Last week I missed by appointment with the shrink. So yesterday we had two weeks of crap to discuss. And as usual we spent the bulk of the time discussing the events from my Bloody Sunday two weeks ago.
Ladies . . . . He disagrees with you. He said I always have to be what I am and going way out of my way to help a friend, while being abused, and while knowing that it would be completely unappreciated, and possibly knowing that it would end a positive relationship in my life was the RIGHT thing for ME to do. He claims that with all the drama and confusion in my life that I need to just be me and not try to do change my core beliefs. How I react can be modified, but my core reaction was correct.
He even asked if Sunshine would ever want to talk with him professionally. Riiiiight!
What has changed in my mind is my vision of her. I used to see her smiling and laughing. I would see her having these high level conversations with people and being happy. And I would see her eyes and legs, which are my favorite attributes of hers. She always looked so amazing in my thoughts.
I always saw her as a person, a mom, and an amazing woman while others only seem to see big tits, a nice ass, and her sexy wardrobe.
But now I see the person I saw a week ago Sunday. I see a person that came to see me and my friends and ended up stripping and pole dancing for the guys next to us. I see the girl that poured a bottle of water in my lap when I wouldn’t give her another beer. I see the girl that asked me dancing but now I see it as she just wanted to dance and I was the closest guy. I now see the girl that abandoned me in Conroe. I see her rolling her eyes when I tried to talk with her. And I see the person that wanted so badly to impress other people that she couldn’t find 5 minutes to return a damn jersey.
I no longer see a good yet troubled girl. I see a rude and inconsiderate person that uses people to get by.
On a better note, the new Cupid chick and I spent the day texting, talking, and the evening emailing each other. We are now at the point where we are sharing the “not so great” stuff about ourselves. This is good. It’s good because we are sharing and still enjoying each other. She seems to be a nice person, and we have a lot in common.
Wish me luck.
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