud. He leaned down to me and asked me what my dream was. I told him my dream was to play in the NFL. He patted my crushed leg and said, “Then don’t listen to the doctors. You have the heart of a Cherokee and no matter what they say, if you want to walk, run, or play ball again then you will.”
When my sister was attacked when I was 12, he came to me and told me that my only purpose in life was to avenge her. He told me that the law was good, but in this case it was helping the shits that hurt my sister. He told me to do what I know needed to be done. Then he told me that what happened to her, regardless of what I think, was not my fault.
[Don’t you wish now that you had asked about this story?]
When I finally reappeared from my job with the government, he looked at me and hugged me. Then he told me that killing people is a very horrendous thing to do, but if in my heart I believed I had saved lives then I should be proud. I had not told him what I had done; he just looked in my eyes and knew. He told me that the blood pumping through my heart was the same blood that mad his father the famous man that he was.
Most of you think I am nuts when I tell you that I still talk to him. He introduced me to Cherokee traditions, such as giving a Cherokee name to someone; but just once in your life. He also showed me how to take Vision Quests so we could talk for an eternity. And I have done this many times. He told me he talks to Sunshine’s ancestors and how I need to remain a part of her life.
[I tried]
My grandfather was the opposite of me. He was quiet, conservative, and never had a fight in his life, other that WW1. He was only with one woman his entire life. My grandmother died a horrific death when my dad was a kid. Yet my grandfather never dated another woman. I once asked him why and he told me that love is forever. He fell in love and no one will take his true love’s place. That was when he told me about my one true love, which he described in great detail.
He told me that she would be very different, and that she wouldn’t believe in me because of the things I have done in my life. But he told me to stand by her because no one else would. He said that once she fell in love with me that our love would be monumental. He also said that once I was with her that no one else would ever turn my head again.
My grandfather died while I was in college. His funeral was on a Thursday, at the same time as I had a major final exam. I took a Vision Quest to ask him what I should do. He told me that my life was dependent on my exam, and he already knew that I loved him. I took my test while they buried my grandfather.
I made a 100.
My grandfather is the man I wished I was. He never hurt anyone other than in war. He laughed a lot, worked harder than anyone, and loved me regardless of what I became. If I was him I would never have been screwing every girl I met. If I were him I would never have become what I became for our government. I would have said no, and I would be happy today.
And for the love of my life, I guess I haven’t met her yet. Based on what he told me I thought I had met her. But life is cruel as I wrote yesterday. So I still believe that the woman he spoke of is still out there, waiting for me.
Tonight I hope to chat with him again. We all need someone, right?
Thanks Grandpa!
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