I once sat on a hill covered in snow for over 50 hours. I was working and I had plenty of time, so I could wait for the proper moment and I kept telling myself . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
I’ve used that phrase a lot in my life. I was in a game once where we were down by over 20 points in the second quarter. My teammates were down and distraught. They were ready to give up. And I remember telling myself . . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
It’s a pretty clear phrase. It means exactly what it means, and there are no surrounding meanings. For example if you’re looking to start a new business, and you found a location, and you have an idea, but the cash isn’t quite there yet; then you tell yourself . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
If you hate your job and you want to move on, but it’s a tough time and you know people are counting on you; then you tell your self . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
But it some circumstances that phrase can create alternative situations. And that is where I am today.
Cowgirl is beautiful and sexy and funny and strong. She and I have so much in common it’s scary. But she wants to know about my past. It takes many years for me to share that with people. But if I do then maybe I have a chance at happiness. But I’ve only known her a few days so I still say . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
Mustang is amazing, and she’s speaking to me again. But she still won’t be with me because she believes that I was with another woman the night I was supposed to be with her. I had already told Mustang that I once had strong feelings for the woman I was with, but nothing happened. I probably should quit and move on. We’ve only known each other for a month or so. Now would be the time to leave before an attachment really forms. Yet I find myself saying . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . .
And of course there is Sunshine. I am convinced that she is through now, because she is pissed. (For what I still don’t understand but nevertheless pissed) I don’t think about her as much anymore. I avoid it when people are talking about her. I avoid places where I think she could be. I should just walk away. But we’ve known each other for several years, and I think I know her better than most of her friends. She may be worth it. So I keep finding myself saying . . . . . Not yet.
Not yet . . . .
Sometimes saying not yet makes you appear weak, or needy, or delusional, or just plain ass crazy. But I’ve really never cared what people think of me. I just want to tell to go where I’ve been, do the things I have done, experience the nightmares with which I live.
Pick any day of my life and experience it, then you have the right to call me crazy.
Or tell me to quit.
But for now it’s still real simple to me. Will I quit on these ladies?
NOT YET!
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